evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 27/04/2025the problem with saying “don’t put all your eggs in one basket “ is that implies that people have more than one basket 050
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 02/04/2025a mind reader goes to buy a shirt and the salesperson goes, “are you a large?” and the mind reader says, “no, i’m a medium” 130
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 13/03/2025trying to make a post about the smiths and the word "morrussy". like bussy. but i cant figure it out 040
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 08/03/2025there was no greater feeling than being a kid and telling someone that ekans was ‘snake’ backwards. felt so powerful, so smart, never felt so good again 130
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 22/02/2025just went and checked on the lake outside. confirming that it’s still water 140
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 13/02/2025one of my favourite bits is when i’m watching a movie with a friend and the guy that’s clearly the villain is introduced i say “i don’t like the vibes of that guy” and when he inevitably does something evil i say “called it” 020
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 04/02/2025*laughing to the audience* everyone should die but me *suddenly sincere* except for everyone i have ever met and loved 040
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 20/01/2025paul thomas anderson: i’ve got this new movie idea executive: ok is it set in- paul thomas anderson: it’s set in the san fernando valley executive: ok. ok. ok man. ok 010
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 28/12/2024what kind of music does a kangaroo listen to? skip hop!!!!!!! 020
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 28/12/2024been trying to come up with better jokes for christmas crackers. dont mind me 010
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 18/12/2024god i would be so bad at being a hired goon. i’d fuck everything up. like i always do 030
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 13/12/2024they say the rizzler was a wanted man / he makes his way all across the land 000
Reposted by evieBec Shaw @brocklesnitch.bsky.social · 09/12/2024Days like this on social media feel like when a bird got into the classroom 91118174
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 03/12/2024why does crying on the bus feel so good. ethereal. poetic. out of body emotional experience. touched by a god i don’t believe in 010
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 27/11/2024having to explain what a polycule is to my coworkers is outside my job description and i should be compensated for psychological distress 060
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 17/11/2024i’m actually on a sea monkey diet. i see a monkey, and i do monkey! its mostly just bananas and feces 050
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 15/11/2024no longer a manic pixie dream girl. accepting my fate as a manic giant nightmare woman 080
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 23/05/2024nothing quite like forming a new in joke with a friend like you’re hanging out and you’re like yeah this one is gonna be one for the history books 010
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 15/05/2024the person who broke up australian beatles was called yoko o-nauuuur. or something 050
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 17/03/2024right when i am about to stop living for the hope of it all i get hit with a “salt aaaair” 010
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 11/03/2024if you call a bird ‘unflappable’ is that a compliment or an insult 030
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 06/03/2024spent years crafting my personal brand by typing in lowercase and being whimsical only to realise i just talk like an undertale character 020
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 24/02/2024the first person to say “whoopsy daisy” was really onto something 020
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 24/01/2024it is kinda crazy that they just decided pluto wasn’t a planet 010
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 15/01/2024post office not even attempting to beat the bad vibes allegations 000
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 05/01/2024i’m on a semen diet. i see men, and i guzzle giant loads of all their cum 120
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 30/12/2023thinking a lot about how to complain about something call that mulled whine 030
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 20/12/2023“have yourself a merry little christmas” how about you don’t tell me what to do 020
evie @yeevz.bsky.social · 04/12/2023happy december everybody time to put away your spring onions and bring out your summer ones 000
