iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 19/12/2025

Do you have a Christmas you'll always remember as kind of #therapeutic, because you had an experience or gained an understanding that changed your thinking or life for the better? #counselling #therapy

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 13/12/2025

1/3: "They've made their bed, they can lie in it." It's a very old saying - goes back to at least the 16th century, with its earliest clear appearance in English around 1546, in John Heywood’s A Dialogue of Proverbs. And it's wrong, in part. #changeyourlife #counselling #therapy

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 28/11/2025

Five reasons your ex is still checking your social media. #relationships

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/11/2025

Samaritans is a charity offering 24/7 confidential emotional support for anyone distressed, struggling to cope, or having thoughts of harming themselves. They listen, don’t judge, don’t give advice or tell you what to do. Their free UK helpline number is 116 123. #counselling #therapy #reflections

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/11/2025

#Humour can show up in #therapy - sometimes from clients, sometimes (carefully, respectfully) from me. It’s never about making light of someone’s pain, and it’s not something that fits every moment or person. But it can loosen tension and help to open up space for honesty. That can be #therapeutic.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/11/2025

A no filler guide to #attachmentstyles. Do any of them sound like you? There's no bad to gaining better understanding of ourselves and if there are any issues in life around your #attachment style, a #counsellor can help as these styles are not forever fixed. #counselling #therapy

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/11/2025

#Boundaries shouldn't be difficult to understand and actually, they aren't. It can be hard to keep yours maintained but it's important that you do if you're not comfortable. #counselling #therapy

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 04/11/2025

If you have ❤️ and care for someone in mental distress with bad thoughts, like they're not worth anything or hate who they are, share this picture with them as a gentle way of introducing a different perspective. #selfimage #love #support #kindness #compassion

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/10/2025

The mysterious ability of #intuition to assess people and situations seemingly without involving active thoughts and emotions can sometimes provide us with clarity in signalling something isn't right. #poetry #poems #counselling #therapy

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 20/10/2025

When we are stretched too thin by life's demands, it can feel as if everything is dissatisfying, difficult, and upsetting. #Therapy can help us get more out of living and find joy. If you're in the #UK looking for a #counsellor, do please consider getting in touch - link on my profile page.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 17/09/2025

In #counselling, we may explore parts of ourselves we believe to be #broken. Yet it is in those very cracks that #love & #compassion can enter. #Healing does not mean erasing #grief or #longing. Even in brokenness, you are worthy of being seen, heard, & supported. #therapy #BrokenButHealing

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 15/09/2025

Without taking risks, there are times when the story can’t move forward - it stays stuck on the same page. Why are you still with him when you don't love him? Why do you stay in a job that is impacting on your health? #counselling #therapy #risktaking #opportunities #love #career

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 13/09/2025

Goodnight my sweet Billy. 2007-2025. 18 years old. Devastated. #cats

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 03/09/2025

When life feels overwhelming, people who truly love you will understand your need for #space. Your #counsellor will also get it, providing you with a #nonjudgmental #safespace where you can pause, breathe, and find your way back to yourself, rediscovering your strength at your own pace.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 28/08/2025

#Relationship #breakups can feel like devastation, but they also create the space for something new to grow. In #counselling, we explore the #grief, the #loss & the #rebuilding - at your pace, in your way. Together in #therapy, we can help you make sense of the past & start shaping your future.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 20/08/2025

The destructive #behaviour of a #malicious #gossip is an inappropriate and ineffective response to unaddressed #trauma, where they experienced people and situations as #abusive or #painful in other ways. #Healing is possible. #therapy #counselling

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 13/08/2025

Adults, through a supported & safe #therapeutic journey of #self-discovery, may find their difficulties originate in the way their minds & bodies responded to #neglect experienced in #childhood. Although you didn't get love & care as a child, it doesn't mean you're unworthy of it.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 04/08/2025

We gain, grow, and ultimately become the person others turn to for #friendship and #love by holding strong to values that build and reinforce #confidence in our own selves and the decisions we make. #counselling #therapy #trust #love #safespace

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 02/08/2025

Children who get unconditional love from parents don't usually recognise it or know it's rare. They may come to appreciate how precious it is later in their lives when those who gave it to them are nearing or have reached the end of their journeys. #counselling #therapy #unconditionallove

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 01/08/2025

When we quit masking the unpleasant tastes and odours of other people's bad behaviours and overcooked lies, we wake up to an awareness that the end of the meal for two or more is approaching. #relationships #metaphors #freedom #emotionalindigestion #relationshipreflux

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 31/07/2025

When you're focused on helping someone unwilling to help themself, it is emotionally and psychologically draining. It leads to burnout, frustration, and a sense of failure. #counselling #therapy #helping #burnout #carers

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 31/07/2025

Many of us have done awful things at times that appear senseless & foolish with hindsight, burning bridges, damaging others. It isn't possible to go back in time but we can make amends, learn from what we did, become the people we want to be. #friendships #relationships #therapy #counselling

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 29/07/2025

We become stronger when we acknowledge our #vulnerabilities because only then are we able to start the work of addressing them or find ways to work around them. #counselling #therapy #becoming #selfknowledge #awareness

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 29/07/2025

#Gratitude can sustain us mentally and emotionally through both good times and hard times. It is genuine #appreciation and #honesty that can make another person's day or help you get through yours.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 27/07/2025

There are no fixed outcomes to what we go through. Everyone is different. Behavioural traits exist, though, that can sometimes be tracked back to childhood. As adults, we may find they get in the way of our happiness and connections to others. #counselling #therapy #abandonment #neglect

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 26/07/2025

Self-care is not about individualism, it is about the individual being kind to themself. You remain accountable to others; self-care as terminology is not a licence to justify selfish behaviour, or to ignore the needs of others. #counselling #therapy #selfcare

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 26/07/2025

Resolution of many things comes through work that involves respectful listening as the foundation for change. #counselling #therapy #communication #difference

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/07/2025

Introductory offer available right now for anyone looking to get competent, qualified #counselling support to help with whatever you're dealing with. UK residents only. The initial 30-minute phone assessment is free. #therapy

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/05/2025

Just spent my first night back home after my #bowel surgery & #stoma provision. Wiped out most of the time but getting around the house slowly & carefully. Can't do much but keep thinking I'm glad to be alive & to have had excellent care from the #NHS. It will get better. It's only been 9 days.

Integrative Counsellor Xander Hinkinson's first photo after having had major surgery - a bowel resection and stoma.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 06/04/2025

Lovely afternoon with my fiancé walking in the sunshine at #BrimhamRocks. 300 million-year-old formations in #Yorkshire.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 31/03/2025

Everyone deserves respect, equality, freedom from fear of violence and an end to all forms of discrimination. #transrightsarehumanrights

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 22/03/2025

Apple Intelligence continuing to work well, judging from an email summary in my inbox this morning. More like £3.31 but hey, it gave me a laugh after my eyes popped back in.

Screenshot of Apple Intelligence calculation error in an email summary.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 09/03/2025

The #NHS could do better if it had the funding from politicians who actually recognised the needs of the people who vote for them and prioritised those needs over the concerns of the wealthy to keep their money in their own bank accounts. #therapy #counselling

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 06/03/2025

So we officially 'gave notice of intention to marry' at our local registry office this afternoon. The wedding is in August. #lovealwayswins

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 06/03/2025

It's a beautiful sunny day - and not cold! I'm sat at the #registryoffice while my partner is in with the registrar confirming they're who they say they are and nobody is forcing them to marry. Then it's my turn! And then, at the end of August, we'll be getting #married. 💕

Photo of Xander, counsellor, at their local registry office giving notice of intention to marry.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 02/03/2025

One of our #hens gave us a scare when she got out while we were out yesterday. We were up from dawn today looking. She appeared on the street just as night fell today. She was pecked by the biggest of the girls when returned to the coop - a total dressing down for going AWOL! #chickens #petchickens

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 02/03/2025

When I'm not being let go of and belly rubs are demanded. #cats #kittens

Black and white kitten hugging owner's wrist.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/02/2025

I'd love to know the origin of this photo doing the rounds but I don't or I'd credit the source. #Tesla cars are rapidly becoming the new must-not-have across Europe.

Poster saying 'From 0 to 1939 in 3 seconds' with a Tesla underneath with Elon Musk doing his Nazi salute on top.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 31/01/2025

The teddy in the TARDIS is Aloysius. He's around 55 years old. Nearly 56. He's been with me for a long time. I got him when I was two and I'm 58 in February. #DoctorWho

Tiny ancient yellow teddy in TARDIS doorway.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 25/01/2025

One of the most interesting #LiloandStitch #FunkoPops released to date is Concept Stitch. This was produced from an early design for the character.

Concept Stitch Funko Pop from an early development idea for the character. He's light green with dark green spots in a yellow and orange outfit with all four arms on display.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 22/01/2025

I love all my artist #buildabears. My favourites, though, have to be Vincent van Gogh and Frida Kahlo.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 22/01/2025

People who say #cats don't love their people and enjoy affection don't know cats. #catsofbluesky

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 20/01/2025

This is me & my partner. I don't often share pics of us. They have neurodevelopmental disabilities. People like my partner still get treated as less than & othered in the UK & abroad, failed by govts & services. I live with anger about that. But I also live with & am loved by an amazing person. ❤️

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 20/01/2025

I finished this painting this evening. It's called what it is - Sad Alien. It's inspired by a print framed in many houses in the 1970s, The Crying Boy. It's the saddest painting I've ever done. The reason is off-frame: the #alien is looking at a world destroyed by its own people. Our world.

Digital painting of a Sad Alien by Xander Hinkinson, in muted pastel shades of green, blue, brown and yellow.

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χαƞδεʀ / xph therapy @xphtherapy.com · 19/01/2025

Good morning from Ringo. As far as he's concerned, it's a good day as it's already had bugs in it. Not so good a day for the bugs themselves, though. Obviously. #beardeddragon

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