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xarph

@xar.ph
432 followers 1.1K following 4.9K posts

pfp @skullbunnygalaxy.bsky.social boring cis dude he/him

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xarph @xar.ph · 27/09/2026
westcoastcars
1,725
Per seller" not intended for drag racing". Is it street legal?Hand on shoulder anime meme
000
xarph @xar.ph · 27/09/2026
The autism bonding experience of people coming up to the filament vending machine in micro center, discovering that all the chips were in a big unsorted bucket, and three of us spontaneously organizing a sorting party without speaking.
A pile of filament sample chips sorted by type
050
xarph @xar.ph · 26/09/2026
Last for now (might post more later if anyone cares): the most 70s neurodivergent thing not involving model trains. An attempt at a unified theory of star navigation and velocity based entirely on the futuristic spaceship commands told to Sulu at the start of episodes aired out of order.
TM379260-2
STAR FLEET TECHNICAL ORDER
AUTHENTICATED STARDATE 7305.14
VELOCITY TIME RELATIONSHIP
INTERSTELLAR SPACE/WARP TECHNOLOGY
TO:02:06:20
CIVIL SPACENAS
BEAM ROSS
SUB-WARP SPEED GRID ASSUMES ATTAINMENT OF VEC IN I SECOND
= 299,781 KILOMETERS PER SECOND
MAX. SAFE CRUISE SPEED = W,6 = 64,752,696 K.P.S. = | PC/136.8 HRS (T)
EMERGENCY SPEED = W+8 = 153,487,872 K.P.S. = I PC/5.56 HOURS (T)
ZERO TIME REFERENCE
C = SPEED OF LIGHT
WARP FACTOR O
GALACTIC TINE
BASE PULSE
W, ×C
IMPULSE POWER
OUTPUT
SHIPS
HELM CONTRO
RESPONSE
FACTOR
30
40
50
GATION
LE STATIONS
IP'S NAVIBATION
HEREAFTER IT
WHERE:
T = REAL TIME (TERRESTIAL)
V = SUB-LIGHT VELOCITY
E = MC 2
T = IMAGINARY NEGATIVE TIME
V = IMAGINARY NEGATIVE VELOCITYTM379260-8
AUTHENTICATEO STARDATE 7502.06
STANDARD ORBITS
CLASS I STARSHIPS
TO:02:06:30
CLASS M
PLANETARY BODY
R =R+./74RRY=R+.376R
R = RADIUS OF BODY = KM.
N = NADIR
Za ZENITH
D- MINIMUM ZEROKNOWN GALACTIC REGION
UFP TREATY EXPLORATION TERRITORY
THIS IS A NEGATIVE PRINT
KLINGON?•
IN GALACTIC LONG COORDINATE PLANE L,L'
KLINGON
EMPIRE
(INTERNAL ARRANGEMENT UNKNOWN)
ZON
100°
U.S.S FARRAGUT •
LOST
STAA
HENTIC
VIEWED DOWN ON GALACT
COORDIN
U.S.S CONSTELLATION
• LOST
17
THOLIA
•U.S.S VALIANT
LOST
ออีนกอ
390°
8
i
'ES GOTHOS
is
STARBASES
4。
RIGE
STARBASES
14
U.S.S INTREPID.
LOST
CESTUS II
GORNS
300°
ANTARES
DENEB
UFP NEGOTIATED
EXPLORATION BOUNDARY
4750 PC)
THIS ARM IS
UNEXPLORED
4750 PC
RADIUS
FIRST FEDERATION
DOUB
ARE
380°
ROMULAN
STAR EMPIRE (IA.U)
2000
ARMS COMPRISED OF POPULATION I STARS
Error
Found in
Scale,
corrected 1/2/76
POPULATION I STARS IN
CORONA & VOID SPACE
110
xarph @xar.ph · 26/09/2026
Finally, the overboard sections. First, the articles of federation and the peace treaty with the Romulan Star Empire extrapolated to their full length based on one or two lines of exposition from Kirk and Spock. The federation one is like 12 pages.
ARTICLES OF FEDERATION
WE THE INTELLIGENT LIFE-FORMS OF THE
TO SAVE SUCCEEDING GENERATIONS FROM THE SCOURGE OF INTRA-GALACTIC WAR WHICH HAS BROUGHT UNTOLD HORROR AND SUFFERING TO OUR PLANETARY SOCIAL SYSTEMS, AND
THE DIGNITY AND WORTH OF THE INTELLIGENT LIFE-FORM PERSON, TO THE RIGHTS OF MALE AND FEMALE AND OF PLANETARY SOCIAL SYSTEMS LARGE AND SMALL, AND
TO ESTABLISH CONDITIONS UNDER WHICH JUSTICE AND MUTUAL RESPECT FOR THE OBLIGATIONS ARISING FROM TREATIES AND OTHER SOURCES OF INTERPLANETARY LAW CAN BE MAINTAINED, AND
TO PROMOTE SOCIAL PROGRESS AND BETTER STANDARDS OF LIFE IN LARGER FREEDOM,
AND TO THESE ENDS
TO PRACTISE BENEVOLENT TOLERANCE AND LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE WITH ONE ANOTHER AS GOOD NEIGHBORS, AND
AND
TO ENSURE BY THE ACCEPTANCE OF PRINCIPLES AND THE INSTITUTION OF METHODS
TO EMPLOY INTRA-GALACTIC MACHINERY FOR THE PROMOTION OF THE ECONOMIC
TO ACCOMPLISH THESE AIMS.
ASSEMBLED ON THE PLANET BABEL, WHO HAVE EXHIBITED THEIR FULL POWERS TO
BE IN GOOD AND DUE FORM, HAVE AGREED TO THESE ARTICLES OF FEDERATION OF PLANETARY ORGANIZATION TO BE KNOWN AS THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS.
CHAPTER I
PURPOSES AND PRINCIPLES
ARTICLE 1
TO MAINTAIN INTERPLANETARY PEACE AND SECURITY WITHIN THE TREATY EXPLORA-
TION TERRITORY, AND TO THAT END:
TO TAKE EFFECTIVE COLLECTIVE MEASURES FOR
THE PREVENTION OF THREATS TO THE PEACE, THE SUPPRESSION OF ACTS OF AGGRES-SION, AND TO BRING ABOUT BY PEACEFUL MEANS, AND EMPLOYING THE PRINCIPLES OF JUSTICE AND INTRA-GALACTIC LAW, ADJUSTMENT OR SETTLEMENT OF INTERPLANETARY DISPUTES WHICH MIGHT LEAD TO A BREACH OF THE PEACE;
TO DEVELOP FRIENDLY RELATIONS AMONG PLANETS BASED ON RESPECT FOR THE PRINCIPLES OF EQUAL RIGHTS AND SELF-DETERMINATION OF INTELLIGENT LIFE-FORMS,
TO ACHIEVE INTERPLANETARY COOPERATION IN SOLVING INTRA-GALACTIC PROBLEMS
FREEDOMS FOR ALL WITHOUT DISTINCTION AS TO CULTURE, SEX, LIFE-FORM, ORTREATY OF PEACE
BETWEEN THE ROMULAN STAR EMPIRE AND THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS
PART THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS HAVING BEEN NEGOTIATED AND AGREED TO BE
一
FEDERATION OF PLANETS MUTUALLY PLEDGE TO EACH OTHER THEIR SOLEMN
EFFECTIVE STARDATE 1200.5;
PART BETWEEN THE ADJACENT TERRITORIAL BOUNDARIES OF THE TWO PARTIES THERE IS ESTABLISHED A NEUTRAL ZONE, SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY
ING TO THE OUTER BOUNDARY OF THE GALAXY IN THE VERTICAL PLANE;
INTRUDED INTO THIS ZONE.
THE ROMULAN STAR EMPIRE AND THE UNITED
FEDERATION OF PLANETS MUTUALLY PLEDGE TO EACH OTHER TO FAITHFULLY MAINTAIN THE NEUTRALITY OF THIS ZONE THEREAFTER;
PART
IV
ANY INTRUSION WHATSOEVER BY ANY PERSON OR FACILITY IDENTIFIABLE WITH EITHER PARTY INTO THIS NEUTRAL ZONE SHALL BE CONSIDERED TO BE A HOSTILE ACTION AND BREACH OF THIS PEACE.
IN SUCH EVENT AN
IMMEDIATE STATE OF WAR SHALL BE DECLARED TO EXIST BETWEEN THE
ONLY WHERE:
PART SUCH INTRUSION BY ANY PERSON OR FACILITY IDENTIFIABLE WITH EITHER
OF CONDITIONS BEYOND THE CONTROL OF THAT PERSON OR THAT FACILITY AND DID, IN FACT, OCCUR WITHOUT HOSTILE INTENT;
PART TO THIS END, AND FOR PURPOSES OF MUTUAL MAINTENANCE OF THIS TREATY VI OF PEACE AND THIS NEUTRAL ZONE, THE ROMULAN STAR EMPIRE AND THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS AGREE TO KEEP OPEN AND MAINTAIN A
PRAETOR OF THE ROMULAN STAR EMPIRE WITH FULL POWERS TO EXECUTE THIS TREATY ON BEHALF OF THE EMPIRE;
PART I, CRISTOFUR THORPE, HAVING READ THE TERMS OF THIS TREATY VERBATIM VIII
GOVERNOR OF THE FEDERATION COUNCIL OF THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS WITH FULL POWERS TO EXECUTE THIS TREATY ON BEHALF OF THIS
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xarph @xar.ph · 26/09/2026
"Constitution class" wasn't a thing yet so the Enterprise type vessel was just Class 1 Heavy Cruiser which I think was a throwaway line at some point.
A diagram of NCC-1700, presumably the enterprise's sister ship, labeled as a class 1 heavy cruiser.
110
xarph @xar.ph · 26/09/2026
If you wanted to go to a con wearing a TOS miniskirt, this is the pattern as painstakingly figured out from still promotional photos. Also insignia, which was hard to make out on 70s TV.
A uniform pattern for a TOS miniskirt. TM:379260-1
STAR FLEET TECHNICAL ORDER
AUTHENTICATED STARDATE 7304.20
INSIGNIA AND RANK
STAR FLEET ARMED FORCES
DIVISION INSIGNIA:
TO:01:03:00
ACTUAL
COMMAND
OFFICER GRADES:
SCIENCES
ENGINEERING AND
SUPPORT SERVICES
11 CM
LIEUT.
ENSIGN HAS NO STRIPE
LIEUTENANT COMMANDER

COMMANDER
HS CENTIMETERS
CAPTAIN
COLORS:
COMMODORE

ADMIRAL
GOLD N°SF03UC
SEE UNIFORM T.O.
BLACK N° SF 32UC
RANK STRIPES WORN ON DUTY UNIFORM ONLY AND ARE LOCATED ABOVE CUFF OF EACH SLEEVE
110
xarph @xar.ph · 26/09/2026
Start off with the tip of the iceberg; the off-centered Enterprise bridge which is the only way the VFX shot at the start of The Cage makes sense. Also a floor plan of an Enterprise stateroom.
TM1379260-1
STAR FLEET TECHNICAL ORDER
AUTHENTICATED STARDATE 7409.0
TO:01:06:10
MAIN BRIDGE
DECK 1 PLAN - PRIMARY HULL-CLASS | STARSHIPSSINGLE STATEROOM
PRIMARY HULL - CLASS I STARSHIPS
TYPICAL OFFICERS ACCOMMODATIONS
VANITY LAVATORY
BATHROOM (SHARED)
TRANSLUCENT STALL-
WATER CLOSET-
LOUNGE CHAIR
WAINSCOTE CABINET
STD. TWIN SIZE BED
DECORATIVE GRILLE
ROOM DIVIDER
CHAIR
WARDROBE
DESK
WAINSCOTE CABINET
PD
PD - DOUBLE POCKET DOORS
TO:01:05:82
SHOWER/TUB WITH JACUZZI UNIT
TRANSLUCENT
STALL
SLEEPING QUARTERS
MAIN
CORRIDOR
HERE
- LIVING QUARTERS
SHIP'S SERVICES
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xarph @xar.ph · 26/09/2026
"Autism didn't exist until the 90s" here's a book published by Ballantine, in 1975, that's everything known about the world of Star Trek. Fully reverse engineered from syndicated reruns on fuzzy UHF before consumer VCRs were a thing that existed. Alt text will be spotty; it's mostly just blueprints.
STAR FLEET
TECHNICAL MANUAL
TM: 379260
STAR FLEET HEADQUARTERS
UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS
FRANZ JOSEPH
UNITED FEDERATION REPRESENTATIVE
STAR FLEET COMMAND
120
xarph @xar.ph · 21/09/2026
@seananmcguire.bsky.social Spotted you on the library best of wall today, in good company!
Silver and Lead on a wall at a library between When We Were Real by Daryl Gregory, Down jn the Sea of Angels by Khan Wong
000
xarph @xar.ph · 21/09/2026
Rusty was a great cat, he passed not long after
A giant fluffy orb like orange cat named rusty
020
xarph @xar.ph · 19/09/2026
I'm sensing the possibility of a cursed oroborous here
Costco selling $100 in doordash gift cards for $80
030
xarph @xar.ph · 16/09/2026
traveller.gif
gunshowcomic.com

THE WIZARD'S SHOTGUN

Wizard: I swore I left my shotgun here. 
Oh well, I'll make 5000 more and just leave them lyin' around!

WIZARDS:
NO SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG
000
xarph @xar.ph · 15/09/2026
A photo of elizabeth warren staffers watching jacob wohl's press conference on a laptop where he accuses warren of having a torrid bdsm sex affair with a young marine. Many people are smiling. A woman is doing a spit take with coffee. A woman appears to be praising god. The woman closest to the laptop looks like she just received the most dramatic news of her life.
010
xarph @xar.ph · 15/09/2026
The 2016-pandemic era when anderson/rabin/wakeman and howe/davidson/downes/white/sherwood were both touring was really the "holy shit two cakes" meme
THE ARTIST
aw man, hat guy's cake is way better than mine
THE AUDIENCE
HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!
110
xarph @xar.ph · 10/09/2026
This op-ed is written by a lobbyist for a defense consultancy fyi. Not even a defense contractor but a consultant for defense contractors. Somehow that's worse. dcode.co/about
281
xarph @xar.ph · 09/09/2026
Total banger this month; I just finished the 150 page 1995 cd rom preview issue of CGW
$3.95
$4.95 Canadian

Spelljammer • Star Control 2 • Car & Driver
COMPUTER GAMING WORLD
The Premier Computer Game Magazine
Spectrum HoloByte's
The Iron Helix

Also in this issue:
Battles of Destiny
Three New Football Games
Comanche: Maximum Overkill
Crusaders of the Dark Savant Hints
1192
xarph @xar.ph · 03/09/2026
Help it's again
A mock o'reilly book cover titled OpenSSL Time Bombs: Damning Your Descendants. The author is "Some Guy, 10 Years Ago." The blurb is "why would we ever need to revoke it?"
031
xarph @xar.ph · 02/09/2026
I am challenging old apple snow leopard olds to verify that you still have the special AA enerloops that came with the apple wireless keyboard and to see if they still work
A battery tester with a AA battery in it. It reads 1.29V. The battery has a silver colored wrapper with the sole markings being +, -, and the word Rechargeable.
000
xarph @xar.ph · 01/09/2026
Specifically this runout bar code here.
A close up shot of the underside of an xbox disc with a portion of barcode circled.
010
xarph @xar.ph · 01/09/2026
Pc optical drives can't read the per disc serial number pressed into the runout without custom firmware, so it's unlikely. This system is using xbox one controlled trading program that they had to abandon after the disastrous rollout at E3 and has been dormant until now.
A photo of the underside of an xbox one disc showing a barcode, serial number, and other 2d encoded data in the runout of the disc.
100
xarph @xar.ph · 31/08/2026
Marching Along with the
PHILIPPINE BRASS BAND
000
xarph @xar.ph · 31/08/2026
QUIET NIGHTS
* BRAZILIAN GUITARS
GUITARS UNLIMITED
100
xarph @xar.ph · 31/08/2026
DEMASIADO CALIENTE
CAL TJADER
100
xarph @xar.ph · 31/08/2026
THE 50 GUITARS
Return To Paradise

THE 50 GUITARS OF TOMMY GARRETT
100
xarph @xar.ph · 22/08/2026
Five years ago today Disney issued the damnatio memorae for gina carano, and all the star wars digital products received an update the same day that removed her likeness wherever possible, even the ones not run by disney like the topps card trader app.
Splash screen for star wars card trader showing baby yoda, gina carano, and the mandalorianSame splash screen with ming-na wen replacing gina carano.
000
xarph @xar.ph · 22/08/2026
Derek Smart Says Fuck You Day
Friday, Aug 22, 1997
All-day
Repeats yearly
020
xarph @xar.ph · 21/08/2026
Got a reddit ad that's literally the plot of a 1975 novel
What if you could change your identity every day?


You can now with CapeJOHN BRUNNER

SHOCKWAVE
RIDER

Shockwave Rider, by John Brunner, UK, 1975

British science fiction author Brunner's influential cyberpunk-like novel made prescient predictions about computer networks, including the existence of destructive worms. In the book, privacy and liberties are initially stifled by an all-pervasive network.
010
xarph @xar.ph · 20/08/2026
The Wallaroo app by iconfactory is holding out; even if this thread reminding me to reinstall it led to it being sandwiched between ads for two casino apps
Apple app store screenshot showing the wallaroo app sandwiched between two ads for casino apps promising cash payputs.
000
xarph @xar.ph · 18/08/2026
archive.org/details/Scry...
Charizard
F 31.75
20.00
14.25
100
xarph @xar.ph · 18/08/2026
Giving tcg collectors heart attacks is why I started buying and scanning ancient issues of Scrye magazine. archive.org/details/Scry...
Berserk
G
Ins U

$3.00
$2.00
$1.81
False Orders
Birds of Paradise
G
Sum R

$9.25
$5.50
$4.13
Farmstead
Black Knight
B
Sum U

$4.00
$3.00
$2.25
Fastbond
Black Lotus


MR $22.50

$15.00
$9.75
Fear
Black Vise
A
CU

$3.00
$2.50
$1.80
Feedback
Black Ward
W
ECr U

$2.00
$1.50
$1.00
Fire Elemental
121
xarph @xar.ph · 11/08/2026
This poster fucks
The Great HAGENBECK-WALLACE CIRCUS
GIANT TRAINS OF STEEL THUNDERING THROUGH the DAWN
BRINGING TO YOU ALL THAT IS GREAT in the AMUSEMENT WORLD
0253
xarph @xar.ph · 09/08/2026
I see Target has decided to increase store traffic by leaning into homicides and fistfights.
A row of empty shelves at Target advertising "drops" for Topps, Pokemon, and Entertainment.
030
xarph @xar.ph · 04/08/2026
000
xarph @xar.ph · 30/07/2026
010
xarph @xar.ph · 26/07/2026
No notes. @drewmagary.bsky.social
AIYUK
$129.99
(See price in cart)
100
xarph @xar.ph · 26/07/2026

I won't even stop by when I'm headed to Stan's
1d
Reply
Martin A
Stan's in king
Reply
3
moeiknow
Team Stan's here.
21h Reply
4
D.A.
You might start looking for a more suitable location when this one goes out of business.
17h
Reply
-
Candiss
Stan's donuts all the way! No doubt
140
10h
Reply
Add comment...
a
000
xarph @xar.ph · 26/07/2026
There's a legendary donut place in santa clara called Stan's Donut Shop. Been in the same place since 1955. My grandpa got coffee and donuts there for 20 years straight. Randy's Donuts from LA is opening across the street. I don't think they understand the amount of hostility they unleashed.
21:07
coming to santa clara
This Summer!
Andy Robles
Stan's mafia going to burn your house down....
Hahaha I'm playing best of luck
2h Reply
JaneDFong
I STANd with Stan's!
2h
Reply
• View 1 reply v
rigamorte
Stan's
14h Reply
- View 2 replies v
13
Sylvie0711
Who are you going to send over to Stan's to see how good their donuts are?
2h
Reply
Add comment...
a
110
xarph @xar.ph · 22/07/2026
Quibi apps arrive on Apple TV, Android TV, and Fire TV, but are they too late?
The Verge • 16 hours ago
Quibi might get shut down soon
The Verge • 1 hour ago
Quibi is shutting down
The Verge • 15 mins ago
070
xarph @xar.ph · 21/07/2026
The golden state valkyries invented telepathy in 2026 #wnba
010
xarph @xar.ph · 17/07/2026
I have been laughing at this ad for a soldering iron for five minutes.
140
xarph @xar.ph · 09/07/2026
"Fall Tilling" by Warren Chang. An oil painting of migrant workers. It looks like it is from the 19th century or early 20th century, until you realize the workers are wearing hoodies and one is talking on a cell phone.
041
xarph @xar.ph · 07/07/2026
This screenshot from @theverge.com on one fateful day gets so much use, including today's saga out of maine.
Quibi apps arrive on Apple TV, Android TV, and Fire TV, but are they too late?
The Verge • 16 hours ago
Quibi might get shut down soon
The Verge • 1 hour ago
Quibi is shutting down
The Verge • 15 mins ago
020
xarph @xar.ph · 06/07/2026
John Brunner did the Torment Nexus thing to prediction markets in 1975.
The Shockwave Rider by John Brunner
020
xarph @xar.ph · 05/07/2026
This game aged depressingly well
Opening scroll of Metal Wolf Chaos, saying "by the end of the first quarter of the 21st century, freedom was dead in America."
000
xarph @xar.ph · 05/07/2026
I only respect one fourth of July celebration
METAL WOLF CHAOS XDBelieve in your own justice!
000
xarph @xar.ph · 03/07/2026
Show me a cool physical game
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE SERPENTWAR SAGA RAYMOND E. FEIST
Free CD-ROM game and demo inside!

Krondor the Betrayal
Book one of the Riftwar legacy
010
xarph @xar.ph · 02/07/2026
Time to see what this month's @gamehistoryorg.bsky.social mag is! Someone should make a graph of number of booby ladies per game magazine over time, I think it would peak at 2002.
000
xarph @xar.ph · 28/06/2026
We must do something about proliferation or someone is goimg to show up with 1000 guitars before we know it
Album cover:
THE 50 GUITARS
Return To Paradise
Pearly Shells
Quiet Village
Beyond The Reef
Return To Paradise
Ebb Tide
Soft Sands
Bali Ha'i
Red Sails In The Sunset
Off Shore
South Sea Trade Winds
Flamingo
Enchanted Island
PREMIER
THE 50 GUITARS OF TOMMY GARRETT
010
xarph @xar.ph · 20/06/2026
31:52
You have to show that you told your lawyer all the relevant facts to the analysis.
Your clients always do that?
Oh, Jesus Christ, Josh.
000
xarph @xar.ph · 18/06/2026
What recession indicator is this
Sign at costco:

1943308
PAMP 1 OZ GOLD BAR
LIMIT OF 5
NO RETURNS
4389.99
020