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Wyly O'Brien

@wylyo.bsky.social
782 followers 627 following 415 posts

To whom do I speak about getting THE INTERNET summarized in a 15-minute YouTube video? While waiting for that tutorial, I’m stabbing at my keyboard. My husband of 35+ years is next to me, kvetching about how all the streaming service menus are different.

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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 21h
Can we all agree that the news is just background noise until somebody says, "And at the zoo today..." at which time we give our full attention to what the fluff ever is being featured.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Do I need more cotton t-shirts? Most decidedly not. Do I reach for my credit card every time a clever/cute/snarky/beautiful shirt appears in my feed? Absolutely I do.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Who remembers their favorite shirt from where they were a kid? My shirt memory has popped into my head randomly over the years. It always makes me shake my head to think that I didn't save it... for what purpose, I'm not sure... Alas, my K-Mart shirt is lost forever!
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Here are the approval ratings from my household: Coffee making |----------90%---| Morning attitude |--20%-----------| Lawn mowing |------------92%-| Fiscal responsibility |---------80%----| Charm/likeability |---------76%----| Sample size: 2 Margin of error: +/- 1
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
In this house, we obey the laws of Magical Theory. Please bring me my warming cloak and my life-giving morning elixir. But be careful with the spoon - it's sentient and sensitive to too many revolutions in the cup. Now go away, so I can practice my spells. Quietus Solitudinum
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
To Mike Krukow: It will never be the same without you. I know baseball because of you and the broadcast team. And while I love Dwayne, Jon, Dave, Hunter, et al. and while they are knowledgeable and entertaining, your absence will leave a permanent hole in the SFG organization. Go Giants!
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Listen, I'm not saying the cold bothers me, necessarily. But if I'm living in an ice castle, I'm gonna need an extensive selection of under-layers, fleece-lined stretch pants, hoodies of various weights, and coordinating UGGs. Don't come at me with a gossamer dress and open-toed shoes.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Here at the DOWE (Dept of Wyly Efficiency), we've cut all unnecessary products/practices. Examples: * Ruffles chips -> generic chips -> looking at pictures of chips * Restaurant -> $5 menu -> plain buttered pasta * Kindle books -> on sale only -> Goodwill $1 bin You're welcome for my sacrifice.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Today's plan: Sit on porch Enjoy lower temps/humidity Do some writing Eat half a bag of Pirate's Booty Ignore email/texts/socials Keep sitting on porch Get up only to eat or go to the bathroom Only realize the time when the light dims and the frogs start to sing
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Pink Clouding 9-to-5 today. 🩷☁️🦋
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Tough day today, so I'll just say, "Thank you, Interwebs, for all the cat videos."
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
A vacation? Sounds great! Can I bring my own blanket and pillow? The ones in the hotel are so uncomfortable. Oh, and I need to pack my coffee maker and creamer and syrups, 'cause they never can get it right. Also, I'll need to take my shower head... because hotel water pressure, am I right?
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Bye, Summer!!!! Don't let the oppressive heat hit you in the ass on the way out!!!
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
When I was a back-of-the-pack runner, non-runners would ask, "How many races have you won?" Now, as a self-publisher author, non-writers ask, "How many books have you sold?" We like to think we're dialed into the "journey, not the destination" mindset, but questions like these prove otherwise.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I can't believe Disney hasn't called to discuss "Inside Out 3," where Anxiety,Ennui,Embarrassment,& Nostalgia brutally murder Joy and force Sadness,Anger,& Disgust to destroy all happy core memories, leaving only bitterness and Gen X's most annoying earworm "Well, we're living here in Allentown."
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Find all the f*cks I have to give in this picture.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Given the amount of words I've eaten over my life, I should be full and humble. * I don't need a skin care regimen * I hate winter; I'll always love summer * I'll be a runner to my dying day * I won't get addicted to my screens * My husband will never have a dad bod and will always bring me flowers
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Some mornings, I feel like I'm in the latest installment in the "Grumpy Old Men" franchise.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Celebrity in an accident: On the news, flown to hosp, immediate surgery, update to talk about resilience, strength, when they'll be "back at it" Reality: they get the very best surgeons, doctors, treatments, meds, therapy, in-home follow-up, $0 bills (or bills they can easily pay) THAT is the news.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I wish I had recognized my introversion much sooner. Wait. I wish others had recognized it. That kid playing by herself, reading quietly in the corner, studying in the back of the room? You don't need to fix her, draw her out. If you try, she'll grow up wondering why she's always uncomfortable.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I can't move. But don't tell Bruno. It would break his heart if he found out.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Watching The Sopranos and realizing how much food they ate. Especially Gandolfini! Shout out to the food stylists and continuity editors who had to keep ziti on Tony's plate!
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
My hospitality rider: * a fluffy (but light weight) robe * a deep, soft leather chair with a footstool at the perfect height * an interesting view or a piece of artwork * a cat who lays around and slow-blinks and flips his tail * a medium-size dog who is happy to see everyone and annoys the cat
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Read the names, ring the bells. Always remember what it means to be kind, brave, and free to pursue happiness.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My midterm promises. If re-elected as the President of my Life, I promise to: * eliminate "what's for dinner?" anxiety * practice my creative skills every day * give each person $5,000 and other unrealistic pledges
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Hats off to the Rock of Ages casting director who called Tom Cruise's agent and said, "Hey, we've got this rock star part - strung out, leather pants, fur coat, Def Leppard rock anthem cover. Is Tom available?" Mission: Impossible? Top Gun? Sure. Those were good. But Stacee Jaxx forever!!
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
@thisone0verhere.bsky.social OK, seriously, who are the producers and studio heads on BlueSky who can greenlight this idea NOW?
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Coffee. That is all.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Raise your hand if you've already stubbornly worn your favorite fall hoodie, even though it's still 80+ degrees outside. 🤚
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Nothing stirs my anxiety like a "Working Dog - Do Not Pet" harness.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
"Meow meow meow meow meow meow!" --Henrietta Pussycat Preach.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Having spent a good portion of the overnight hours over-thinking every statement I've ever made and every act I've ever committed, I'm ready to head into the day to say and do more stupid shit that will keep me up on another random night in the future.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
My morning routine can be accurately described using the evolution of life on earth graphic - swim in dreams, crawl out of bed, grumpy and roaring at everyone, then coffee gradually pulls me upright and able to form cogent thoughts
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
ring bell, treat, ring bell, treat, ring bell, salivate, treat? everybody clap your hands - clap clap clap clap clap roman empire-fall, ottoman empire-fall, german dictator-dead so if there's a treat involved or a game on the line, we can be taught? but if freedom is at stake, we're clueless?
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
So excited for Halloween, but already having pre-anxiety about the pressures of Thanksgiving dinner.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
My boss told me I needed to "get my batting average up," thinking he'd assert his masculinity with a sports reference. I responded with: "I'm at batting practice every day. I show up for every game. I catch every fly ball in my vicinity. I have zero errors. I'm not here to please the statistician."
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I miss salad.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Today, I have to run errands and do things. All I really want to do is sit on the porch and listen to a mash-up of Dolly and Rocky Horror.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Don't get strung out by the way I look. Don't judge me by the cover, 'cause I'm a real good book. Tim and Dolly are currently having tea and discussing their favorite hair and make-up tips.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
3 plastic lawn chairs, an end table, an unboxed IKEA shoe rack, 2 area rugs, and 4 boxes of accumulated anxiety. My basement is getting cluttered. Will Goodwill take my box of worries and fears?
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
I think I'll go for a run. And by "go for a run" I mean: have a donut and a second cup of coffee and surf socials for Strava posts.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Some days, I'm Harry. Other days, I'm more Draco. This morning, I woke up sulking and whining, so I guess it's a Moaning Myrtle day.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Day 92,343: I have been asked once again "what's for dinner?" And yet again, I have somehow conjured a morsel for our mouths. Many times recently, I have snapped, "Fend for yourself." Lord, grant me the patience to endure the relentless expectation that is dinner.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
To all the white chickens: I humbly apologize for the stereotype I have imposed on you since my childhood. I realize now that not all chickens bok the William Tell Overture in perfect harmony. Regards to Camilla and her friends. Respectfully, Wyly
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Hey, how about before we get too far down the path of having AI solve new or made-up problems, we work on how to update the policies and processes around mail advertising, junk mail, and opt-in mailing lists. A good portion of the pressure on our USPS resources could be alleviated. Just saying...
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
NOTICE! If you see me at the grocery store or the post office, just know that I likely am still in the clothes I slept in and probably can't remember how I got there. You have been warned.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Today's plan: Just make it through to the other side and try not to melt from the oppressive heat or from the depressing headlines.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Appliance improvement idea #2: If the door(s) on the fridge are wide open or if motion is detected, then don't ding at me incessantly. I KNOW they're open. Maybe ding once after 3 minutes. Insistent dinging is only warranted when the door(s) is only slightly ajar. Don't start with me today, Fridge.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Sweating like some sort of farm animal here in Dorne. Looking for a Travelocity deal on a flight to the Wall. I'll take my chances with the White Walkers.
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Wyly O'Brien @wylyo.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Some days, I'm just barreling down the runway with blown tires and smoke billowing from my brain. "Tower, we're having a problem, but I think we'll be ok once we get up." "10-4, O'Brien Air. Good luck fixing your issues. Try not to crash and burn."
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