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Wilder Newyear

@wildernewyear.bsky.social
263 followers 189 following 3.6K posts

He/Him. Everyone's seventh or eighth favorite Waukegan resident. I do something with business software for a living, and write for Commander's Herald too. Expect Wrestling, Magic: the Gathering, and Chicago Sports. I'm not the Thai BL Drama actor

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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 4h
AppLovin, the company that makes those obnoxious mobile game ads, is running ads during this morning’s NFL game. It’s hard to beat the insurance industry in the “isn’t having enough money to advertise that much a bad thing?” race, but I give them credit for having the moxie to try.
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 22h
"You’re basically playing on autopilot, always picking the same spells over and over, and I can’t see how that would be fun. Plus the whole time she was playing the deck she narrated what she was doing and grunting when making plays, it was really off-putting.”
commandersherald.com
Commander Pod Upset Player's Wolverine Deck Plays Itself | Commander's Herald
Toledo, OH – Local game store Brain Games hosts a weekly Commander night to encourage Magic: The Gathering players to congregate and test their Commanders against each other. However controversy has s...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Thinking back about Joey Ryan. One of the hottest wrestling acts in the indies, videos of him all around the world, even had a guest spot on GLOW. Then a bunch of sexual misconduct allegations came out about him in 2020, and all the fans agreed to boycott him and any company that signed him.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
And now, a brief message from my cat Leibniz.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Corollary: If they want AI to be considered sentient, it’s because they want to be able to own a person.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
[Checks last night’s football score] Well damn, guess I shouldn’t have started The Meteor in fantasy this week.
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
“We tried reaching out to customer service, but for some reason they were reluctant to help us gut their department like a fish. The best we got was a hand drawn Junk token of someone’s balls.”
commandersherald.com
Private Equity Firm That Bought Card Kingdom Still Hasn't Received Order | Commander's Herald
Citadel's last major acquisition before Card Kingdom was a company called Alchemy AI, two words all Magic players love to hear.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Speaking MTG ideas into the world: a Legacy/Vintage tournament where all the cards must be proxies, and decks are judged on style as well as performance.
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Pansy (Trying on a name) @sagegnosis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Hey so because of the upcoming job change I will not be getting paid for two weeks. I'm fine on rent & food but need help with medication for mental health and UC. Passing the cup around for $150 to stay well ko-fi.com/amandatnstev...
ko-fi.com
Buy Amanda Stevens a Coffee
Become a supporter of Amanda Stevens today!
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
From Abigale to Zuri, Magic has printed over 700 Legendary creatures this year with more on the way due to the upcoming Star Trek: Universes Beyond set.
commandersherald.com
Report: Legendary Creatures Printed in 2026 Outnumber Registered U.S. Voters | Commander's Herald
Washington, D.C. – Well-regarded polling organization Quinnipiac University released a startling report this week that the current number of Americans registered to vote in the upcoming midterm electi...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Well I’m certainly well rested today. (Stupid Cubs pitching)
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“I am a literal, self-avowed tyrant, yes,” said Samut. “My whole thing is that I go to a place and freeze everything there forever. I’m not certain that it counts as suffering, because from their perspective, they’re not moving at all.”
commandersherald.com
Echoverse Counterparts: "We Do In Fact Suffer" | Commander's Herald
Hexhaven Academy Tower — Recently, “The Theorist,” Jace Beleren, made the somewhat dubious claim that he has created, or is intending to create, a Multiverse without suffering. Given the extremely imp...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Between that Bears game last night and the Wild Card series in San Diego this week, the sleep schedule of myself and about half the Chicagoland area are completely fucked until further notice.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I don't understand how there can be any transphobia in the upper midwest. We've been assured for decades the ideal town was one where the women are strong, the men good looking, and the children above average.
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Benjamin Easter, Free Palestine @pighway.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Why didn’t they just defeat Jace with Slash Panther
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Aussies of BlueSky, I am at least vaguely aware the AFL Grand Final is later today/tonight. What does your game day food spread look like?
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“At our upcoming prerelease, rather than us giving you cards, you will bring your own from home. We’ll only allow cards printed within the last three years, let’s say, starting with Wilds of Eldraine."
commandersherald.com
After Supply Chain Issues, Reality Fracture Prerelease A "BYOC" Event | Commander's Herald
Duluth, MN – Due to shipping delays local game shop Rob’s Collectables and Geekery is worried they will not receive cards from Magic: the Gathering‘s upcoming set Reality Fracture even though the prer...
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Denny • Shin (シン) Grungler @dennywhere.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
#FreeBugs
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Extra Haunted Doll, Dana Lexa @authorx.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Another thing to remember on this bisexual day is that The Grungler is canonically bi. I do enjoy how it's become a term for "token cis guy who hangs out with a bunch of trans weirdos" but the original post was also about straight women being weird about bi men.
women will go on a 1st date with a guy and things will be going well until the guy casually mentions he's bi and she'll go home and start posting stuff like like 'we need to normalize being straight' and 'whatever happened to beauty' meanwhile the guy went home to play video games with a bunch of weird discord transsexuals and he named his character 'the grungler' and he keeps saying stuff like 'check it out guys, i'm the grungler'
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EEK! A Kiaayo! @kiaayomahkwa.itch.io · 23/09/2026
commandersherald.com/fans-argue-w... TRANS ALLEGORIES! GET'CHER TRANS ALLEGORIES HERE! 5 FOR A NICKEL!
commandersherald.com
Fans Argue Whether "Isn't She Lovely" Needledrop is for Tam or Emrakul | Commander's Herald
(Spoiler warnings for Reality Fracture’s story, but honestly at this point you should have read it anyway because it’s really damn good. Also some cartoon about a clown and a rabbit or something.) Sea...
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
“Our employees are our family, which means we’re legally obligated to feed them sometimes,” said TCGplayer executive George Penis. “They need all the help they can get. I mean, not from us, but from customers whose money we don’t have yet."
commandersherald.com
Wizards of the Coast & TCGplayer Host Charity Drive For Employees | Commander's Herald
"With your help, we raised thousands for charity." said Hasbro CEO Chris Cocks after dumping $1.3 million into creating an AI Mr. Potato Head.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Some days I’m glad I came up as an MTG Grinder in 2010. Trying to both win at the game and peacock my way into social media relevance would have killed me young.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tilly Norwood? If I wanted to see a completely soulless performance backed by shitty CGI, I could just watch Steven Baldwin in Final Fantasy: the Spirits Within.
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Sparky went nuts when I explained the mistake. It completely doubled down, saying my feeble human mind just wasn’t comprehending the true threat of carpenter bees."
commandersherald.com
AI Deck-builder Won't Stop Adding Counterplay for Carpenter Bees | Commander's Herald
A new AI deck-builder is facing backlash from Magic players, who say it is obsessed with preparing for one specific threat: carpenter bees.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Okay, there was something about the new Dack Fayden card I couldn't put my finger on before, but I think I've got it now.
The cover art for "Por Amor a Mi Pueblo" by Los Bukis, but singer Marco Antonio Solis has been replaced by the head of Dack Fayden.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Guillaume de l’Hôpital, eat your heart out.
The Magic: the Gathering card Multiply by Zero

1B Instant
Target creature has base power and toughness 0/0 until end of turn.The Magic: the Gathering card Divide by Zero

2U Instant
Return target spell or permanent with mana value 1 or greater to its owners hand.
Learn.
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
“If Mitch is a lich, then I think there are legitimate concerns over his grand plan and appropriate term limits. However, if Mitch is a zombie, brainless and controlled by outside malevolent forces, then that’s nothing new in the Senate and no cause for concern.”
commandersherald.com
McConnell's Return Sparks Debate: Is Mitch A Zombie Or A Lich? | Commander's Herald
Mitch McConnell's return from extended absence has sparked debates over whether the undead Senator should be considered a zombie or a lich.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Multiverse Yoshimaru only shares counters with other elites privileged enough to be considered Legendary like himself, while his Echoverse counterpart shares the wealth with those less fortunate, even if it will never benefit him. As such, we can conclude Jace taught him solidarity. In this essay I
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Scorigami @nflscorigami.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
🏈 CHI 59 - 37 CAR FINAL ✅ That's Scorigami!! It's the 1096th unique final score in NFL history.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I’m not sure I’m prepared to watch the Bears win 53-51 shootouts each week. #NFL
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
“The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade and Jim Crow Era? Never happened. All those West Africans just came over on their own one day for all the great jobs. Pre-Columbian civilization? Nope, Europeans were the first ones here. The pilgrims had Thanksgiving with themselves.”
commandersherald.com
U.S. Department of Education Hires The Theorist Jace Beleren to Remove "Bad Parts" From US History | Commander's Herald
WASHINGTON, DC — In a press conference earlier today, the United States Department of Education announced they would be hiring The Theorist, the fragment of Jace Beleren’s persona responsible for the ...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Today, I get to talk about possibly the most heinous and deplorable person in modern memory, and Jace Beleren is there too. My latest from the Commander's Herald: commandersherald.com/u-s-departme...
commandersherald.com
U.S. Department of Education Hires The Theorist Jace Beleren to Remove "Bad Parts" From US History | Commander's Herald
WASHINGTON, DC — In a press conference earlier today, the United States Department of Education announced they would be hiring The Theorist, the fragment of Jace Beleren’s persona responsible for the ...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
They Landlord-Painted the Kids Toys!
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
At press time, Niv-Mizzet was on his way to New York to give a speech at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum, but was forced to leave the city after ICE intervention.
commandersherald.com
Mamdani Visits Phyrexian Invasion Memorial in Show of Interplanar Solidarity | Commander's Herald
Tenth District, RAVNICA – New York City plane politician Zohran Mamdani, in a show of respect for his new friend the living guildpact Niv-Mizzet, took an omenpath to honor a newly-created memorial doc...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Tam, listen to me. You need to go to a plant called Kylem. When you get there, there will be a massive building in the middle called Valor’s Reach. I need you to go around the building and find the sports book. What you’ll do there is put $100 on the Jags over the Browns…
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Okay, I’ve got Netflix set up. Now, which team is the Freeport and which is Geelong? #NFL #NFLMelbourne
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
What followed was a 20 minute diatribe on how I’m anti-blue. How he was just doing what had to be done for the people he loved. In every scenario he was blameless, but it did not sound like he believed himself free of blame.
commandersherald.com
Reality Fracture Charlie Kirk Doesn't Have Hole In Neck | Commander's Herald
“The multiverse within my brain is more divided than ever,” Jace mumbles at me before wiping away a tear and continuing, “and the only person who understood that was gone.” The “man” known as The Theo...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Me, oblivious to any of the themes, emotions, or story beats of the chapter: "What do you mean 'Unwashed Rice'? I thought that stuff was clean out of the bag!"
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Commander's Herald @commanders-herald.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
"I believe my otherworldly powers can be used constructively, and I’d like to give back to the communities I’ve harmed. I may be unfathomable to the mortal mind, but I’m willing to respectfully engage in mortal politics.”
commandersherald.com
Emrakul Seeks Parole Hearing After 10 Years in Moon | Commander's Herald
INNISTRAD – Emrakul, the Eldrazi titan responsible for invading Innistrad, Zendikar, and some amount of planes we can’t list because they now never existed, released a statement this week confirming h...
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
To all my followers, I am proud to announce on this day: FOOTBALL!
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Stick ‘em up!
A black and white cat lays on top of the headrest of a brown recliner. Focus of the shot is on a single outstretched paw.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Ever the optimist, I’m choosing to believe Echoverse Mowu was the one that sparked, and he’s currently chasing Chatterfang around a field somewhere.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Putting together two of todays big reveals into one.
A copy of the Magic: the Gathering Card Restore with Empathy, however the art has been replaced with a screenshot of the upcoming Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake where a child Link is seen chest deep in water, holding a blue rupee above his head. The flavor text has been altered to read:
"Garruk looked at the young, scared boy from Hyrule. 'I have also begun anew,' he rumbled."
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Millenials: "Why the hell did we learn to play Hot Cross Buns on a recorder. Who'd want that?" Nintendo: "Here's our new app that allows you to play Hot Cross Buns on a digital recorder."
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I’m sorry, but you can’t have “Two Story Clobberin’ Jace” and “Jace being assured he can choose who he is” in the same story without me evoking my childhood. #MTGStory
All Vraska sees is fury. Her double smiles, and with a graze of one perfectly manicured nail, the statue at her side rises, and she along with it. It is Jace as the Theorist, twice as tall as the real one, charging toward Vraska and shaking the ground with each step. The other Vraska holds on to the side of his cloak with a careful grip, calling out, "How do you want them, sir?"

Subdued, says a voice that echoes through Vraska's mind. She snarls and lets her gaze carry as she runs, trying to catch the eyes of her double. The gap closes, and Vraska pulls out her knives, but the statue is too large, too fast. It grabs her around the middle and slams her to the ground. All the air whooshes from Vraska's lungs, and she's picked up again by the statue's unmoving grip.He opens his mouth to speak, but she pulls him close for a tight and violent hug. He exhales with the impact, and she digs her nails onto the oilcloth of his coat.

“You are no monster,” she says with gritted teeth. “We are who we choose to be.”A screenshot from the movie “Iron Giant”, with a close up on the titular giant saying “I am not a gun.”
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Apropos of nothing, here’s a 1954 segment from the Jack Benny Program that lambasts a song we probably remember from 1990 They Might Be Giants. Happy Sunday. youtu.be/e4s_xTlpnHU?...
youtu.be
1954 Jack Benny & Frank Nelson - Istanbul, Not Constantinople (radio Feb 21, 1954)
YouTube video by The45Prof
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Command Zoe🔜PAX Unplugged @commandzoe.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
BREAKING! WotC Accidentally Announces Secret Lair: Pauper Horizons
WotC Accidentally Announces Secret Lair: Pauper Horizons
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Misreading “influential” as “under the influence” and double-barreling Vape Pens while I shotgun an Old Style.
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Every MTG story: Garruk: Gonna fight Jace. Everyone: Dude your brain is literally made of neurons. Garruk: Gonna fuck him up. -later- Garruk: AH MY BRAIN
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Wilder Newyear @wildernewyear.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I appreciate that Ajani and I share the same Tall Guy mindset of “but what if I could pick them up like a baby?”
“Ever since he messed with my head, I can sense him,” Chandra says. “But he feels like he’s not all here. That, or really small.”

“A small Jace Beleren,” Ajani muses. “Wouldn’t that be something?”
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