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Craig Church

@whatcraigwrote.com
443 followers 350 following 594 posts

He/him. Overactive imagination since '87. Helping make movies at ILM. Portland Trail Blazers and Golden State Valkyries enjoyer. Short fiction in Cast of Wonders, Escape Pod, and more. visualpostcard.cc whatcraigwrote.com letterboxd.com/lucky_rabbit

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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 01/10/2026
Kevin Durant’s tweet “This a spiritual experience.”
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 28/09/2026
me after one of the most difficult offseasons as a blazers head, getting to see Dame back in red, black, and white:
Kevin from The Office saying "It's just nice to win one."
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 19/09/2026
Friday night in Ballhalla 💜🗡️🪽
Ballhalla (Chase Center Valkyries game)
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 26/08/2026
The Grim Reaper's intense focus on people born in 1946 better pay off soon...
The Just Kidding Star - "Put this star in your post when you're just kidding, so that THE FEDS know if you're just joking around"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 17/08/2026
Sunset in 2.39:1 🌅
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 27/07/2026
me whenever someone recs a film I haven't even heard of:
Matt Damon in the Criterion Closet, stuffing a movie into his tote back while saying "But I'll check it out."
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 22/07/2026
COME AND TAKE IT
A bag of Taco Bell
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 19/07/2026
Early morning fog on Mt. Tam 💛😶‍🌫️🤌
Dried grass with a shaft of light breaking through morning fog in the backgroundA lone, dead tree on a hillside peeking through a foggy hazeShafts of light cut through a forest canopy onto a mossy stumpA lone biker pedals up a steep road in the morning light, fog looming in the distance
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 16/07/2026
Some of my favorite shots from this week's personal vlog, which you can get delivered directly to your spam folder by signing up here: visualpostcard.cc
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 29/06/2026
oh no baby what! is you doing??
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 18/06/2026
Just had a spiritual experience at Bonsai Plant Kitchen
Dirty rice with fried onions and Japanese spiced mayoTeriyaki “chicken” skewersTempura cauliflower
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 09/06/2026
me trying to make it to my disclosure day screening unspoiled now that the embargo's up
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 29/05/2026
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 28/05/2026
Sometimes your commute via ferry lines up with golden hour and if you bring a camera ✨magic✨ ensues.
The San Francisco Ferry Building at magic hour.
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 20/05/2026
paul rudd is grossed outpaul rudd continues to be grossed out
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 19/05/2026
every non-spurs nba fan watching this go down
the breaking bad jesse "he can't keep getting away with it!" meme
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 13/05/2026
Leo Django laughing meme
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 07/05/2026
stick figure saying "hey check out how hard I can CRY" then spraying tears
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 07/05/2026
Don't forget to pick up some PRAISE ENERGY for the kids, they'll go nuts for their mascot (I am not making this up) ZION THE LION:
A cartoon lion giving the thumbs up next to brightly-colored, candy-flavored energy drinksA cartoon lion wearing an "I LOVE JESUS" t-shirt next to the following text: MEET OUR MASCOT ZION THE LION - Inspired by the Lion of Judah, Zion represents strength through faith, courage without arrogance, and confidence rooted in belief. He is a symbol of showing up daily with intention, standing firm in what you believe, and moving forward with purpose. Zion is not about hype. He is about resilience, discipline, and quiet strength.
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 07/05/2026
Might I suggest opting for HEIR LION? They have a form online where you can request prayer that is *definitely* not an email marketing signup form.
Heir Lion energy drinks next to AI slop stock photo of a man prayingonline prayer request form on the Heir Lion website
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 07/05/2026
Okay gang which of these (very real, I've checked) "Christ-centered" energy drinks will quench my spiritual thirst and fill me with the vigor of Christ’s love???
"AGAPE ENERGY" branded energy drinks, featuring biblical-themed art on each can with flavors "Preachin' Peach," "Blessed Berry," and "Mighty Mango""4GVN" branded energy drinks, with each can sporting a different bible verse. The taglines on the image read: "BUILT FOR BELIEVERS - FUEL WITH A MESSAGE™ - Clean energy with natural caffeine and zero sugar to fuel your body and soul.""YAHWEH" branded energy drink, featuring a yassified white Jesus on the can over the tagline "TAKE HIM ANYWHERE"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 05/05/2026
It’s a shame I’ve got too much of a soul to grift. I’d be the Will Hunting of grifting.
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 26/04/2026
Dundon after reading you and @shoozumoops.bsky.social’s skeets
Brad Pitt in a tank pointing and saying “shoot that guy”
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 26/04/2026
Sad Damian Lillard overlayed with a tweet reading “Pain.”
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 25/04/2026
it’s been five years, but it still feels just as yucky
Damian Lillard stoically crashing out during a press conference after a Blazers playoff loss
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 22/04/2026
the “he gets us” ad (used more appropriately here)
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 20/04/2026
all of us pulling up to Jody’s tomorrow
John Cusack hoisting up the boom box in Say Anything with a Blazers had crudely photoshopped on
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 08/04/2026
imagine torpedoing your career by associating with this guy
Excerpt from a Hollywood Reporter profile on Cipriani: At his favorite corner table at the Venice restaurant Gjelina, Cipriani refers to himself as “a kamikaze,” “a lone wolf,” “a wild card” and “a fucking cowboy.” He drops names, cracks jokes, issues threats. On several occasions, he breaks into song. An observant Catholic, he says he’s recently been visiting his local church in Santa Monica multiple times a day to pray as he contends with “forces of evil,” adding, “I’m a soldier of God.”
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 19/03/2026
Apologies to PTA, I was the real winner last weekend.
A fake Oscar statue sitting on a desk that says "Lucasfilm Oscar Ballot Champion 2026"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 18/03/2026
😬
106 this year
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 18/02/2026
a hand flying toward a big button that reads "PRE-ORDER"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 05/02/2026
Joe when he reads this skeet
the "get new material crow" meme
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 05/02/2026
the Joe Pesci "what the fuck is this piece of shit" meme
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 02/02/2026
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 08/01/2026
Had to click into the article to make sure you're really saying what I prayed you weren't saying. C'mon, you're better than this.
Excerpt from Arey's blog post saying: "I know that AI is s̶t̶e̶a̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ source [sic] art from across the internet - so you're essentially always copying. But isn't that how all art works? You start off copying the handwriting as the teacher has it on the board then you develop your own signature?"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 18/12/2025
"delicious...finally, some good fucking journalism"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 24/11/2025
He cooked with the few minutes Joey Mazz was willing to give him. ♥️
Ant Simons about to hit another 3
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 23/11/2025
Ready to witness an Anferno for old times sake. 🐜🔥
Blazers Legend Anfernee Simons
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 10/11/2025
. @schumer.senate.gov
Dennis Reynolds "you dumb bitch" meme
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 05/11/2025
. @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social
the Mario "you dropped this king" meme
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 01/11/2025
You may beat the Portland Trail Blazers, but you will not have any fun doing so.
A live look at the entire Denver Nuggets squad right now (“I’m straight up not having a good time” meme)
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 30/10/2025
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 23/10/2025
just a regular guy quenching his thirst
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 23/10/2025
Bill Paxton in Aliens delivering his iconic line read of "Game over, man. Game over!"
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 02/10/2025
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 30/09/2025
Tobias from Arrested Development delivering the much-memed "but it might work for us" line.
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 26/09/2025
Cigarette man meme with a Blazers hat on.
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 23/09/2025
George Costanza dripped out in Portland Trail Blazers gear saying "I gotta focus. I'm shifting into Blazers mode."
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 03/09/2025
I mean, 'cmonnnnn
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Craig Church @whatcraigwrote.com · 03/09/2025
If anyone in the Bay Area is interested / knows of someone who might be interested in adopting a young, sweet, social cat abandoned on the street by his former family, let me know! He's been neutered and is being fostered by us until we can find the indoor-only home of his dreams. ❤️
A small, adorable little white and grey cat with a pink nose looking nervously out through a pet carrier door.
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