iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Want sausages. Do not want the movement required to obtain sausages.

130

"I hope you brought enough for everyone" I'm asked at my interview. I produce a tray of coffees. "More!" They demand. Iced coffee begins to leak from the orifices of my face, a trickle first, then a torrent. "More! More!" They chant. My head splits, a coffee fountain erupts, the room floods.

All this talk of the exact details of the formation of U2 seem like instructions to time travellers if they wanted to... intervene.

Bringing a full pint of Guinness into an interview and when they ask about it I say "Maybe it's yours, maybe it's mine... Let's see how this goes."

130

Huh, you mean the market didn't respond well to the AI tamagochi?

Ok, someone has set the good Etsy Witches on this lad. The ones Jezebel used.

174

Going down to Bewley's with a stack of adult diapers and going to rake it in.

Bewley's, potentially at 7pm is what is being said now. I've seen a photo of outside of Bewley's being absolutely mobbed.

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

There's some rumour going that U2 are going to perform on Grafton St. today in a couple hours time.

220

What's that thing where headline questions are always answered with "no"?

140

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Someone needs to take the SuperValu head of marketing aside and explain "yes you scan" is an atrocious tagline.

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Sharing screenshots of the fash being owned on Twitter is not the win you think it is. You've announced you are still invested in what happens on that tirefire of a site, and anyone who did the owning is invalidated by still being there too. Turn it off!

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Continuing to check BlueSky frequently for cool and interesting stuff only to find horrible and depressing things. Time I will never get back.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Begun this firework season has.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Some of you fair weather haters of Ed Sheeran just swanning in here when some of us have been at this game for a long time.

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Always skeeting, never tweeting.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

This is the egg the first Pope laid that they say the final Pope will one day emerge from.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Anyone who listened to Ed Sheeran's music should have realised long ago that the man does not care about the suffering of others.

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

These alternative lyrics to CMAT's "Paint a Sexy Picture" are not up to much.

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

So do I tick to opt-out or tick to opt-in? The whole tick to opt-out language is super strange and seems like the sort of thing switched around at some point and supporting text failed to account for. Well they lost a sale over it.

001

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I think people are reading a lot into you know who's facial expressions post Connolly meeting. He always looks like a miserable arse. He most likely didn't process a single word said to him and was just wanting the meeting to end to get on the golf course.

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Just an enterprise grade LLM stealthily hiding out in my HTPC as I fail to notice the helicopters dropping in diesel generators or the tankers arriving with the water for cooling.

110

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Deliveroo app (minutes after navigating away from it): "The covenant has not been completed! The children, they hunger! You must finish the sequence or all will perish!"

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Missing out on the Dublin Beer Fest thanks to some pox (not COVID) I probably picked up sleeping in Bristol Airport on Tuesday. Super annoyed. Anyone going have another one for me.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Overnighting in Bristol airport after our flight back to Dublin was cancelled. Not a great day.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Nerrrrrrrds! (complimentary)

021

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

He's finally been found and booted outside! Also a second, not quite as big one.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Please, for the love of God, someone get Fontaines D.C. a new graphics artist.

Hideous poster for Fontaines d.c. Slane Castle gig.

A 90s era CGI woman with heat map texture and a reflection effect is posed kneeling with hands touching the ground. She is in a black void.

Dark blue lettering is used throughout.
The word "slane" in fontaines seriff font is behind her at the top of the poster. The word "castle" in same font at the bottom but this is in the foreground layer.

The billing is right aligned
Fontaines d.c. in their font.
Everyone else gets all caps impact
Hayley Williams
Damien Dempsey
Madra Salach
+ More TBA

051

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Guess what's going back in the blocklist? Let's hope no news involving actual traitors happens in the next 10 weeks or I will miss it.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Those poor kids at EP won't know what to do. "Meet at the merch after the band" isn't a life skill they ever learned.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Saw a giant house spider in the ensuite yesterday. Figured no point interfering with him. Good size, must be eating all our flies. Today he popped up beside me in bed and skittered over my sleeping partner to get away from me... live and let live is OVER!

110

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Asking Spotify AI to build a playlist that's "all bangers, no clankers" to antagonise it.

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Editor: You get those photos of that dog in the shelter? Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin washer eyed, just like you asked. Editor: what

000

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Going to buck the trend and agree with the headline premise. Yes, these records are broken, and we can pack up the whole "sports" thing now.

201

Alan @whataskeets.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Referring to Sudocreme as a "diaper cream" is going to enrage some folks.

I actively exercise my rights as a pedestrian to take priority over road traffic. Just getting a little bit of a thrill thinking how many "minutes of human life" I have racked up.

It's ten past nine on Leaving Cert results day. The Irish Times has published seven million, nine hundred and forty six thousand articles about the Leaving Cert. By the end of the day their Leaving Cert article output will equal the size of all other human text ever published.

000

Good luck to all the Leaving Cert result receivers on Bluesky... Yup... So many of them just hanging out here...the cool place... hip with the kids... daddios.