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Niki

@waxpumpkin.bsky.social
69 followers 98 following 631 posts

Mostly just talking to myself. Simply looking for a place to deposit my brain droppings while enjoying other kind-minded people.

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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Am starting to further detach from the meta social media teat and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jonesing a bit to check in. But my righteousness shall remain because of my feelings towards management versus platform. Anyhow, I currently have no advice. Just these notes while breaking free.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It is too early to be this bored!
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Just got back from my first fall time night walk of the season. My favorite time of the year to stroll. I allotted 2 minutes to shave off my official time for being allowed to stop to take a picture or adjust myself or whatever. Hooray for me!
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Yeah I might be too drunk to fire a gun So if you need me I'll be smoking darts in the sun” Pure poetry.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“I don't mind failing in this world Don't mind wearing the ragged britches 'Cause those who succeed are the sons of bitches”
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
These days, everything makes me so sad, so easily because so much is shit. Like, how are we collectively hardly acknowledging this farce and acting as though everything is OK? As I slowly get over my Bee Gees fascination, I find myself drawn to John Denver in a similar fashion.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My heart smiles with gratitude and joy today. Energy is cool. The universe is neat.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Got 3 girl cats fixed today and it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
If I can’t be what they envision - my perfect self - the only real purpose I serve is similar to the entertainment a cat gets watching their captured chipmunk slowly descend into the inhibition of surrender before the death blow. Maybe I’m a fool? Maybe I’m crazy? Probably both.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Never expected the reason I withdrew from social media was simply that I disagreed with management so my only choice as the helpless consumer was to walk away. Or that I started buying more canned staples, dry beans, spices and started making my own bread because modern food tastes fake any more.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Had one of the most unpleasant sleeps. Last night it was JUST humid & hot enough to make sleeping under a thinner wool blanket with windows open a tad too warm for the body even though lying there in bed with my feet and chest exposed I felt comfortable. Seems my body was in fact uncomfortable.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Friday night was over by 9pm with another weekend spent apart on the horizon. It is depressing. Lonely too. Though, I was probably born lonely?However, my goal tomorrow is to stay focused on and do the things I want and need to do that I will make a list of tomorrow after some rest.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I can’t keep doing this.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
No offense to this platform, which I consider more of a void/news place - my detachment from meta forms of media is going well but annoyingly. It is lonely, and I am even lucky enough to have a small group of 2-3 friends that I talk to on the phone once or twice a week each with. But it was fun.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Wole up at 7:45am after falling asleep on the couch around midnight. Cracked a big fuck-you Red Bull in hopes of having a fulfilling and productive day. Here’s to hoping I seize the day.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I woke up at 9:30am today and I am astounded and disheartened it isn’t even noon yet!
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Saying the same thing a thousand different ways so a million different people can understand is patience.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
When we aren’t working our lives away so some can asshole get richer, we are on our phones or PC grasping for meaningful human connection with people we consider friends, contemporaries, and strangers even, before having to sleep so you can wake up to do it all again, just as you were trained to do.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
The internet feels like it is dying in real time and I love it. Reminds me of that old Lenny Bruce quote about going back to God or something.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Starting to realize my childhood trauma was childhood itself, since there was no one moment or action of definitive trauma.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Did some overnight traveling this weekend and out of respect to my traveling companion I did not listen to nearly any Bee Gees over the past 4 days. I am beginning to overcome my affliction, but I still need my tastes, the occasional dessert, if you will. Whatever. I will not apologize.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I could do anything I want, if I tried. Thing is, I don’t really feel like doing anything in particular. Contemplating, choring, foraging, socializing and fucking is fine by me.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Just made the connection between “Odorono” and “Fire in the Rain” even though I have been listening to these songs most of my life.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Dude. What the fuck even is this world we live in? Sunday night I had what can only be called an experience. The sensation. Like something was being shared with me. It was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying, but in a terrific sense. I was not scared. Peace transcended this smoldering rage.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Now I have to make an album of some kind, just so I can go and title it this.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Cat just did the damndest thing at 3am on the dot. Started violently ringing the dog’s shit-bell by the front door signaling he wishes to be returned to the wild. I assumed he had a claw caught in it but no. When I arrived at the door he was staring up wildly weaving his head around. Eyes gigantic.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Last night I saw the situation completely for what it was and always has been and realized there was no nothing left. All I could do was offer a handshake and walk away with my shoulders held high.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
If “Books About UFOs” were written today would it be something like “Podcasts About True Crime”
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Sometimes I listen to “Living Eyes” by The Bee Gees and quietly shed a tear.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Smoking pot out of a bong while playing Bach is not how 18 year old me would have envisioned himself spending a typical Thursday evening as he moseyed into middle age. It is WAY better!
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I just had the best idea. Oh shit. So excited. Gotta go write this down on paper so the goldfish in me doesn’t forget. !!!
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Evil trying its best to make society shit the bed makes me wonder how far they’ll succeed when I see people continuing just posing and impostering on the internet like life is all fine instead of trying to forge real, lasting connection before shit gets real and weird. The two places I thrive.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Almost made a post that simply said “I’m developing” which made me giggle thinking about the lack of context. But I am. My voice. My ability to move. My posture. My intuition. Getting rid of shit. Old thoughts. Bad elements of otherwise decent systems. My rage. Excess weight. So I am developing.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
It is always silence. Never anything more.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Apparently my soul is about to scream soon and loudly. Looking forward to it.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Dang. A week on and my voice isn’t fully recovered. Still can’t hit my highs. Also, trying to carry a tune on a balancing board while attempting a body weight squat makes funny pitches slide outta me. That was not a fart joke.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Sucks no longer having people in real life you can talk to about things on your mind while getting feedback you trust because the internet is no longer very alive or a safe place.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Yesterday I got so angry at a vintage fan that I screamed directly at it long enough that my speaking voice sounds sexy today and I can’t sing very high.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Got me 3 times, last being around 5pm. At least I eventually got a rare apology.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Second time today. But this time it was out of sheer frustration and feeling hopelessly trapped. Awesome.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Cool. They got me to cry before 11am. Might as well live in silence.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I am releasing this paralyzation.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I am very sensitive. Sometimes I forget that. At least I am not fearful. That’s not nothing.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
There was a lightning at 10:59pm that was real far away but lit up the sky something good. It sure was impressive.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Also saw’r 4 little and tiny shooting stars plus some satellites.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Standing in my yard barefoot meditating while my cat Smokey was getting his zooms out and my owl friend started hooting at 3am on the dot. Am just so tickled to be where I am.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Apple Music started “mixing” music and I thought my stereo was malfunctioning or time was warping. Obviously not the cool one was reality and I think I turned “mixing” off.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Most social media accounts I keep set on private the majority of my time on them because I’m not selling or auditioning myself + people from the past or the now can find me across time if they know - if I let them. But that was an aside before the statement: I always keep my music profiles public.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Honest, true, or pure intentions misconstrued into nothingness simply to fuel an insatiable ego too proud to admit that tension is their kink because vulnerability terrifies them to the point of paralysis. Just like a cat abusing a mouse. That sadistic part of perfection.
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Niki @waxpumpkin.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
I need help cleaning. There. I said it.
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