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Walter T Panda - Official

@waltertpanda.bsky.social
38 followers 68 following 387 posts

As they say on werewolf YouTube, be sure to lycan subscribe.

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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I thought my phone was telling me I used a TB of data, but it was just a MyChart diagnosis.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Here's a handy tip. Crows are fry scream, ravens are false chord.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Hey, Grok, what's the cheapest way to join the Discords of all my favorite Japanese YouTube silent travel vloggers and get them on the same train?
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
McDonalds should do a Halloween themed eloté called the McCob.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
If you wake up in a dream, you wake up in real life.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The American Kennel Consortium has announced its newest recognized breed, the American Gun Dog (Canine Millimeter), which us sure to pop some 'howl' points in the competition this holiday season!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
The state of record collecting in the US. Thanks a lot, you orange turd.
A screenshot from a BandCamp order screen showing a shipping cost over twice the price of the item.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I've already imagined your AI startup logo as a goatse.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
They paved the Pickle Ball court and put up a parking lot. La lala.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Instead of 2 factor authentication, my job has it so if you log out you die. So secure.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Officer, I swear I was just cleaning my guillotine and it went off.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
in a haunted house and the only flash light I have is the led on my disposable vape
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Hot take: if you drive a #Tesla, you can't say shit about #Flock cameras. You 👏 drive 👏 one 👏.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
How do I decorate my house if I'm really into pineapples but not into wife swapping?
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Breaking News I Made up: The video game industry has successfully become an ouroboros! Microsoft and Bethesda have confirmed that Elder Scrolls 6 will initially release as a Remaster.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
What's a guy gotta do to get Isekai'd to ancient times these days? Please respond.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I just bought some lactose pills, so just like Pennywise, I'm fucking with dairy again.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Sometimes I think about how if you've ever used Facebook on the toilet or been naked near a Tesla, a billionaire has pictures of your genitals and that's just beautiful.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Donald Trump is the JD Vance of pedo sex traffickers.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I heard a little tip from my friend who works at KFC. If you're sick of using your mouth to pump out the fryer grease, wrap your hands in cheesecloth and fish around in there. Just be sure to cool it down with some ice cubes first!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Humans are just a support system for a tube that turns things into shit.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
If the Insane Clown Posse and the band Mayhem had concerts across the street from each other, it would be like the pandas and the zebras seeing each other at the zoo. Respectively.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
You can find wedding bands on Etsy made of pretty much anything. I found one the other day made of my dog's ashes. Whish-listed it.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
It's too bad the SCART cable never really took off. It's such a fun word to say!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
In mother Russia, cock wants you!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
I told my AI girlfriend the only way I can get off is if she hacks a Chinese server. The nut is in her court now.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
New series idea: Gordon Ramsay's Straight to Hell. Gordon has one week to live. Can he successfully relaunch a restaurant before he passes on? Find out this summer on Foxamount+.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
I have the Benjamin Button disease, but I started at like 45.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Hangovers are like migraines plus stolen valor.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
I put all my beef up as collateral on a bet and now I have steaks at stake.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I just spoke with Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes. It sounded like someone reinstalling Windows on Darth Vader, but he's in good spirits! Well, a spirit...
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
It's ironic that the most depressing app on my phone is called BlueSky. Maybe I'll download one that reminds me I'm lonely by showing me my happy neighbors called GreenerGrass.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Flirtation and filtration are basically the same words and I think that's beautiful.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Happy birthday, america! I'll be celebrating by sneaking up behind all the veterans in my neighborhood and screaming 'thank you for your service' in different foreign accents. If you're in a rush, a few well-timed fireworks can 'honor' them all at once. Follow me for more time saving tips!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I get these kinds of replies on MyChart, too. Is that bad?
A reply from a common spamming bot humorously referenced as a grim message from a healthcare professional.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
We should be allowed to call corporations slurs.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
My favorite brand on Amazon is probably [indiscernible capital letters]. They seem to make everything I want!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I get a little excited when my medications change shape. It's like collecting pokemon. I got a shiny Lisinopril!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I'm not 'constantly interrupting you with goofs', it's called active listening.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Would it be Sorth or Nouth?
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I was watching an episode of Hotel Hell and they cut to a stream, but the YouTube compression made it unwatchable. Maybe it was actually a RARing stream...
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Televangelists: "I ain't Christian, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
If ghosts were real, every boss I've ever had would have given me a goose on Christmas morning.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
I'm not 'constantly interrupting you with goofs', it's called active listening.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Meeting the alien from Contact: Voice of my dad, "hey, could you like describe me?" #Aphantasia
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
My watch flashing its little green light when I take it off.
static.klipy.com
Dachshund's First Dip in Water
Alt: Dachshund being held above shallow water feebly kicking its legs. This dummy thinks he needs to swim, but he ain't even in the water. Smh..
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Watching 90's/2000's wrestling: "Man, this guy's good. Why don't I remember him from anything later on? Aw, that's a shame."
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Times are tough, man. The tooth fairy just left my great godson a bill for her mileage under his pillow.
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Just got a random check in the mail because my hospital leaked my personal data. Follow me for more money generating tips!
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Walter T Panda - Official @waltertpanda.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Instructions or warning?
An image showing a sign on a commuter train reading "PANTOGRAPH AUTOMATIC DROP CUTOUT COCK".
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