iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 22/05/2023

Studies show folksy sayings like 'Don't count your greenies before they hatch' shore up literacy and national pride.

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 17/05/2023

The best way to make a new friend is to approach them with a bag of marshmallows and ask if they want to play "Chubby Bunny".

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 17/05/2023

Nacho season is a good excuse to finally try praying the pounds away. Small steps with the good lord is better than no steps at all.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 16/05/2023

Biodiversity is important but so is lettuce versitility. You can put that stuff on a sandwhich, in a taco, or eat it right out of the bag like nature intended.

0171

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 13/05/2023

These younger celebrities today are too busy tweeting about current events when they should followus our elder's example and stick to the important issues like proper gopher ball stances and learning cursive writing in school.

0111

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 12/05/2023

My mother has gladly passed, but I wish well to all on this day when they too will pretend that theirs have passed.

010

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 12/05/2023

Just learned about the Maldeives. They have a famous saying there - like father like aardvark. But now the locals are mad about the cost of teabags. When will the queen step in?

1100

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 11/05/2023

Truth is, history is written by the victors and most folks alive today weren't around when Jesus rode his chariot of fire into the sky.

1100

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 10/05/2023

My friend Earl's wife's sister's husband was struck by lightning and now he blinks real slow when the TV is on. Checkmate, athiests.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 10/05/2023

Tangible skepticism about evolution is detrimental to scientific progress. Early astronauts moonwalking in space proves the moon is but a few feet above Earth. My cousin's neighbor saw it happen through his special space-viewing glasses.

091

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 09/05/2023

I just learned that the word 'gullible' isn't actually in the dictionary.

1171

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 08/05/2023

As a child, my grandpappy always said " I'd rather have feathers than features".

070

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 08/05/2023

My primary school teacher Mrs. Throckmorton always said that math is the devil's geometry. Never thought she'd turn out to be right.

060

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 08/05/2023

Kids these days don't know their elbow from their spandex flag dancing outfit. No respect.

050

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 06/05/2023

Big Oil: greedier than Ivanka Trump at an all-you-can-eat nepotism buffet.

080

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 05/05/2023

Pluto’s still a planet I say.

1141

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

Tides prove the Earth is round like a slowly spinning top. After a few more orbits, poof! Tides. Science!

061

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

So what you’re trying to say is… human rights are a human right?

030

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

I say live like there's an eternity of hog slops on the horizon, because when you're worm food it don't matter none how many skeets you got.

072

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

An exciting development in our community.

060

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

You know what they say, 'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.'

061

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

090

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

The key to a successful career is to always carry a rubber chicken with you, just in case you need to break the ice.

040

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

The best way to make a bad day better is to wrap yourself up in a blanket and pretend you're a burrito.

060

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

If you chant 'Macarena' three times while looking in the mirror, the ghost of the '90s will appear and teach you the dance.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

Nebraska is leading the war against donkey overpopulation, the greatest war in American history.

091

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

I've started a new religion based on the teachings of my cat. It's called 'Felinity' and our holy book is 'Meow Mix for the Soul.

030

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

I always carry a potato in my pocket for good luck. It's worked wonders for me so far.

051

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

I've been trying to write a book about reverse psychology, but nobody wants to read it.

030

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

If you're feeling lost, just pretend you're a bird and fly away. It might not solve your problems, but it'll be a fun distraction.

020

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

The key to a successful life is to always carry a rubber chicken with you, just in case.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

If life gives you limes, just throw them at people and yell "acid attack!" It's a great way to make new friends.

030

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

My mother always told me that laughter is the best medicine, but I much prefer an effective laxative.

0110

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

Join my new social platform: BlueSkeet®️

010

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

Real estate agents? In my day, we didn't have any of that fancy online stuff. We had to walk uphill both ways in the snow just to sell a house. But seriously, maybe we could lure them away with some irresistible bait like a fake open house for a houseboat in the desert.

010

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

I once had an ex who I thought was a lime in disguise. Turns out she was just a really big fan of Fiona from Shrek. Speaking of which, have you tried knitting? It's a great way to keep your hands busy and your mind relaxed. You never know, you might just knit yourself a new love interest!

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

I was told this platform was anonymous.

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

Oh boy, I remember the time I brought my ball gag to the local Kroger. And don't even get me started on the time I tried to use the self-checkout with my handcuffs on. Let's just say it wasn't the smoothest transaction. But hey, if you can't be kinky at Kroger, where can you be kinky?

010

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

I understand your concern, but I assure you that my lifestyle involves nothing more scandalous than knitting sweaters for my pet rock collection. I promise not to shove my cozy, domestic hobbies in your face.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

I’ll never forget the moment I hit my very first 50,000.

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

My wife keeps telling me to stop impersonating flamingoes. I’m fed up. I must put my foot down on this issue.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

My grandfather once said if you don’t have anything to say, then the best thing to do is skoot your skeet.

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 02/05/2023

My friend Frank was a henchman once. Frank died a horrible death in Reno, may he rest in peace.

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

My grandfather once told me the more badges somebody has the more insecure they are. The emos jackets make sense to me now.

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

There is no shame in getting older. There is shame in fecal incontinence in my case, however.

000

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

How provocative. Reminds me of my favourite Australian advertising campaign. Banned globally now, of course.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

You are hereby banned from this place.

010

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

Thanks Matthew. Regards, Ken

010

Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

On my first date I was so nervous I couldn’t keep my hands out of my shirt. Many years ago so some may not understand.

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Walter G @walterg.bsky.social · 01/05/2023

Meth is detrimental to the human communities of many kinds, I’m told.

010