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Johnny

@vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social
1.1K followers 599 following 1.1K posts

I have this pain in my chest that goes away when I drink beer. Only here for politics, scatology and chat.

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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 4h
Soft. Gender implies behavior. For example when in cuddling my newborn and singing lullabies I think I’m being feminine. But I’m a man. Do earning a wage for the family feels masculine. Male, female are sexes. Not genders. Stop being scared of using the right word
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 4h
If I want a book featuring talking snakes, I’ll go with Harry Potter. Thank you.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 5h
Canada should stop diesel exports until the 50% tariffs are dropped. Or he dies. I’d prefer the latter.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 5h
Erm. Where’s the wine???
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 6h
Gésiers. Look nice on a menu in France. Chicken gizzard wouldn’t sell as well in English.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 6h
🇨🇦
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 16h
Now do Melanoma and Elon
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Hey look! A country where protestors don’t get shot or “deported”
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
New word for our times: deathstreaming. File under shit but true
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
An error is over There. Fixed it for ya!
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Hopefully they’ll both lose.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Fucking horrible. What am I missing!
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Live streaming executions? I’m in favor I think it’ll turn people off the death penalty. There’s a pub in Edinburgh’s Grassmarket - the last drop. It’s opposite where the public gallows were. there’s definitely precedent for public executions. I hope the publicity will make ‘em less likely.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Alumnus. An alumnus. Many alumni. Not hard. Get it right.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Christa Pike She’s been executed. It didn’t work. She should go free. Discuss
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
If I want to read a book featuring talking snakes, I’m going with Harry Potter.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Anybody who survives execution should be freed.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Vote early. Vote often.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Isn’t there a vaccine for that? No… wait…
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Ain’t nuthin wrang wid marryin’ yur zisterr
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Watching England highlights vs Croatia and Chekia and it’s like watching Bielsaball. Absolutely one-touch-tastic!!!
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
He looks sooooo happy!!!
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
He’s a young guy. Did reprehensible shit. How does he atone, accept, acknowledge and eventually move on? But. He also deserves opportunity. Just like his victim. This is complicated. I’m confused. She deserves to be made whole. He deserves punishment but also a future.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This is why metric should be the norm. I can go to the deli counter in Paris and ask for 454g de cheddar anglais. And get what I need
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
… and moobs
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My youngest deployed ton the Middle East last weekend for a year. I managed to not cry until driving away. My appetite is also way off kilter. My diet is definitely not balanced right now Hope you pull thru
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I used to live in a house with an apple tree in the back garden. Wiltshire. I had a cider press that I, erm, pressed into use and could make the best cider I’ve ever tasted. All with wild yeast.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’m a nice person. But if you want me to read a book featuring talking snakes, I’m going with Harry Potter
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I still can’t get past the spray tan. It’d be disqualifying for anyone else
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I got rid as soon as musk took over
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I bet the use by date was August 31 1986 😄
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
BMI says guilty. I don’t need any other evidence
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Next level YP’s The secret? Age the batter 24hrs to let the enzymes in the flour go to work
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Prediction: CHEAT-ING-BAS-TARDS <repeat> will be chanted loudly and often at all MCFC games for the rest of the season
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Hell yes!
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
So help me here - I can buy a can am, and fill it full of crowne royale, but what dairy product completes my cocktail?
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Nutella, I’d believe
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
He must be English. I also do this. Pizza and burgers too.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Invite the UK too! It’s all we ever wanted from EU. No straight bananas. Just straight deals.
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Reposted by Johnny
MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 16/09/2026
European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen has invited Canada to become the first-ever “associate member” of the European Union, as Canada and the rest of the world shift away from the U.S.
meidasnews.com
European Union Chief Invites Canada to be First Associate Member Amid Trade War With the U.S.
Ursula von der Leyen took the extraordinary step to bring Canada into the European sphere of influence in response to ongoing trade disputes with the U.S.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
France to equip Canada with nukes to defend against USA stated goal of assimilation
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
@evelynterry01.bsky.social You’re my biggest fan. Why??? 😂
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Worsch. No forward guidance. Except for his trading boss
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
France to supply Canada with nukes to deter US invasion?
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Hope the UK can join in too!
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Can confirm
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I bet he’s been replaced by artificial stupidity.
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Johnny @vorpalsw0rd.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The can dislocate their jaws like the lizard people in V
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