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vonrosceau

@vonrosceau.crime.chat
42 followers 33 following 427 posts
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 06/10/2026
you know, generally when Some Shit turns up on the front page of aliexpress for me I can make a guess how their algorithm connected it to my activity, but what the fuck happened here
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 03/10/2026
was trying to say "the framing of the question invites an obvious No which unhelpfully elides the fact that, embedded in a construct, it enables a completely different action with some comparable effects" but then I remembered actually crankshafts can walk so never mind
close-up of one of Theo Jansen's "Strandbeest" kinetic sculptures, which use various sails and canopies flapping in the wind to drive crankshafts producing a walking motion in banks of many parallel articulated-truss "legs".
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 25/09/2026
i need this flag 36 arcminutes wide
The "Stonehenge" set-piece from This Is Spinal Tap, except a pride flag (the cool one with stripes for Sex and Magic) has been crudely pasted over the eighteen-inch trilithon.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 19/09/2026
aliexpress has decided I'm into "EDC" and is now showing me this shit and I am slightly losing it. yes, please, this will go perfectly with my cordura-dyneema sailor suit and precision-cast grey enormous swirly lollipop
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 17/09/2026
youtube shorts has changed my life. i've never learned so much so quickly
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 12/09/2026
don't have anything that can get in to measure the really thin spot accurately but it's south of 0.5
Edit of the Hobgoblin "What's the matter, lagerboy, afraid you might taste something?" poster which reads "What's the matter, specified wear tolerances boy, afraid you might die in a catastrophic front rotor failure something?".

Instead of a beer, the goblin man has been crudely edited so he appears to be holding a close-up photo of a really fucked up rotor.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 12/09/2026
repost to scare a cyclist
Close-up photograph of the rim of a bicycle disc brake rotor. The wear surface is visibly substantially thinner than the spokes.Photograph of the same rotor being measured with a dial caliper, which reads just over 0.9mm.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 12/09/2026
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 08/09/2026
cracked open a book light that stopped turning on after a couple of months in a drawer only to find the least ambitiously branded lipo i have ever seen
The inside of an electronic device. There is a PCB with a footprint of around 20x40mm with a couple of 8-pin SOICs and a USB-C charging socket, and a lithium polymer bag cell with a slightly larger footprint.

The cell identifies its maker as ShenZhen OKAYCORE Technology Co., Ltd.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 31/08/2026
real bad at leaving websites gang
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 30/08/2026
Users outside the US still get Lake Ontario (and, for The Last Time This Happened, the "teach the controversy" weasel route) so no, Google weren't simply taken off guard by a data source suddenly becoming Ideological and they don't need us covering for them
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 22/08/2026
Most expensive mug I've ever seen in a charity shop by an order of magnitude. They know what they have
Photograph of a charity shop window display. Centred is a mug priced at £4.99: it is printed with a photograph of a golden retriever and the text

Golden Retriever Club of Scotland
BEST VETERAN BITCH
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 17/08/2026
briefly had to put down an edit I would describe as "diagnosable" but I found a little fuck it we ball in me to pull it back
It's the Parks & Recreation "Do you think a depressed person could make this?" meme. Pasted over the little figurine the guy is holding is an edit of the op's "mood meter" image, where the text in every zone has been replaced with "So it goes."
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 12/08/2026
IN WHOSE JURISDICTION BEN
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 11/08/2026
lifetime driving ban for everyone who does this
Aerial view of a roundabout interchange between an elevated motorway and several smaller roads.
A red line marks the path of a hypothetical vehicle or vehicles attempting to skip a few hundred metres of traffic by exiting the motorway, passing through the roundabout, and rejoining further up.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 24/07/2026
every few years I remember the Moulton bicycle company exists and take a minute to appreciate the facts - Eiffel tower ass frame geometry - Mini-style rubber cone or BMC Hydrolastic suspension. on a bicycle. - that bicycle costs £21,000 - Wiki maintainer also copywrites for Shrovis-Bishopthorpe
The flagship Moulton NS D-Pylon bicycle in polished stainless steel. It's proportioned like a folding bicycle and, rather than the currently fashionable large tubular members, the frame is a complication of small-diameter zig-zagged trusses.A "Hydrolastic" rear suspension unit. The spring is a rubber "cone" (looking much more hemispherical but that's what Alex Moulton called it and I never got knighted for my engineering) and it's allegedly filled with hydraulic fluid for damping purposes.Wikipedia excerpt which, I need to be clear, is the SECOND PARAGRAPH from the "Moulton Bicycle" article:
A misconception about Moultons is that they fold in the manner of more recent designs by manufacturers such as Brompton, Bickerton or Dahon. This is not true, though the Moulton design paved the way for such designs and various Moultons over the years have been made in separable versions allowing relatively easy dismantling for transportation or storage. Thus although Moultons are often included in the folding bicycle category along with small-wheel folders, small-wheel bicycles would be a more technically correct term covering all such bicycles.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 21/07/2026
- it's a floating glans - no foreskin (it is arguably part of the shaft) - this is a dangerout line of inquiry
ANYWAY he just baps the shit out of it like a paddle ball
Wait wait bigger question
What happens if you sound Rayman
Does it bottom out or come out the other side or just disappearwhat's even the equivalent counterpart of that situation. does a raywoman just have a completely inaccessible internal pocketgotta do speedrun wall glitches to fuck & go to the hospital to stop fucking
maybe you never do stop? you find the right raypartner and you just leave it in there
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 20/07/2026
happy "he definitely cranked one off up there" day to all who celebrate
When Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Vikings published his autobiography "Carrying the Fire" in 1974, a contemporary Time Magazine quoted the following passage: "Imagine a spacecraft of the future, with a crew of a thousand ladies, off to Alpha Centauri, with two thousand breasts bobbing beautifully and quivering delightfully in response to their every weightless movement ... and I am the commander of the craft, and it is Saturday morning and time for inspection, naturally". The magazine followed this up by (end of excerpt)
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 20/07/2026
www.thingiverse.com/thing:1804833 oh here we go, literally a promotional thing from the company. uses a lot of expensive putty & barely better looking than tape or heatshrink, but fig. 1 below (from an even older, now-lost post) shows you can make something less wasteful and sloppy-looking with it
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 20/07/2026
can't find it now but I definitely recall seeing a printable mould for overcasting strain reliefs using Sugru or similar made up of two convex cylindrical slices with mating gear teeth on the ends, as drawn very badly below
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 15/07/2026
"fuck it I'll play a computer game that's less than 20 years old" the machine that plays computer games less than 20 years old:
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 12/07/2026
i'm honour bound to suggest an old yokogawa, not because they're particularly superlative that i know of but because (a) they made some incredibly Aesthetic amber CRT scopes and (b) someone there saw me getting excited about a grubby old DL1540 on Twitter and shipped me one they had in the back room
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 10/07/2026
I regret to inform you that I do, in fact, "gotta hand it to them": this is fucking nice less nice is how the exploded rifa lives on the same board as the flyback. not a fan there.
The same Beovision as previous pictures.

The PCB Fortress is, as it turns out, designed to open like a beautiful butterfly spreading its wings, allowing much easier access to the parts side of each board.

The butterfly in this metaphor is also caked in the worst dust you will ever encounter without someone in an NBC suit pointing a rifle at you.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 09/07/2026
Opinions are on record
Screenshot of a chain of Discord messages from op:

well i was operating the beovision
(still not in greggs)
and i got annoyed because it's a bastard piece of shit made by danish lunatics for rich freaks
so i put it on standby
and an hour or two later something went pop in the back and filled the room with smoke
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 09/07/2026
This TV is 35 years old and I have had it for 5 of those, but it decided to do this the precise DAY my SS1 arrived, and I'm choosing to take that personally
A Retro Remake SuperStation One (a MiSTer-derived FPGA console) sitting on the accessory shelf under the Beovision.

It has been there for a few hours and has become quite dusty in that time.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 09/07/2026
Today I learn of The Perfidious Rifa
The AC input board from the Beovision shown in the previous post.

In the centre of the photo is a grubby translucent cuboid with a yellow label reading "250V-SH".

It has visibly exploded on one side, spraying some kind of brown dielectric gunk across nearby components.

A small flap of foil hangs out of the exploded side, shorting against a nearby pin connector.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 09/07/2026
Problem is located "somewhere in here"
Inside the back of a Bang & Olufsen Beovision LS 5000 CRT television.

There is a fortress made of printed circuit boards mounted in frames at various angles, almost all oriented so the components are facing inwards and very difficult to inspect without poking around entirely too close to a bunch of things that might be holding a 30KV charge.

It is dusty in there.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 08/07/2026
ai machine
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 25/06/2026
the new mayor really cleaned the place up
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 25/06/2026
intrusive thought purged
crop of the "It was the goose that created value" slide from the above quoted presentation. the text has been edited to replace "goose" with "Jeb!". the goose's posing is reminiscent of jeb bush in that one meme.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 24/06/2026
well I'll keep the hostname but this could be my worst setup experience in 10 years, and that includes last year when I tried Void with no DE
partial screenshot of an xfce desktop (signified by the cute mouse wallpaper) on void linux (signified by the "xbps-install" command in the terminal). the active user is "roscoe" and the hostname is "bikestick".
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
oh shit i'm about to set up a fresh linux and xfce just released alpha wayland support. we have not been this back in decades. triumphant return to the house of mouse
A cartoon mouse (the XFCE mascot) above text in an Impact-like typeface which reads "4.20", the version number of the latest XFCE release. The background is some blurry lime blobs on a dark teal field.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
decided i should take what might be my last opportunity to upgrade before the Parts Insanity seeps into the lightly used business laptop market as well. now wondering if I just bought an elitebook from Ashens
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
"She's just fine from the knees up" became "from the hips up", then "from the waist up". When she started to lose confidence in her cart, we knew "from the shoulders up" was too far. I knew when I took this photograph that one day it was going to completely devastate me. There's never enough time.
A dog stands in the middle distance at sunrise, silhouetted against a misty golden sea near a wooden pier. A Victorian steel bridge is barely visible in the background through the mist.
It isn't obvious, but it's the same gray dog as the previous photographs.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
Having the diagnosis meant we knew enough to keep her on her feet with support braces, and later to get her a wheelchair ahead of the day her hind legs gave out. She was so patient and hard-working, and she graced us with months more snuffling and squirrel-chasing than we dared hope for.
Stock photo of a dog wearing a Maximus PawsUp brace, which uses cords fixed between an ankle cuff and the front of a dog bootie to hold the dog's toes up and help it walk pads-down.The grey dog previously described, this time using a dog wheelchair (from Walkin' Pets) to support her hindquarters. She is on a dirt path between gorse bushes and having a good shake.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
She was diagnosed early last year with Degenerative Myelopathy, a genetic ALS-like condition which causes progressive ataxia and paralysis. We assumed arthritis or hip dysplasia until a vet showed us the knuckling test: lift a hind paw, set it down curled over, and wait for the dog to correct.
Stock photo of a dog standing on a rug, close-up on the hind legs. The right paw is positioned normally, but the left is curled over, so the dog is standing on its knuckles.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
generational talent at lounging and sprawling, consummate mouser, ridiculously expressive, as full of love as she was blazing smart. as bright eyed and intent as the day we met her.
A long fluffy grey dog stretched across a small couch in the belly-down pose commonly called a "sploot" in rabbits. Her chin is resting on the arm of the couch, canting her head back at quite an angle. To read her expression, it doesn't get any better than this.A mottled grey animal that is probably some kind of canid. She is resting her head against the leg of a coffee table, thoroughly scrunching up her face. This, too, is as good as it gets.A grey animal with certified papers stating she is not a wolf, bounding through ankle-deep snow towards the photographer.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/06/2026
posting in memory of the unimaginably precious half-feral Romanian wolfmutt we had to see off last week. almost 13 but still years before her time.
A medium-sized double-coated dog with a mottled grey and white coat. She is sitting on a snowy hillside overlooking an estuary spanned by a cable-stayed bridge. She is half-rising while looking expectantly at something out of frame.The same grey dog. She is sphinxing on a rug and leaning on the photographer, who is sitting in a beanbag and using a laptop computer. She is making eye contact and doing her best to block the screen and divert attention.The same gray dog. She is lying on a grassy point overlooking the sea, with her head raised and her eyes closed in apparent bliss. It is a beautiful day.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 20/06/2026
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 02/06/2026
dragging my favourite chost out of the archives for the day that it is web.archive.org/web/20250107...
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 30/05/2026
welding up a ford transit like
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 27/05/2026
it's gauche to self-quote and worse to call it evergreen but on reflection it's been a long time since I did this, maybe that's part of the general malaise I'm feeling
Screenshot of a tweet from @vonrosceau dated 2014-06-14 12:14 BST:

if anyone's been peeking through the tear in my blinds i hope you enjoyed seeing me hamboning to prog rock instead of putting on any clothes
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 25/05/2026
a few days later, but I got curious: one probable reason for prescribing the prodrug appears to its relative insensitivity to gut pH, allowing for a more predictable relationship between oral dosage and resultant blood concentration.
Excerpt from the Wikipedia article on dextroamphetamine:
The oral bioavailability of amphetamine varies with gastrointestinal pH; it is well absorbed from the gut, and bioavailability is typically 90%. Amphetamine is a weak base with a pKa of 9.9; consequently, when the pH is basic, more of the drug is in its lipid soluble free base form, and more is absorbed through the lipid-rich cell membranes of the gut epithelium. Conversely, an acidic pH means the drug is predominantly in a water-soluble cationic (salt) form, and less is absorbed.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 23/05/2026
maybe you know this one already, this is second-hand because my horrible 3D printer has been gathering dust for A While, but these things (plastic razor scrapers) are reportedly life savers in that department I can personally attest that they're great for getting labels off things, though
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 11/05/2026
Ray Smuckles, the chubby cat from Achewood, explains with the aid of an abstract diagram the "Isosceles Lock", a technique which enables three dudes to sixty-nine.
He says "Invented by the dudes from ABBA, the Isosceles Lock has revolutionized...", but this is the last panel in the strip so imagining what precisely was revolutionized is left as an exercise to the reader.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 10/05/2026
Screenshot of tweet from @thomas_violence, 2020-07-01 03:31:
drinking 5 stouts, posting "I've the beer", getting into my awful Falcon and having one of those car accidents that goes viral because no one can figure out how the car got up there
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 08/05/2026
Comrades I decided not to buy an Olympus XA at a charity shop for £60 about two hours ago, because I very much do not know when I'm going to have the fucks to shoot film again, and I've been furiously second-guessing the decision ever since.
Stock photo of an Olympus XA 35mm camera (the good one with the rangefinder, not the fixed-focus successors whose existence I consider a personal slight). It's minuscule and a classic of industrial design. The one I decided not to buy also had the A11 flash attachment, not pictured here, which I'm sure is very useful but makes it about 60% less gorgeous / precious / darling.
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 07/05/2026
so while I did know what a "brazzers" was, I had no idea why it was called that, and I just emitted a sigh that registered on local seismometers
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 02/04/2026
found out a few weeks back (because they were down at the marina taking pictures of their cars with iridescent wraps and body kits) there's an owners' club you can join if you enjoy a fine Volkswagen Auto Group vehicle and their apparel looks like this don't know what direction that pushes you in
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vonrosceau @vonrosceau.crime.chat · 19/03/2026
hope you get a chance to see the sights here in the Kingdom of Fife
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