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I love Ashley Gavin and this is so DEEPLY relatable. I, too, am a butch rendered incoherent by tiddy, especially when the owner of same is Direct. Blonde Wife is shameless in her use of this fact.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 21h

On the linked page.

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attorney
noun
at·tor·ney ə-ˈtər-nē
plural attorneys
Synonyms of attorney
Simple Definition
A Simple Definition is available from our Learner's Dictionary to help you understand the meaning faster.
: one who is legally appointed to transact business on another's behalf
especially : lawyer
attorneyship ə-ˈtər-nē-ˌship
noun
Synonyms of attorney
Relevance

deputy
representative
delegate
agent
manager
minister

Examples of attorney in a Sentence
talked to the count's attorney about buying land from his estate finished law school and became an attorney
Recent Examples on the Web
Examples are automatically compiled from online sources to show current usage. Read More
Twenty-seven states have passed laws ensuring that defendants in consumer debt cases have the right to an attorney once jail time becomes a possibility, Jones said. — Kansas City Star, 11 Oct. 2026 Kolodin, an attorney who had lost a GOP primary for the state Senate that summer, was seen as something of a gadfly by some in the state GOP and hardly seen at all by others. — Laura Meckler, Washington Post, 11 Oct. 2026 The victim is Fort Lauderdale attorney Ryan Shrouder — Morin’s former boss and Corcoran’s son. — David J. Neal, Miami Herald, 11 Oct. 2026 When Harmeet Dhillon took over as the new chief of the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division last April, the conservative attorney vowed to radically reshape the storied unit and its mission. — Ryan Lucas, NPR, 11 Oct. 2026
Word History
Etymology

Middle English attourney, from Anglo-French aturné, past participle of aturner — see attorn
First Known Use

14th century, in the meaning defined above
Time Traveler
The first known use of attorney was in the 14th century
See more words from the same century
Phrases Containing attorney

attorney-at-law
attorney general
c…

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 17/10/2026

So, I'm looking solely at Merriam Webster for definitions, bc I thought that might help, and ... It seems that may be an "attorney" in the meaning of "legal deputy" without being a "lawyer," as in what a "power of attorney" is when exercising said power? www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/a...

attorney
noun
at·tor·ney ə-ˈtər-nē
plural attorneys
Synonyms of attorney
Simple Definition
A Simple Definition is available from our Learner's Dictionary to help you understand the meaning faster.
: one who is legally appointed to transact business on another's behalf
especially : lawyer

lawyer
noun
law·yer ˈlȯ-yər ˈlȯi-ər
Synonyms of lawyer
Simple Definition
A Simple Definition is available from our Learner's Dictionary to help you understand the meaning faster.
: one whose profession is to conduct lawsuits for clients or to advise as to legal rights and obligations in other matters

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 16/10/2026

Now that Davos gets fresh food, he has started Enforcing Breakfast Time. He just woke me up. How? By climbing up on my chest, singing me the grunty, chirpy song of his people, & licking his lips loudly until I said, "do you want breakfast?" He answered, and I quote: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

A mini Aussie shepherd and pibble mix the color of a pumpkin spice latte wearing a trucker cap for dogs that says "Polycule Pup" along with the polyamory infinity heart.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 15/10/2026

And with apple butter, preservation season is done.

Many jars of apple butter, half pints and pints, sitting on a stovetop on top of dish towels.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 15/10/2026

Hey y'all want to see the size chart for the Hawaiian shirt I'm currently working on putting together listings for? Oh - and - it's 100% cotton. ;) This should FINALLY be ready very very soon.

Size Guide

inch XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL 6XL 7XL 8XL
Length 28.2 29 30 30.8 31.6 33.2 34.8 35.6 36.4 37.2 38.0 38.7
Shoulder 15.7 17.2 18 19.5 21 22.5 24 25.5 26.5 27.5 28.5 29.4
Bust 35.4 39.4 43.3 47.2 51.2 55.1 59.1 63 66.9 70.9 74.8 78.7
Sleeve 9.5 10 10 10.5 10.5 11 11 11.5 11.5 12 12.0 12.5

The size guide maxes out at an 8X for a chest circumference of 78.7".

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 14/10/2026

Love pre-ordering a "signed" Taylor Tomlinson book for Tall Wife from the preorder link Taylor sent out and getting this...

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 14/10/2026

Cap is home! They ended up taking 5 tumors off him, 3 of which we're biopsying just to be safe. 3 were small enough to get with a punch biopsy tool. 3 were on his left hind leg, 2 in his right front armpit.

A brown and black hound and pibble mix looking very doped up and wearing a plastic e-collar.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 11/10/2026

I'm also hoping that the samples come back in time for us to launch the new version of the skirt the URL comes from, which we lost in 2025 bc of tariffs:

A beautiful white woman with short blonde curls in a grey tank top caught in a screenshot from a tiktok spinning around in a midi-length Ace Pride space skirt. Blonde Wife looks delighted.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 07/10/2026

So Blonde Wife got a treat-throwing camera to distract Davos with And the app is like... so do this whole long process to teach your dog where the treats come from and I'm like Hmmm how about I just use the app twice? By the third time I hit the button...

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 03/10/2026

I keep looking for ways to explain how tired I am of trying to exist and being made political but I can't do any better than this:

hairy tits and all

Jul 1, 2024

Spider Perry

when i was 20 i said: you made me political.

not me! you did. you made my love political,

my joy political, seeing a body like mine

in flickering red-blue-green composite light,

you made that political, too. but i was letting you

define everything, even politics. the truth is,

I wake up political, brush my teeth political,

even my morning shit has a point of view.

maybe yours doesn't: if so, honestly, officer,

I kinda pity you. everyone worth knowing knows

everything worth doing is political. I only

pass this way once: let me do so

like i mean it, dyke laughter

and hairy tits

and all.

Tags

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 02/10/2026

I set my scone on the table for a second so I could capture the INTENSITY

A white pit bull mix with a pink nose and freckles on his ears and nose STARES at a scone

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 02/10/2026

So I found out after I made this video that earlier today Emet set a plate with a scone on it on the side table and turned her back on it for literally ONE SECOND, turning around to set down her bag... ... & when she turned back, Rumba was swallowing the entire HUGE scone alligator-style.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 28/09/2026

A friend sent me the original of this and Blonde Wife said, "this should have Davos in it" so I made it happen.

A bin of "Butch's Best" potatoes with Ser Davos Seawoof photoshopped into it.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 26/09/2026

I have updated the goal on this after talking to the vet, who feels pretty confident that we're going to have to remove at least one of Cap's teeth, so the low-end estimate won't hold. Thank you for your help so far, & please enjoy 3-month-old Cap having a nice dream.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 24/09/2026

Lex taught Cap to be Bros Being Calm In The Sunshine. That's how we hang out, you see, and how little dogs get the approval of big dogs.

Bros Being Calm In The Sunshine: two dogs relaxing on the grass, back to back.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 24/09/2026

I mean, just... SO patient.

The puppy wrasslin' the old dog. By which i mean the puppy is the size of the old dog's head and bites at his ear while the old dog puts up with it.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 24/09/2026

He was a little lad who worshipped our big dog Lex, an Airedale/Lab mix who was the most calm and patient dog I've ever seen with a puppy as excitable as Cap.

A little dog and a big dog in the grass.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 24/09/2026

Hello! Can I bribe you to look at this fundraiser by showing you pictures of Cap... AS A BABY?? The Old Man didn't start out as an old man! He was once... A TINY LAD! Learning to take treats without taking my fingers off!

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 24/09/2026

He's not very bright, our lad, but he makes up for it by wagging his tail in a circle so hard that it slaps against the seat, the door, and the seat again when the vet tech who just drew his blood walks out to give us his pre-surgery meds. FRIEND! AGAIN! FRIEND!!

A brown and black dog leaning his chin on the back of another dog so he can get closer to the human.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 24/09/2026

The only good thing about taking Cap to the vet is that he has the memory span of a goldfish and loves all humans. Unlike Davos, who KNOWS that the vet is where he gets prodded and poked with needles and is Far From Mother, Cap forgets the needles immediately and only sees FRIENDS EVERYWHERE.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 23/09/2026

The branches have been cut back and the squirrel has been banished, so the DAILY BIRD is back! Since we missed a day, here are two.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 21/09/2026

No birds today. We need to fix the baffle, I think, because...

A squirrel and a readout saying 0 birds, 73 total "animal" visits.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 21/09/2026

As much as it fucking breaks my heart that Rumba has Bad Dreams Nights where he cries and screams in his sleep, it also melts my heart that the only thing we have to do to stop it is say, "You're a good boy, Rumba," or put one of our hands in front of his nose so he can smell us.

A white pit bull asleep on a bed like a person with a pillow and a weighted blanket.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 20/09/2026

Daily birds! Chestnut-backed and black capped chickadees. :)

Black capped chickadee holding a sunflower seed in its mouth

A chestnut-backed chickadee looking curious

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 20/09/2026

Cap doesn't understand why I ever get up and stop snuggling him.

A black and brown elderly hound and pit bull mix peeking out from a huge pile of blankets.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 19/09/2026

Joking about what a stereotypical lesbian I am & I realize that not only do I carry a Leatherman in my bag, but its belt case is damaged bc it was chewed on by a rescue pit bull.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 18/09/2026

Daily Bird! Female House Finch

A brown female house finch sitting on a feeder perch.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 18/09/2026

Daily Bird! Female House Finch

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 18/09/2026

So... the fatty tumor on Cap's knee has very suddenly doubled in size and changed shape. It will need to be biopsied (again) at least and probably removed. Needless to say, I don't have the money, bc this is the worst time of year for this shit. If you want to help a butch out, here are ways:

A tumor about the size of a large cherry tomato on the knee of an elderly statesdog. The dog is wearing a t-shirt with ghosts on it.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 17/09/2026

DAILY BIRD I have a bird feeder with a cool camera now. Follow me for at least one cool-ass bird a day. :]

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 16/09/2026

Yes, you are going to get BIRDS every morning now. Follow me for more BIRDS.

A black capped chickadee sitting at a bird feeder, taken by a feeder camera

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 16/09/2026

This house finch remains a bully. Also I love the slow-mo mode on the camera.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 15/09/2026

They saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe.

A male and female house finch looking towards the camera. The male is leaning in, the female seems more reserved.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 15/09/2026

We are having Bird Feeder Drama today, as this male house finch spent about an hour chasing off the chickadee and another house finch, only to suddenly fly off VERY fast. Just as I wondered why...

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 15/09/2026

This video was taken this morning by a neighbor less than ten blocks from our house. I am so tired of people blaming coyotes for pet death while letting their cats outside. Coyotes aren't the invasive species in that sentence.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 13/09/2026

... in the driveway, outside our bedroom window, calling to each other as they chased another cat. My poor lad lost his FUCKING MIND for about an hour after that. I can't even blame him. That was his Ancestral Enemy, close enough for him to spit out the window and hit them!

A mini Aussie shepherd and pibble mix the color of a pumpkin spice latte smiling

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 13/09/2026

I genuinely don't believe they can be. I used to REGULARLY hip-check a 50# dog who tried going for a run every time the door opened. She would get past me every so often, but... come on. If I could stop this dog from getting out? You can keep your fucking cats inside. (I miss that goofy girl.)

A very tall white human in jeans and a long sleeve jacket with a 50 lb brindled mutt sitting very happily in front of them.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 13/09/2026

Thank you!! And that means I got the look I was going for, bc the left is called Hypershift Nebula II - the back layer is a very fine holographic glitter. You can see the rainbow hypershift/prism effect better on Nebula #1 - the watch bezels have an open back so light can pass through.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 13/09/2026

These are 2 of my favorites - the opals are 2" tall. I did my best here, but it's nothing like what they look like in person.

A large pendant that looks like a faux watch setting with a resin opal in it featuring Trans Pride colors swirling over a hypershift rainbow background.

An ornate oval black metal setting with a green-yellow/green/copper-brown whorl of opal over a deep blue base. It looks like it should be called Pale Blue Dot, and it is.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 13/09/2026

We're probably looking at ~$50 for a large. They're sturdy cotton kippot which hold up well to wear and washing; you can easily wear them daily. Tall Wife has had this kippah for 10 years & 3 different sets of pronouns!

The back of a person's head with a large rainbow striped kippah on it.

Pre-T Spider leaning his head on Tall Wife's shoulder many years ago. Tall Wife is tired and has a shaggy beard and a patch jacket with antifascist patches on it.

The same kippah held in one hand with a High Holidays seder, picture dated Nov 19, 2017.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 12/09/2026

Y'ALL. I AM IN LOVE WITH THE @portlandfire.bsky.social WNBA MASCOT. Every girl in Portland wants a Rose stuffie for Christmas. Including Tall Wife, who literally gasped when she saw Rose. SHE BREATHES GLITTER.

Rose, the WNBA PDX Fire mascot. She is a fabulous hot pink dragon with a crown of roses.

Rose, the WNBA PDX Fire mascot. She is a fabulous hot pink dragon with a crown of roses. She has big wings and a big tail. She is dancing.

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