VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Shorter MAGA: "Smith knows Russiagate is a hoax! Just because Trump's kids were communicating with Russia for his campaign, that doesn't mean Trump knew anything!!" Also: "If Smith was in Atlanta FOR ANY REASON, then he MUST have been meeting with Fani Willis as part of a conspiracy! GOTCHA!!!" 000
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 26/09/2026The Rally's AI drive-thru assistant, after a simple order: "Would you like to add bacon for $1.69?" Wife: "No." AI: "Would you like to try-" Wife: "NOOOOO!" (Silence) Wife: "Did I hurt your feelings??" AI: "Please order whenever you're ready." We may have figured out how to beat this thing. 011
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Message to Republicans: None Of This... Is Normal... Mend Your country... 030
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 11/09/2026If I were writing all of this bullshit up as a screenplay: ----- SOLDIER approaches VOTER, holding his rifle readily. SOLDIER: You seem...nervous. Planning anything...fraudulent? Voter looks around. VOTER: (hushed) I made a promise to Trump to vote, but I'm not registered. Soldier looks torn... 030
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Shorter MAGA: "We love Trump because liberals are such whiny, delicate snowflakes!" Shorter Trump: "If I see anything on a map that reminds me of Mexico or Canada, I HAVE to change its name!" 030
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Everyone needs to look at the bright side here. Now that Lake Ontario is Lake America, we can change the mnemonic HOMES to the vastly more appropriate SHAME. 030
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Waiting for Trump to denounce Tim Curry because he was a doctor and wanted "Transylvania for everyone". 021
Reposted by VagrantGuruPenny @pennyweddle.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Please vote for my photo in the America’s Favorite Photos competition 🤩 americasfavoritephotos.com/v/vfgmvbamericasfavoritephotos.comLike this photo? Vote now!America’s Favorite Photos: Discover your new favorite photos! 002
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 07/03/2026"So here's my pitch...a presidential cabinet filled with 'creevil', that's crazy/evil, and even if someone gets kicked out, someone else in the cabinet can grab their creevil force and become even MORE crazy and evil..." bsky.app/profile/atru... 121
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 31/01/2026Proposed book title for the story of how the DoJ covered up Trump's sexual crimes: "Mushroom Cloud" 061
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 20/12/2025Doesn't releasing a bunch of black pages seem sort of "DEI" for this administration? 082
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 09/12/2025"One" was the saddest experience that I ever knew. Then Pandora played the "single" version, and now I feel even worse for that one. 000
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 08/11/2025Going to go out on a limb a little, but when I saw the "OMG" reactions to Schumer's offer to end the shutdown, my first thought was "he knows it's a bad idea but that Repubs will shoot it down and look ridiculous." Then Repubs shot it down. Not a big Schumer fan, but I think he played them today. 041
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 23/10/2025Shorter MAGA: "Dijon mustard?? Obama I such an ELITIST!!!" Also: "Who cares about people not getting food assistance?Just wait until you see Trump's all-gold BALLROOM!" 000
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 09/09/2025Let's say that this whole Epstein deal is a plot line in a book you're writing. The idea of the birthday card being fake pops into your head. Now ask: is this workable? What questions need to be answered to suspend disbelief? WHO would do it? HOW would it be done? WHY would anyone do it? 020
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 24/07/2025Watching this Epstein debacle is like a version of "The Wizard of Oz" where the "ignore the man behind the curtain!" bit lasts for three hours. 120
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 19/07/2025If your edible is short on the active ingredient of LDS, try polygummy or biggummy. 020
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 18/07/2025Today's factoid: Dr. Frankenstein was the first scientist to harness and unleash green energy. 010
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 09/07/2025Shorter MAGA: "Mehhhhh who cares if Musk starts his own party? He'll draw independents and Democrats that like electric cars!" Shorter Musk: "Look, now my artificial intelligence program thinks like HITLER!!! How cool is that??" 020
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 18/06/2025Fun factoid: The Isley Brothers had a forgotten member, Mos, who dropped out of the act after the flop of their debut album, "The Five of Scum and Villainy". 010
Reposted by VagrantGuruVagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 24/02/2025Trump : Musk :: Randall Flagg : Trashcan Man 121
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 29/03/2025The way things are going, don't be surprised if an upcoming news cyle is full of Trumphumpers being angry at Jesus for taking attention away from Hitler's birthday. 061
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 19/03/2025Shorter Trump: "It's illegal for journalists to write bad things about me or Aileen Cannon! These protests are illegal! This boycott is illegal! Democrats are the enemy within! There is no law broken if I save the country!" Also:"The people I'm deporting are BAD and you have to BELIEVE ME!!!" 021
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 26/02/2025BREAKING NEWS: Trump reveals that actual head of DOGE is named George Glass and "you wouldn't know him". (Would you really be surprised?) 140
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 25/02/2025Shorter Musk "OMG there are millions and millions of government employees, it's just too many!" Also: "Look, I need each and every one of you government employees to respond to my email so I can evaluate your individual performance and value to the workforce!" 010
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 22/02/2025Shorter Trump, 2017-today: "The Russia investigation was unfair! Rigged! Russia Russia Russia hoax!!!" Shorter MAGA: Democrats are complaining about DOGE! That PROVES that they're corrupt!" 020
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 20/02/2025Kevin McCarthy: "It’s failing. What did they do? They doubled down. Tim Walz just lost for vice president. So where’d they go? They went and picked their new party chair from the land of Tim Walz and Ilhan Omar." Says the guy from California, the land of Kamala Harris. These people are not smart. 020
VagrantGuru @vagrantguru.bsky.social · 20/02/2025Shorter MAGA: "All of these big cities are run by corrupt Democrats! This has to STOP!" Also: "Well of course it makes perfect sense that Eric Adams should have all the charges against him dropped, because Trump says so!"🤪 031
