iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

The Ewoks have gone back on their word. Obviously, no one could have seen this coming for the tenth time.

[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

We have made an amazing deal with the Ewoks. They will no longer attack our outposts and passing trade traffic in exchange for us rebuilding their homes, releasing their frozen cookie stash, and ignoring their support of the rebel groups. This is what victory looks like, ladies and gentlemen.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

Didn't mean to be off system for so long, but my password backup was in an old Astromech unit that just wandered off with some Cinnabon-looking lady.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

As the most transparent Empire in history, we're committed to revealing the full Death Star plans to show the rumors of this so-called "super weapon" are false. So, without further ado, here they are:

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Looks like the Wookies and Ewoks are fighting again.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

A long time ago… in a subcontinent far, far away… India deployed the Death Cow. Pakistan countered with the Nuclear Camel. Peace talks failed after Jabba ate the treaty. So they settled it the traditional way— Zero-gravity cricket.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but there's a lot of talk among the stormtroopers that the real reason we blew up Alderaan is due to unfavorable rulings by the planet judiciary.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Been a while since I made a post. *ahem* Die, rebel scum! ... Nailed it.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

I'm sure the Emperor will jump on the bandwagon and launch Sithcoin after this nonsense.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Anyone hear about the destruction of Alderaan? No? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

Lose one little droid and it's all "oOOoooOooh I'm gonna force choke you and throw you out the airlock." Screw you, you asthmatic light brite.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

This is a very weird day.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Shit. Those *were* the droids I was looking for.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

Fun fact: The cantina band was actually going to be named The Queefers before settling on Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes as it was already taken by the cast of The View.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

Are the app crashes a reminder feature to get off the phone or a bug?

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Ya know, it would have been normal for Luke and Leia to be weirded out after finding out they're siblings... but they weren't... *galactic banjo*

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

Dependa on the loose flirting with new personnel. Last seen in trash compactor 3263827 near the Detention Block AA-23.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

This app crashes more than a drunk podracer.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

Imperial commissary has allowed the sale of raw blue milk. No thanks, ya nerf herders.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

I bet Yoda lived in a swamp to cover up his horrific little baby farts.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

So, can you, like, unfreeze just the lower half of someone in carbonite or...? Asking for a lonely friend.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Getting a lot of complaints in HR about Darth's chokey thing.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 30/11/2024

My safe word is the Chewbacca yell.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

This Thanksgiving the Empire is thankful for your unwavering obedience to the cause and the fact that no one ever questions what happened to Alderaan.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Be a responsible pet owner. Spay or neuter your Ewok *before* you end up with an unwanted litter.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

What's the deductible on a Death Star, anyway?

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

Anyone know how to cover up a small thermal exhaust port? Asking for a friend.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

Found out Vader stops the finger-chokey thing real fast if you whisper, "harder" with intense eye contact.

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[USSF] Mook @ussf.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

The universe is 13.8 billion years old and still figuring it out. You'll be OK.

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