iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 18m

Im concerned about the guy Warlock 2 turned into a Picasso sculpture

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 11h

if you want your elevator to have real human music in it, consider hiring me to write some songs. Samples: -Funky Elevator- Elevator elevator What's that funky sound? Elevator elevator slamming into the ground -Elev8 U- Look to your left, Look to your right One of you folks, is gonna die tonight

170

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I made a wish with a monkey's paw and nothing bad happened because, if I'm being honest with myself, the father of a monkey can't fuck my life up that bad when it's locked up in a zoo

240

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

it should be illegal for commercials to have any sound whatsoever or smiling people

170

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

the constitution demands cool and unusual punishment

0111

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Nate Bargatze? Choosin' Texas? my brain injury coma is getting worse hope someone pulls the plug soon

181

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Open role for Data Scientist. Requirements: 7 seasons of star trek the next generation, nice-to-have: 3 seasons Picard

0110

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

glad it's still acceptable to bring my good-luck 4500 straw semen tank to the interview

Screenshot of product from sementanks.com
There's a squat off-white container next to a couple of cylindrical metal tubes.
BEST SELLER
Liquid Nitrogen Semen Storage Tank. 4500 straw - 11 week hold

070

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

new cheap roku TV remote has a button you can accidentally press that makes blades spring out of all sides

1100

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

gonna be so funny if AI actually creates star trek technology and we have absolute morons flying around the galaxy

260

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

A father and son godzilla are in a car crash and are rushed to the hospital. The father godzilla dies. The boy godzilla is taken to the operating room and the surgeon says, "I can’t operate on this boy godzilla, because he’s my son." How is this possible?

3150

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I heard melania trump speak perfect english in a bronx accent when she got pissed at a parking valet

0110

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

now that's what I call movie magic: in their commercials, instead of real cheese Applebee's uses elephant cum

041

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I'm not gen x but I can smell when someone is using a garden hose from a great distance

0151

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

McConnell's first public appearance in months make the Senator the first person to survive what hill staffers are calling "The Fateful Nunchucks" that were found in the Senate cloakroom lost & found

070

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

starting a "reverse Amish" community with mandatory 16 hours/day screen time and once a month we demolish someone's garage

44110

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I have a relative who is unimpressed by LLMs because it's making more computer shit inside a computer and it's sensible that a computer should be able to make more computer shit in the computer

180

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

DSM-5? Sorry bud I dont know all the star treks

090

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I thought jack ruby already took down the Kennedy sender?

051

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

if you fed a medieval peasant doritos they'd probably complain it doesnt taste like blood & shit like their regular food

182

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I cured my colorbindedness by sheer force of will

051

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

um for the 100th time, palestine was the doctor's friend

021

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

the Toyota Preus, for drivers that pre-cum a lot

051

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

the sperm that made me definitely Mr Magoo'ed its way to the ovum

291

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

on one hand it's inevitable but on the other hand there's nothing you can do about it

050

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

what are the odds all of this "FBI changed its beastiality policy" is because of a fraternity hazing incident

190

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

make sure to keep up your KPIs while you're having fun on LinkedIn this week ✅ K ickin it with the crew ✅ P ussy ✅ I nternet surfing

060

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

kids today dont understand. when will smith came out singing "wicki wicki wild wicky wild" no one knew you could make sounds like that with your mouth

070

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

why does AI get a pass on its Obama voice

130

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I'm doing Roko's Basilisk to Tilly Norwood

010

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

me: do you know this guy, Gary Mucus? wife (quickly swiping off a stack of message notifications from "Hot Mucus Guy Whos Gonna Make My Husband SICK"): uh who what now?

051

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

it's impossible to please my neighbors. they complain when I dont clean up my huge dog's shits. they complain when I collect all of the piles and incinerate them in my burn barrel.

030

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

dont read the "brown post" going around unless you want to shit your pants

250

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Horny Stark the famous inventor, imprisoned in a remote cave, makes an advanced fuck doll out of a car battery and salvaged Resusci Annie for the sex-starved men of the region

060

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

blue eyes are demonic and the Vice President should NOT have them

060

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

welp sydney sweeney is in the news again. this time it's an advertisement for a sports betting website where she's shooting ping pong balls out of her vag

080

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

You gotta come back for one last job -me to my chef knife when I clean it up only to realize there's more cutting to do

030

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

detective (into radio): ah shit, the target made me detective: it's my father

041

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

do these AI companies have the opposite of an NDA when you leave, like you have to say "shit is totally fucken nuts in there, guys" to get your severance

170

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

today would be a great day to turn into a vast grey goo

150

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

in several pictures circulating this weekend The President is seen as having "canoe hand" that could only result from hours of rowing or jacking off

060

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I saw a dude earlier and thought "Reacher" he wasn't a giant guy but i'm pretty sure he was a drifter and veteran

060

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

how are you going to grow up to be like Reacher if you don't eat your 3rd chicken breast lunch?

0121

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

as a caterer it's really annoying when people add +1 to their group size for "the devil"

070

Landfill Collins @uneasylover.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

if I had an insurance company the mascot would be Fate The Life Fucker who fucks up people's lives during the commercials

1110