iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by the freak console (6/100)

★ ﾟ*｡🐰🎃🍁 •:*

the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 3h

$17.00 minimum wage, approximating an average of 6 hour shifts, for five days a week, four weeks per month, is $2000 per month rounding down. I'm going to have approximately $300 of windfall every month, by default. If I can keep this pace up, then I'll be set.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 3h

☔ I've done the math. My half of rent, internet, power, and a generous personal grocery budget is approximately $1700 per month, rounding up. Look. At. This. Schedule. The blue dots are my shifts.

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Reposted by the freak console (6/100)

EstherMika - FREE PLUSHIE POTION IN BIO @esthermika.bsky.social · 9h

coming out of life-long depression is funny 'cause you'll be like "wow, i actually feel great" and you'll be three weeks without showering, living off of frozen meals, no friends in the same country as you, BUT ☝️ at least you cleaned your room and remembered to brush your teeth in the morning.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 8h

☔ I'm rereading the notice they slipped under my door. This is occurring from 9am to "Finished". For all I know, it won't stop until after work. I've found where the cats are hiding, and I've given them some treats for being so brave. Bonzu's in the spare bathroom, and Teddy's under my bed.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 9h

mmng yheyre testing an alarmmmm 🥞 it's fire stuff I was warned about but it soudns bad ass poor cats

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 10h

guhhhh woke up too early they're herrreee

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 16h

it's an informed consent hormone clinic, so I'd hope they'd know a bit more about this stuff than I do? 🥞 but uh, I guess coming prepared and self-advocating... proooobably couldn't hurt, ehe thanks for the feedback! I didn't know depression could be a symptom! ⊙⁠.⁠☉

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 17h

funny thing, that always seems to happen on special days for me. another date it always happens is April 10th, my birthday! so yeah, no big dolly gifts this year, but we'll all get together for a fun party game on the weekend. everyone's got irons in the fire, y'know? in the meantime... yay! girl

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 17h

other than the surprise contact, today was pretty fun! 🥞 I got to spend some lovely time with a friend, I watched some horror movies with my fiancee, I watched my dear play citizen sleeper (lem and mina ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ ), I ate some great pasta and then I got to watch the triple iii showcase!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 21h

if i ever say i don't have ptsd, or i'm not traumatized, or anything like that, remind me of today, when my codependent ex reached out, and i feel like i'm looking down the edge of a cliff. this is exactly what i felt that night i kind of blacked out, it's the same feeling. i have to throw up, too.🖐️

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 23h

but also, we're a pretty chronically understudied demographic... but also also, i really don't wanna be that one person who acts like i know more than a doctor! does anyone have any anecdotes about prog? did you stop, and was it good? weh, i just want to have boobs (╥﹏╥)

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 23h

there's been a change in fullness, i think? they totally look rounder. but they're about the same size! maybe i'm just not eating enough? it looks like my weight hasn't changed much either. at the same time, i asked my clinician, and she said there wasn't any scientific evidence to support cycling

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 23h

oh, while i'm thinking about it! 🥞 i'm gonna talk to my clinician about e1/e2 oral dosage stuff, so... should i ask her about progesterone, too? i see tons of girls say you have to cycle it, and like... when i took my yearly progress pic, i noticed there hasn't been a lot of growth

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Reposted by the freak console (6/100)

InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Remember, embodying the spirit of straight animals is actually more gay.

A soft-focus image of a bunny with green text overlay. The text reads: "WARRIOR AFFIRMATIONS. I AM A BUNNY. I can hop as high as a bunny and be as cute as a bunny, but that does NOT mean I am as GAY as a BUNNY."

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

it's been a pretty slow day. spent a lot of it in bed. I think it's nice to spend my HRTversary so... lazy? we're watching a horror movie now, and I'll probably do chores later. maybe going out for sushi later can be my celebration. 🖐️

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

huh... i knew about the whole first-class metabolism thing, but e1 and e2 is new. I've got a meeting with my clinician in a week, I'll ask them about getting my e2 up. thanks! 🖐️

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ball blam burglerber @gaelicgalpal.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

toby fox has an ungodly level of restraint for not putting this thing in deltarune

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

i'm so proud of myself for taking the first step, despite it all! there's a lot in this world that tries to convince you not to transition, and it took a lot of work to move past it and even consider it for myself. after that... i pulled, and it came right out #zigzagwins here's to many more years!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

to wrap this up... i'm happy to be alive. i never really thought i could do that before. i thought life was something you tolerated until something kills you. but, no, it's good! and fun! bad girl days are better than good boys days! i always say this, but i never imagined it would be this good

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

i'll take a proper progress pic tomorrow, and uh, don't expect me to post it anywhere public, eheh. but just from looking down, i'm so much bigger than i used to be! and my skin is so much softer and textured better, and my hair is so light and fluffy and whispy on my legs... <3

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

i mean, yeah, i'd love it if i was less boxy, and bustier, yadda yadda. but considering i had a flat chest two years ago, and i only really started eating as much as i should... oh, god, this month. wow, my last apartment was really stifling, i was totally afraid of using the kitchen! •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

...compared to some of the girls i talk to. going by my last blood work results, it's somewhere between 300-500 pmol/L (80-130 pg/ml), so i could totally bump that up a bit. maybe a sublingual thing would be good? but, honestly, i can't say i'm not satisfied with my results so far!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

as it stands now, i'm trying to see if i can get my dosage upped. right now, i take 2mg of estradiol in the morning, and then 4mg at night, along with 100mg prog, and like... one quarter of a cyproterone every 3rd day. i wanted to see if 8mg/day could get my numbers up, since they're low...

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

there was a buffer between figuring it out and actually transitioning, of course. i talked to my doctor, who said i needed to talk to a specific clinic in the city... which is an informed consent clinic. he watches "liberal gets owned" compilations, so of course he's stupid

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

i didn't know how grandma would react at the time, but i didn't want to find out, either! knowing her, she'd probably just be ignorant and passive aggressive without actually confronting me about anything (i told her after i moved, and yeah, that's what she did, ehehe)

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

like, yeah, in a social context, a lot of masculinity in general is bad. but even ignoring the power dynamics and the societal enabling of abuse, i still don't want to be whatever a Good Man is so, i decided to move out! i'd probably still live with grandma if i hadn't. ugh, scary... (⁠˘⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠˘⁠)

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

and then, it finally dawns on me. me, specifically these aren't things a cis person thinks i was always mad about gender roles, and toxic masculinity, and how the patriarchy grooms men to be bad people. but i never really stopped to think about how much i hate being here for personal reasons

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

i went on and on about how i hated everything about it. my face, my build, and yes, my sex. i hated all the things people assumed about me because i was a man. crossing the street because they think i'm a threat, treating me nonchalantly and expecting the same back, the limits in fashion, the...

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

two years, huh? 🥞 i still remember going on a walk on a cold night, hating myself for... most things. guilt about how i treated people, hating the way i was socially neglected, the cycle of isolation and mistreatment, and... my body. how much i hated my body

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

It's been non stop. I'm only halfway done, and I feel as exhausted as I would after a full shift at my last location. 🥩 We can take it. There's a lot we can take. That doesn't mean I'll be happy running myself thin every night. A month or two. We'll see how well I'm compensated for this.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

really quick before work... my HRTversary is tomorrow. 🥞 isn't that crazy? I'll have more to say tomorrow, but for now... I'm just proud of myself! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

oh right I forgot to mention that this can happen because parasym mostly influences your pacemaker while sympathetic influences vascular muscles directly anyway did you know diastole flow directly changes systolic strength? Google the frank-starling mechanism for more info! stay cool, blood freaks!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

going from sleep straight into conscious feelings of fear, basically, shifts gears so fast that sympathetic flares up before parasym cools down. that means parasym is keeping your heart rate cool and low, but sympathetic NEEDS the blood somewhere, so instead of going faster it pumps harder!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

you see, you can probably guess that nightmares trigger a lot of adrenaline and norepinephrine, because stress/fear means you need to MOVE and that's sympathetic job the thing is, while you sleep, the parasympathetic nervous system is the most dominant, for passive body stuff and rest and such

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

fun fact, whenever you have "nightmares" like that, you'd expect heart rate to increase, right? but no! heart rate usually increases slightly, but what really goes through the roof is contractility! it has a lot to do with your buddy suddenly shifting gears when waking up

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

first, good news! I think I got a reasonable amount of sleep last night! probably like 8 hours but I dunno maybe 7? 🕯️ but the good news is, I had a dream where an in campus liqueur store burned down with me inside it, and then it spread to the rest of the campus. there were SO MANY charred bodies!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

so my supervisor says i was like 5 minutes late coming off my break, and i went to her office to talk it out. turns out the person who told her i was late was just. wrong anyway we were both like "hey. this is not an important job, lives arent at stake. im new here, lets go easy on each other"

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

💿real quick when I have more time remind me to talk about the whole thing where im late coming off my break and ask my super about it

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I suppose I can't blame her for not intuiting the differences. Perhaps I should have gone through an aptitude test, like a language placement exam? Also, I have my blood work followup scheduled.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

☔ We sell coffee at work. Individual cups. I had to have it explained to me, by the customer, that I fetch the cup and the pod for them from behind the express cash. She was very pleasant and patient, but this is what I meant when I asked my supervisor if there's anything I should know.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

☔ It astounds me how well Bel functions as a cook. What can she do to KD that I can't? Given the circumstances, I agree with the choice to finish our food before trying to contact the dentist or the clinic.

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Reposted by the freak console (6/100)

Dizzyspells @dizzyspellss.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

a little performance act dolly named Celery, specialises in tomfoolery. I might make the hands a lot bigger they're somewhat stubby for a mannequin style doll here.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

☔ I've had a rather productive morning. I fed the cats, cleaned the litter box, did the dishes, and now I'm making some morning pasta. I need to go shopping soon, perhaps I'll pick up a few things after work today. More frozen food and pasta should tide me over until Thanksgiving.

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I slept... a little better this time? 🥞 for sure more than six! maybe I should seek out one of those sleep study things everyone is talking about nowadays, especially if it doesn't get better with settling in. stress was like, the whole hypothesis!

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

remind me I need a new water bottle. even if I find my old one, it's a rule that you can only use transparent bottles. I guess I get to buy more stickers now? 🖐️

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the freak console (6/100) @trancakes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

anyway, May's here. that means I'm doing a lot better. well, I'm better at my job. I'm really exhausted, though. I think just from how much I slept? I hope the cats are doing alright. and my friends. and my ears. and my budget. and my schedule. ha, I wonder why I was so anxious earlier?

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