Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Luck be not with me, as mine jewels lay wasted with naught to show for it. At-least the faire poinsettia ribbon of Nice Nature be with me in these times of grief. 110
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026An apple a day keeper the apothecary away. A pint a night keeps the guard all right. 1150
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Drop me bill in the lake, and some bint comes out offering me a bill made of silver or my old bill. Naturally, I want my good steel bill back. But it doesn't stop there, aye. She gives me a bill made of gold in it's stead. Gold! The softest metal I know! Anyway, I sold it at market. 0230
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Chain-Maile:Thou hast been beset cursed words! Forward this missive unto 5 of thy kith, else thy fields dry to ruin and thy home anathema to health! 2163
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Aye, armor will protect thee from the slings and arrows of men. But they still smart, I assure thee. 1120
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Too many sleeping potion overdoses these days. Not enough Prince Charmings to undo the Faerun fold. 2180
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 19/09/2026The greatest lie every told be "it is every man for himself". Nay, ser. A man by himself in the woods is a deadman. A village endures together. 0344
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Back in my day, fighters stood next to their opponent and swung until someone (they or it) went down. I know not of "misty step" or "leap", or whatever madness "flanking" be. 0295
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Such is the pallor of undeath, of which many vampires have 010
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I have been informed that the vampire lord known as McConnell hath returned from his deathrest. 1210
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 13/09/2026If thou partook in the brown moon leaf, thou mayest want to see an apothecary 1212
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Ay, the purser hath given me mine salary. Time to live like a princeling for but a few days!!! 1151
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 11/09/2026By the stars! The Dark Brotherhood hath struck down Charles! 051
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 10/09/2026A wiser man than I said that every mistake be a lesson in life. Incidentally, I am quite educated in life. 1210
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 10/09/2026HEART-WARMING: Local mages discover new way to light human organs aflame while still within the body. 1417
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Nay, nay. Come what may. If he was so loved, none would dare pick his purse. 020
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 09/09/2026A lord, a bastard, and a villain walk into a tavern. The keeper sayeth; "drinking alone again, mi'lord?" 1316
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 06/09/2026There be a few mages who stand near the wall and watch which ships come down the river with great excitement. I envy their passion 0285
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Plenty of millet, aye, but the smokehouses hath not saved much yet. 040
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I be about to learn if I can fit a nap into mine lunch 070
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Nay, I don't want a "working lunch", I want a "lunch break". Those be two different things 🙄 48119562
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 03/09/2026We're seeing fairy triangles. Is everything all well in the faewild or...? 3211
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 02/09/2026We get sieges once a year, and the damned purser still wont buy the watch decent mail. 0190
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Unrelated: Are you a rogue without any parents? Do you have skills in assassination? The king is currently seeking applicants in a new venture. 1150
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Announcement: The king has declared Ghakgore Limbripper as the rightful winner and besieger of our city. As such, he has offered (1) mulligan to allow Limbripper to return in one year's time after restoring his strength and resume his rightful siege of our very wealthy and barely defended town. 0111
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 31/08/2026There be a wise word I once heard: men will hear what they want to hear. That is our hope. 020
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Update: they be fighting now over the right to attack our city 2230
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 30/08/2026ANNOUNCEMENT: The king, in his majesty, has decided Terror-Lord Amrik the Befouled as the rightful and true besieger of our glorious city, and not the pretender Grakgore Limbripper. Only once the pretender is cast away shall we enjoy a honorable siege of our most wealthy city. 2250
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 30/08/2026ANNOUNCEMENT: The king, in his majesty, has decided Grakgore Limbripper as the rightful and true besieger of our glorious city, and not the pretender Terror-Lord Amrik the befouled. Only once the pretender is cast away shall we enjoy a honorable siege of our most wealthy city. 0130
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Siege update: a second army hath come to siege the city. All parties involved appear quite surprised and confused on how to proceed forward. 1282
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Like the heat coming off bread, like bread, and uh... Hungry. 110
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Just watch. Something silly is going to happen and the siege will be over in a week. 3170
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Naw, "doesn't reflect the vigilance of his majesty", who I imagine has spirited away already 120
