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Totes McGotes

@totesmcgotes.bsky.social
583 followers 546 following 1.1K posts

I must remain anonymous on here for work reasons. You’re looking at my cat.

PostsRepliesMedia
Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
You talkin about this guy?
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
We have a visitor
My two year old son and tuxedo cat look out the screen door at a neighbor’s cat who has come to say hello. He is gray with a white belly and is friendly.
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Is it this
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Props to @rothschildmd.bsky.social who continues to fight the good fight in the fascist brain microwave. Here he is summing up all of the right wing lunacy around COVID for the past five years. A *stunning* number of contradictory beliefs, all held at once, without evidence.
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Sincere post: Do you ever take stock of what you have and just feel so incredibly grateful? I do, a couple times a week.
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock saying “I should have worked more” on his deathbed
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
“I mean, we’re not criminals!” If the shoe fits, Marco.
Rubio wearing Florsheim shoes Trump bought him that are obviously three sizes too big
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Well then I’m the biggest queer on Earth!
Todd Packer from The Office saying he’s the biggest queer on Earth
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
That account had bangers.
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
There are so many wonderful jokes, especially standing out for me are “it should have gone to the other boy,” “I should have worked more,” and “No you don’t, Oprah.” But i always come back to this one:
A screenshot of 30 Rock in which Tracy Jordan says to Liz Lemon “Whoa, you watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand,” and then the back of his hand is revealed to have a note taped to it that reads, “please be nice to me.”
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
The U.S. President is explicitly calling on American Catholics to choose between him and their Pope.
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Taken down now
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
He’s talking about full scale nuclear weapons, isn’t he?
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
An excerpt from Ta-Nehisi Coates’ famous Atlantic magazine essay “The First White President.” (Which is itself an excerpt from one of his books, I believe)
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
The Giant from Twin Peaks saying “it is happening again.”
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
It’s Venezuela
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
What
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
There’s even a very normal podcast to go with the normal website
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
That’s not how prices work, they go up and down.
CPI chart showing prices going up and then down over the last 5 years
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 05/01/2026
I think buttons would like Tybalt
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
Post your favorite Star Trek character, wrong answers only
Yogurt from Spaceballs
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity
Prince, exemplifying the maximum possible amount of positive, raw, charged, masculine sexuality you’ve ever seen in your filthy life
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Yes indeed #tuxedocatsofbluesky
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Cheesesteak from Angelo’s
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
My son slept through it:
Me watching the sunrise in Sedona, AZ with my infant son asleep, head resting on my shoulder.
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Sedona is so beautiful that my wife had a religious experience watching the sunrise. I give that place my highest possible endorsement.
Sunrise over Sedona, AZ
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Every day another wonderful secret
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
It is now illegal to disagree with the president
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
These are real, unaltered screenshots:
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
The fascists are as boring and stupid in the 21st century as they were in the 20th
A Homeland Security tweet in which Merry from Lord of the Rings says “there won’t be a shire, Pippin”A Homeland Security tweet with a photo of Mel Gibson from The Patriot that just reads “send them back”A Homeland Security tweet that shows the Nine Ringwraiths closing in and reads “the enemies are at the gates” which makes no fucking sense because what gates? absolute fucking goons
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
This fucking guy makes my job so much harder
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
Stormfront from The Boys
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Incredible posting, sir
A post with two typos on ExTwitter from Elon Musk that reads “Sometimes I say things so profound that people that it’s stupid. And sometimes I say things so stupid that people thinks it’s profound.”
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
We moved further into South Philly. Pretty 360 degree view from our rooftop. That’s Citizens Bank Park there at the end!
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Happy first birthday to my son, the world’s number one baby!
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
The @theonion.com fake ads don’t miss
Phony ad in the print edition of The Onion: the company Covenant Eyes saying “We know about your secret iPad, Mike Johnson.”
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
My beautiful wife and son enjoying a picnic. Philly has wonderful parks!
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
This fuckin bozo
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
Tybalt says hi everyone
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 07/07/2025
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 23/06/2025
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
Omg ExTwitter has gone even more insane
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
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Totes McGotes @totesmcgotes.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
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