iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 12h

I love movies but what I do in film journalism & adjacent fields is NOT a hobby. This is my livelihood. This is how I make a living. I can't offer you my time, experience & expertise for free. You aren't entitled to approach me under the guise of "supporting independent film" if you can't pay me.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 12h

Paraphrasing: "Hi, we'd love to work with you, could you do this gig for us if you're available?" [Gig requires knowledge, hrs of prep, in-person time, commute." "Thanks. I'm available & so happy to be asked. May I ask what the fee is?" "We are nonprofit, we don't pay." This is honestly offensive.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/09/2026

Man Confident He Would’ve Been Brave Enough To Send Thumbs Down Emoji In Cornell Group Chat

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I saw that @newsweek.com was hiring an Associate News Editor and I couldn't believe the job description. So I looked it up online myself and here is the screenshot. We are a dying species. We won't be able to survive the "AI Revolution." 🤦🏻‍♀️

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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/09/2026

“Upon reviewing the disciplinary action we took toward the seven Chi Phi brothers who allegedly gang-raped a student for over seven hours, we have concluded that the mandated two-page minimum on essays was woefully inadequate.” — Michael Kotlikoff, Cornell president

theonion.com

Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future

ITHACA, NY—Acknowledging serious missteps in their handling of a 2024 campus sexual assault case, administrators at Cornell University vowed Tuesday that, going forward, rapists would be forced to wri...

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Moraa Unredacted @omoraa.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Don’t make legends out of them by calling them the Cornell 7. Call them what they are: the Cornell rapists.

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nick @unionnick.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

On the *same day* the Cornell Seven drugged and raped Jane Doe, Cornell banned four students (including the President of Cornell JVP) from campus for three years for nonviolent, pro-Palestine protests. The same Cornell officials let the rapists off with apology essays.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The craziest, most unhinged film discourse online deemed Promising Young Woman a pro-police film (what?!?!!) & said it hates women/is TOO harsh toward the female dean (an awful male critic said this to me). It's legit to dislike a film but you all sounded STUPID with these points. #Cornell

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Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

James Gray's Paper Tiger (tonight @ NYFF64): For me, his best--an exceptionally mature, grounded, emotional crime/family drama. Beautiful work w/ actors: Adam Driver is characteristically great, Scarlett Johansson is impeccable in a surprising character role, and Miles Teller does career-best work.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Sure I have little patience for ppl right now, but the lack of ability to LISTEN these days is truly driving me up the wall. "Hi, I'm calling to cancel a reservation I have between x-y dates. Your online system isn't working, so I'm calling to cancel." "Certainly, let me check our availability." 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Eight years ago, me & my baby. ♥️🐾🌈

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I am truly sorry for your loss too... 💔🌈

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Thankful to everyone who weighed in. ♥️🙏🏼

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

It fucking sucks and I basically want to die.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

People who said goodbye to their dogs before: does the guilt ever go away? It was 100% Audrey's time, but I can't help but feel guilty, like I didn't help her & I gave up on her. Please don't drop in with explanations like "you did the right thing, it's an act of love etc." I still feel like shit.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Anything you wouldn't say to a person who just lost a human child, do not say to a person who only just lost their dog. (Including and especially: "will you get another dog?") Man, people are evil.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I wrote my eulogy for Audrey, and tried to pour my forever love for her into every word of it. Please read, if you can, in these three posts. We love you so, so much Audrey. Our hearts are yours forever... ♥️🪽🐾🌈

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Tasha, thank you. I read this sobbing (and crying is my only outlet). Thank you. 💔

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Tasha Robinson @tasharobinson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Today I happened to run across this Rudyard Kipling poem about the experience of losing a dog. I don't know if it will help at all, or if someone else's pain is too much right now. I do know it's proof that a great artist understood what you're feeling, and felt it too. poets.org/poem/power-dog

poets.org

The Power of the Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way From men and women to fill our day; And when we are certain of sorrow in store, Why do we always arrange for more? Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware Of g...

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Not only am I convinced that I will never feel joy again, but I also think I no longer deserve joy or happiness with my baby gone.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This time of night is the toughest. And there is nothing I can do about it... 💔

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Nemorous @nemorous.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

❤️

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

In addition to navigating his own immense grief, my husband is dealing with my extreme lows, making sure we have a functioning home & a full fridge, cooking for me, and holding my hand & soul through it all. It's a privilege to call him my life partner, in good times & bad. ♥️🙏🏼

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

May our doggos rest in peace... ♥️🙏🏼

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Shit is so, so hard. Thank you. And a special thank you for sharing your love for Clovis here. He sounds like the best of gentlemen and may he rest in peace with his favorite treats forever. ♥️

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Matt, thank you. ♥️🙏🏼

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The intention was to "cheer me up" apparently, and I don't think they understand to this day why that was deeply offensive. In retrospect, that was the beginning of the end with that friend. Not being on the same page about grief can have outcomes like this sometimes, as we see in movies often...

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I can say by experience that Western cultures are tragically far less equipped to handle other people's grief compared to, for instance, where I'm from. I'm still not over a friend here posting an old picture of us having martinis on insta the day after my Turkish home got flattened by earthquakes.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

In today's world, anything that means you might be a thinking and feeling human being with real human priorities makes you a nuisance basically. 🥺

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

It's a very lonely place. Still, I'm grateful that the messages we've received so far mostly have been thoughtful. Heard horror stories from others, like being asked, "will you get another dog?" The person who ever says that crap to me shouldn't expect to keep their teeth or nose in tact.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

"Disenfranchised grief" is a new-to-me concept—according to the therapist I spoke to, this is apparently what we're now experiencing after Audrey, w/ people both acknowledging our grief & expecting it to be different from when a human loved one dies. Like we can and should quickly fix it.

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Tomorrow will be the fourth. Social media'ing instead of sleeping as I don't feel like waking up to another miserable Audrey-less day. Same way I don't wanna leave my apartment so I don't have to come back to an Audrey-less emptiness. This fucking pain... 💔

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

In 2020/21 (Covid year), we @ the @nyfcc.bsky.social put together a video awards ceremony w/ a reel to intro ourselves in short clips. This was mine. Look at my beautiful baby Audrey & her "enthusiasm" to be on camera. Rest in peace my sweet girl. You brought joy, beauty, warmth & sass everywhere. ♥️

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Among my favorite pics of Audrey & @eal7.bsky.social; 2 of them sleeping on the couch, taken shortly after we adopted her in 2013 when we "had" rules like, "she can't sleep w/ us, she won't be allowed on furniture." She slept with us & climbed on any furniture she wanted her whole life of course. ♥️

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

And also because I have to eat -- freelance/contract life means no paid leave, ever. But all I want to do is pull the sheets over my head, sleep and cry for months. This is excruciating. 2/2

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Even some who say "you lost a family member" don't seem to understand this pain...unless they're devoted to a dog themselves, and/or experienced the same pain. Audrey's passing payalyzed me. I'm starting to accept work, to go to screenings to feel & seem normal. 1/2

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Tomris Laffly @tomilaffly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I need everything to slow down...

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