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Verified Tom Carpenter

@tomcarpenter.bsky.social
184 followers 93 following 1K posts

Chronicler of the Apocalypse. Wearing flip-flops on the subway is unsanitary.

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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 1h
Well, could we put him in jail during the lame duck session? After a trial and due process, of course. Or, maybe he’s an illegal. His name ends in a vowel. That’s suspicious. Maybe put him in prison in South Sudan until we get to the bottom of this. Forget what I said about due process.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 17h
Watch this.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Because he is. That’s what Adderall adicts do. They lose control of their bowels. And then a girl named Natalie has to clean them up at the end of the day. But she doesn’t mind. She loves to wallow in shit.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The GOP has been the pro-child abuse party for a very long time.
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 06/10/2026
Fox News gave Dennis Hastert, whom a federal judge called a “serial child molester,” a warm “In Memoriam” sendoff.
meidasnews.com
Fox News Runs ‘In Memoriam’ for Serial Child Molester Dennis Hastert
The network gave the disgraced former Republican House speaker a solemn televised sendoff, describing his sexual abuse of teenage boys as “allegations” that merely “tainted” his reputation.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This must make a terrible mess in his diaper. I almost feel bad that Natalie will have to clean that up tonight…
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
What a mess in his diaper that must make. Poor Natalie having to clean it up…
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Not a huge fan of Julie Menin, but this has improved my opinion of her a little.
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Jessy Edwards @jessyedwards.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Menin asks the AI execs to "raise your hand if your company has insurance for catastrophic risks." No one does. "Okay, I'm going to take that as a no... So then the public, I assume, will be asked to absorb the costs." Each of the execs then scramble to clarify that they actually don't know.
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
Center for Climate Integrity @climateintegrity.org · 05/10/2026
CCI Legal Director Corey Riday-White's response to today's arguments in Suncor v. Boulder: “Big Oil’s desperation to escape trial for climate deception is still in search of a legal justification."
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Fox News is now killing people, apparently.
thedailybeast.com
Fox News Star Blamed for Producer's Death in Explosive Report
“If you took Benji out of the equation, this never would have happened.”
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
When they go low, we get LOUD. I never thought anyone could improve on Michelle Obama. But there you have it.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I mean, the memes are funny, but has it occurred to anyone that it could just be that Katie Britt is a stupid mouth-breather? Um...Occam's razor, right -- the simplest explanation is usually it?
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The thing I love most about this Sen. Schmitt faceplant, is that he thought he was going to parlay his gotcha moment into being Vance's VP pick and had his people leak that story to a bunch of news outlets who ran with it. Meanwhile, 15 million Americans lost healthcare because of his party.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
In Kennedy's defense, the facial expression is because he has a poopy diaper. He's so MAGA, he's started shitting himself on live TV, to show loyalty to Trump.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If Katie Phang were a man, I would gay marry her.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Oh, man. Natalie printed it out wrong. Now she's going to have to write another one of those weird S&M sub apology grovel letters to her creepy narcoleptic boyfriend, er... uh.... boss.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I guess she was jealous that his fake tits were bigger than her fake tits?
people.com
Kristi Noem Files for Divorce from Husband Bryon Noem After 34 Years of Marriage
Kristi Noem filed for divorce from her husband, Bryon Noem, after 34 years of marriage, according to court records in their home state of South Dakota.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Practical advice I found on the internet. Handy tips and tricks!
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Natalie printed it wrong, and now she’s going to write one of her S&M sub porn apology letters to her fat, sleepy, senile boyfriend, er…boss.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
And you could have a dollar for every trans woman playing sports in the NCAA, and still not be able to afford a gallon of diesel.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Fun fact: there are fewer trans women on laying sports in the NCAA, than there are rapists at Cornell.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Amateur hour?!? How about morally-bankrupt corruption and graft at taxpayer expense? Even with one foot out the door, the GOP tries to mind mine and whitewash the unbelievable corruption surrounding the Trum Crime Family.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Thank you for doing such a great job with these day-to-day issues, •and• for leading with integrity on the big-pictures stuff, as well.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I will say, Bannon looks better these days. Maybe it’s the filler in his face, and by “filler” I mean fat from eating greasy fried food and not dying.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
He’s acting like Mamdani personally issued his arrest warrant. WTF?
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
Arbaz Kakkar5 @arbazkakkar5.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"Peter Thiel: -mentioned in ~3,000 Epstein file documents -exchanged ~2,000 emails with Epstein -swapped strategies with Epstein to avoid the IRS tracking their hidden wealth This is the guy who helped our vice-president in key moments in his career."
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
You’re paying more for everything, because Trump raped a kid and doesn’t want the Epstein files released. Why is that not a campaign ad?
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
M Meerkat @kackbro.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
THIS 👇 HERE.......
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
Jennifer Shin - WTAF @jennifershin.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I think @darrigomelanie.bsky.social said everything that needs to be said.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Who could have predicted that after Jaxon Dart came out as a Trump-loving MAGA Hatetriot that he'd suffer a massive hit from a black player that would force ESPN to go to an emergency commercial break? Only, um, everybody?
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 20/09/2026
Katie Phang on Trump’s latest attack on the press: “He’s not trying to win a legal argument. He’s just trying to make a point, and the point is: ‘I can do this to you, and you can’t stop me fast enough to make it matter.’” More 👇
katiephang.substack.com
Trump’s War on Words
Like a petulant child, Trump pulls the welcome mat from the People’s House
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
They want to control your access to information so that you can’t make informed decisions. They want to tell you what to think. If you’re okay with the government telling you what to think, I’ve got news for you… •YOU• are the communist.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I think you should do it. You’re not throwing money down a rat hole. You’re making an investment, and paying rent to yourself, instead of someone else.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I’m furious. How dare he decide where I’m allowed to get my news, and what opinions I choose to form. You can’t fucking tell me what I’m supposed to think, no matter how rich or powerful you are. I hope you die in prison.
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Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 18/09/2026
Judge Sullivan ordered Todd Blanche to turn over unredacted FBI notes from interviews with a victim who alleged Trump sexually abused her at 13–15. Deadline: Sept. 24 at 11 AM. Blanche could face contempt if he doesn’t comply. Katie Phang reports.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
How do prisoners in SHU get access to social media?
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Natalie doesn’t have much of an attention span, either. Do you think she’s also an adderalladdict?
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I hope he dies in prison.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Where can I invest?
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Okay. Medicare fraud. Put Rick Scott in prison. Problem solved.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I’ve heard that he doesn’t know how to read.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Does this one also rape children? Or is it just the vibe he gives off? I’m just starting to assume that anyone in the Epstein Administration rapes little kids.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I hope he dies in prison.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I hope he dies in prison.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
This is astonishing.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
She now carries two laser printers, prescriptions for adderall, viagra, and generic blood thinner, two changes of her one underwear, breath mints, and a box of size XL Depends.
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
How do we know this? Has Saudi Arabia stopped killing journalists?
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Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Well, they have been setting the table for what the party stands for today. For forty years. Since Reagan. They made this possible. They don’t get a pass.
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