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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social

@timdrakestoaster.bsky.social
18 followers 5 following 18 posts
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
The backward-toothed brother got a hat trick? Here I was having a nice day.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
My Honda Accord is holding me hostage.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I am in a toxic relationship with my car. We are enemies. She betrays me regularly, and I have no choice but to keep coming back because I live in Michigan. I don't want tips about how to care for my car. I hate her, and she hates me.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I have never asked for car advice. Yet, somehow, men keep talking about cars to me. We're doing tequila shots at a bbq, don't talk to me about winter tires. I don't care and never will.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Every time I get a spam text about how I shouldn't vote for Abdul El-Sayed it's always because he supports a policy that 1) he doesn't, and 2) I wish he did and would only make me like him more. Like, no, he doesn't want to defund the police. But I, as a lefty, do and wish he also did.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Abdul's win has given me many days of dopamine. I also got a new kitten the Saturday before, so that might be a part of it...
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Gotta love anxiety. I walked into my friends house to feed her cats while she's out of town and my brain fully expected to be shot with a gun by her Dad. No one is home, but every time I pet/house sit, my brain insists I am, in fact, committing a home invasion.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I WISH it was the bus! That would be amazing, lol. Especially because they seem to happen in tonally darker movies. Transformer-style sex workers would bring some levity.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
If I had a nickel for every movie I've watched this month that included bus handjobs, I'd have two nickels. Which is weird, especially because I've only watched like 4 movies this month...
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
No one brings it up to him. But, he WILL bring it up in only the least appropriate settings to make random old rich people uncomfortable at parties when they offer condolences. "Such a shame what happened to Jack" "Yeah... yanno, Reddit still thinks I did it." "Oh... who's Red It?"
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
The economy is so fucked my local Papa Johns takes EBT now.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
You can if the intended vibe is Bad
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
#supergirl was great. Loved it, go see it. That being said... Can someone make that man in his literal 30's use some of the money from his full-time job to buy a damn couch? One armchair is unacceptable at his big age.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Considering another 160mg of caffeine. I think that would fix this. Nothing is wrong. I just feel that sitting on my couch on my day off is somehow wasteful because I am an ✨️American✨️
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
My unhinged (and probably stupidest) #timdrake headcanon is that there is a conspiracy online that he is the one who hired Captain Boomerang to kill Jack. The reasoning being that Tim wanted his inheritance faster and didn't want Jack to have a chance to change his will to include Tim's stepmom.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
"Girl, they're just not into you" is often excellent advice, in both platonic and romantic relationships. Directed to any gender. I, however, am insane. So I must let this destroy me. You should pursue mutual relationships, though. You deserve happiness and respect!
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
I will never not get mad about the #timkon shippers who do nothing but shit on #timbern for reasons that are hard to read as anything besides insidious homophobia.
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timdrakestoaster.bsky.social @timdrakestoaster.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
HOW DARE YOU REJECT THE LUSCIOUS WATERS OF HAPPINESS SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY COME FROM A FRESH WELL OF MARBLE INSTEAD OF THE HEAP OF OLD STONES YOU'VE PICTURED IN YOUR MIND?
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