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Tim Byrnes

@timbyrneses.bsky.social
580 followers 632 following 3.3K posts

Everyone’s favourite rascal linktr.ee/timbyrneses

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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 20h
Spent another night in emergency because son’s fever spiked. I think that was the fourth time this month? Too tired to remember
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If anyone has any contacts at the NRL, I am available for the grand final and have learnt Smoke On The Water on my ukulele
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Made art. Give me money.
Black and white picture of building with clouds at bottom of frame. I was going for disorientating
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I am not doing well
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“Just keep your head above water.” I’m trying, but the water is up to my eyeballs
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Eurgh, being around in-laws is proving to be hard work. They seem confused that their grandson doesn’t recognise them. If only they stuck around instead of taking multiple holidays during this time
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Reposted by Tim Byrnes
𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐠 @ruleo.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Saw Resident Evil and now I’m sick. Coincidence, right?
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I like how the new Resident Evil showed how a bumbling idiot like me would do during a zombie apocalypse
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Should I see tomorrow: A) It Ends B) The Rivals Of Amziah King?
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I didn’t need to bring a kite to the kite festival; I spent the whole time in fight or flight
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Had to be around the ‘big dog’ at work. Managed to avoid them, but still don’t know if they smell like olive oil
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Since there’s an Ed Sheeran support slot available, I’m gonna join Sheppard and take it. Geronimo.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Ed Sheeran is now rewatching Yesterday, developing ideas
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
“I’m being taken out of context… again.” - Pauline Hanson when confronted with her racist comments… again.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Have accidentally started figuring Iron Maiden’s Number Of The Beast on my ukulele. Kids are gonna dig this.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I feel like every evening I scroll through the apps to decide on something to watch, then it’s 930, I’m still undecided, so I go to bed not watching anything
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My baby is nearly a year old and I still haven’t figured out how to tell him about both Charlie Kirk or 9/11 😢
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
[legitimate workplace concern] “Um, that’s union generated information” 🫠
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Now seeing my job become a political football and legitimate concerns being dismissed. What even is the fucking point anymore?
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
This Father’s Day, I’d love not doing a third ambulance ride
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Paul Schrader will be the first filmmaker to have an AI Actor call HR on them
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I thought it’d be couple of years before my son had to ride in an ambulance. He’s now having his second ride in a week. Weee 🫠
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I think my capacity for handling things has definitely lowered to a millimetre off the the bloody floor
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
I must be doing something wrong if people don’t particularly want me around. Or there’s something wrong with me.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I reckon Christopher Nolan should’ve let audiences know that The Odyssey was set in Ancient Greece by having Odysseus opening his flip phone
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I figured out how to play I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow on my ukulele. I’ve got that going for me
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Photo. Give me money.
Too close to a dandelion
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
It’s exhausting having an hours long feedback loop in your brain that tells you you’re unlikable
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I am going to throw myself through a glass door if they don’t change Bluey back to 2D. I’M AN ADULT WHO IS AFRAID OF CHANGE!
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
So which cut of Donnie Darko should I be forcing my partner and our baby to watch?
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Turns out that when your work is short-staffed, illness makes it shorter, and makes my jaw muscles tighter.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
“As a trans ally, I’m going to star in Harry Potter and fundraise for a billionaire bigot. Please stop yelling at me.” - every Harry Potter series actor
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Weird thing in psych appointment today. I mentioned the scene in this where Billy asks Kris about who she is and Kris responds about work and how I related to it. Led to a very productive session. Maybe the best.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I loved you in Camp Miasma
Ceiling air vent
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
If my workplace gets to a point where I can make videos for them again, I’m gonna put in so many split diopter shots
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Thank you Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma for reminding me about Quibi, the streamer where you can enjoy ‘quick bites’ of content
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
I think The Addiction was about how annoying junkies are
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Maybe Abel Ferrara will help me lighten up
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
It took me over 90 minutes to drive home. I really don’t know how I can keep doing this.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Australia needs a book about where you can’t put a stick. You can’t put a stick in Gina Rinehart’s bum.
Cover of picture book called What To Do With A Stick
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
The ABC has ruled that you can’t put a stick in Gina Rinehart’s bum
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I can tell you where I won’t be on census night: Putting a stick up Gina Rinehart’s bum. You’re not allowed to do that.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I didn’t make this on the toilet. Give me money.
Pink flowers blooming from tree against blue sky
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Pausing self-pity for a powerful message
Sign: “You wouldn’t put a stick up Gina Rinehart’s bum”
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Trying to get my family to want to hang out with my son feels like I have to do inception to plant the idea in their head. I just want them to want a relationship with him
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I have one, I guess ‘friend’. He’s the only person I talk to from high school. I thought he was my best friend, but over the last two years I’ve realised it probably wasn’t mutual.
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
You can’t put a stick up Gina Rinehart’s bum
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I’ll always remember a customer returning Sharri Markson’s book and commenting “she doesn’t say what happened”
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Tim Byrnes @timbyrneses.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Just remembered a photo I took that I liked. Took it while on the toilet.
Sunlight shining through distorted glass
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