Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 4h18yo and I were at a comedy show at the Palladium last night. It was good minus a couple of coked up wankers, performatively laughing in an over-the-top way. The comedian just posted a photo of the audience. Made me laugh that you can actually make out our blurry little faces glaring at them. 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Just had to Google "prophylactic antibiotic" because my only understanding of the word meant I was envisaging a patient rolling on a condom infused with penicillin. 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I absolutely love this. Disappointed that the English dance wasn't him learning the intricacies of the Doncaster pub routine. 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 04/10/2026If Xi did say this (which he didn't), pretty sure he meant "have you just shit your pants?" 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Whenever you have imposter syndrome, it's worth remembering that Lenny Kravitz went multi-platinum with 'Fly Away' despite lyrics that would barely scrape a prize in an infant school poetry competition. 120
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Brilliant, cos' that's what the world needs....more arseholes with nuclear weapons. Seriously, just wake me up when we're living in a matriarchy. I'm so done. 001
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Is it a neurodivergent thing or just anxiety to constantly feel like you're in trouble? I get an email notification- my stomach lurches cos' I must be in trouble. I get a text - I feel a bit sick because I'm probably in trouble. A letter pops through the door - oh God, I must have done s/thing wrong 110
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 23/09/2026The shame of deleting a post because you hadn't caught up on your timeline enough to see someone else had done it 3hrs ago. 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Had a conversation with my eldest this afternoon that unexpectedly involved the phrase "concentric circles of shart". 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I thought peri-menopause wasn't having too much of an effect on me brain fog-wise, but I tried to say 'Silence of the Lambs' a few days ago and all my brain would give me was 'Vision of the Swans'. 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 11/09/2026My 9/11/01 - I was messing around in a chat-room at work rather than actually working. A NYorker in the chat saw the 1st plane hit out of her office window. I blurted it out to everyone+they asked how I knew - what news was it on? Erm...I forget, definitely not a chat-room though *cough cough* 001
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 06/09/2026This would be so exciting. And, what a lovely, kind face the lead ecologist has. 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 05/09/2026This morning, I needed to look up the relative size of a giant river otter with a human (don't ask). Strongly suspect a man made this diagram. 120
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 01/09/2026I'm not sure I like it when my Duolingo widget gives the general vibe of Commandant Lassard being sucked off at the lectern. I'll get to my Norwegian lesson when I have time and an owl's cum face won't make me do it any sooner. 051
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 31/08/2026I discovered Di had died in a Pompeian bar. The owner came up to us+started doing charades peppered with basic Italian words. I get very excited at quizzes+probably should have processed the info better before I triumphantly shouted "Princess Diana is dead!!" like I'd just won 'Give Us a Clue'. 160
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 26/08/2026For my 18yr old's birthday cake I got the cover art from their favourite album printed on it. After a few slices, we've inadvertently produced an equine Jimothy. #jimothy 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Was up very late last night decorating the front room for my 18yr old coming downstairs this morning for their birthday and was so pleased with myself. In the cold light of day, we both agree that my colour scheme choice is giving less "birthday" and much more....."wake". 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Next time, I might double check my weird neighbour *isn't* in his garden before I start un-pegging my knickers from the line so they fall directly into the basket while singing 🎶"It's raining pants, Hallelujah!!"🎶 in an overblown Texan accent.....to my cat. Cat, not impressed either FWIW. 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I'm trying to write my child's 18th birthday card and can't stop crying. Keep having to stop and just crumble for a minute. 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 22/08/2026I'm ever so slightly in love with pandas but the problem is that they're so weird and adorable (and act like children in bear costumes) that it's impossible to tell what's AI and what's real now. #AIsucksassstatic.klipy.comMonday Office Panda PrankALT: Monday Office Panda Prank 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Post a picture that should be an album cover 182
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Just doing some family tree on Ancestry and just hit a classic case of "tell me you're American without telling me you're American" 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Just woke up from a scary dream about losing my kids in a weird, expansive soft play facility. There was a man shouting the names of his kids...their names were 'Souness' and 'Graeme'. 030
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Very disappointed this scene wasn't in it. 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Just daydreaming about a lovely downpour and I really do think that petrichor could have been the name of the fourth Wise Man who just didn't make the cut.... ....or maybe he just slept through his alarm....or maybe I'm too hot and it's too early to be enjoying a beer. 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Why did this immediately make me think of that possum who broke into a bakery and ate so much that when the doors were opened in the morning, he was too engorged to move? 120
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Postman has just delivered a load of junk mail. Might order a cock and balls pizza for dinner tonight. 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Impossible not to imagine the expression of the person who set yesterday's Keywords puzzle. 010
Reposted by Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱Brian Groom @groomb.bsky.social · 10/08/2026New discovery near Stonehenge puts 'women at the centre of early Bronze Age society'. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukNew discovery puts 'women at the centre of early Bronze Age society'The 4,000-year-old skeleton of a metalworker was first found in 1803. 13812
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 10/08/2026At 16, I bunked off school. When I got home, I was horrified to see my Dad. He wasn't really meant to be at home either. I waited for a bollocking, but he just said "Fancy a sausage sandwich?". We then watched an old war film together tucking into our glorious sarnies. I think about that a lot. 1434
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 08/08/2026What Count Dracula says when his servants aren't pulling their weight. 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Yesterday on the motorway, I had only just finished telling my son about my irrational+highly unfair sense that people with bikes on the back of their cars are middle class wankers, when I saw this..... 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Your Temu parcel has left Yangzhou and is en route via Space X.static.klipy.comOperation Teapot NukeALT: Operation Teapot Nuke 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 07/08/2026No, YOU just walked through the whole of Tibshelf Services with the buttons on your top open and your bra on show to everyone. 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 04/08/2026During a walk yesterday, we passed multiple benches with dedication plaques. My 15yo casually mused, "can you imagine if every time you sat on one of those benches, you get temporarily possessed by the spirit of the person on the plaque?" I can tell you now, I've thought about nothing else since. 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Love that this photo looks like he's staring up at the pearly gates while St Peter tells him to fuck right off. 021
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 31/07/2026Perception of time is a funny thing. The photo in the post below of the Coronation Street set in 1990 looks so dated+old fashioned. And yet, I visited the set that very same year and it feels like a very modern day yesterday. 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 30/07/2026It rained! It actually rained (lightly)... 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Looking up famous birthdays for tonight's pub quiz..... 🎶One of these things is not like the other🎶 010
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 27/07/2026No, no... it's fine Grim Reaper, it's fine....you just keep on taking the Sam Neills, the Jane Goodalls and now the puppeteer for Zippy. You carry on leaving us with the most evil, sentient sacks of rancid fucking custard intent on destroying the entire planet. You do you....ya cunt. 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Did a speed awareness course this wk. Being a square who takes instructions very literally, I watched the guidance video, read the rules etc. I practised my video set-up. Clear view, no blurred b/grounds, everything in shot And yet there was one woman who attended the entire course like this ⬇️ 020
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I just put my name into Google's AI Mode search to see if it would come up with anything+it actually made me sound like I'd done something with my life! I hate AI but this gave me a sweet little boost. Right, back to hating AI now. Normal service has been resumed. Down with Data Centres+AI slop. 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 25/07/2026Catching up with the Proms this morning. Trying desperately hard not to have a massive crush on Yunchan Lim given I'm old enough to be his Mum but bloody hell, what an incredible musician, what talent, what passion and what a sweet and gentle artistic soul. ....and the floppy hair...argh, stop! 000
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱 @tilskatoff.bsky.social · 24/07/2026I'm always asking my teenage kids when we can take the rusty old trampoline to the tip, but on beautiful evenings like this with a bit of introspective melancholy, it's the perfect place to lie and find smiley faces in the clouds. (I'll pretend I can't hear the constant roar of the M4) 000
Reposted by Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱Shar A @sharal.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Ruin a book by adding a word Moby Dick Head 2222