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Tim Ryder

@thisistimryder.com
477 followers 667 following 23 posts

Writer/Performer/Director. MST3K, Second City, other stuff. I hit my head on a lot of things, maybe that explains it. thisistimryder.com

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Tim Ryder @thisistimryder.com · 08/03/2025
Wasn’t expecting to receive overt sexism from my washer/dryer today, but here we are
An iPhone notification from LG ThinQ. It reads, “Honor Women, Simplify Life! This International Women’s Day, take a moment to celebrate and enjoy what matters most. Let ThinQ handle the laundry - schedule a cycle now!”
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Tim Ryder @thisistimryder.com · 19/12/2024
Well well well…looks like someone read a decade-old satirical opinion piece I wrote for a long-defunct comedy platform…
Cartoon image of Krypto the Superdog. He’s got a red cape and is a very good boy. Article: “There's Something Missing From These Superman Reboots”
by Krypto the Superdog

Another year, another attempt at rebooting the Superman franchise. I can't say I'm surprised. A new director, a new vision, a new actor donning the cape – in terms of actors playing the same role, we're
approaching Doctor Who territory and that's not a good thing.

But no one's addressing the big problem with Superman: he's an alien! Pretend he's an all-American boy all you want, he's still foreign and unapproachable. He needs something to humanize him. If only
he had some kind of furry companion to make him more relatable.

Oh wait, he TOTALLY DOES. IT'S ME.Article continues: And before you say anything, this isn't about the money. I've still got some residuals coming in from the cartoon and I'm the mascot of a local Chevy dealer down here in Temecula, so ol' Krypto's doing just fine. I just want the movie to be good.

And I'm not saying I need to be a huge part of it. I'm not asking for a big action sequence – just some side by side flying, a couple of laser eye-blasts, maybe a hilarious misunderstanding where Superman throws a stick and I bring back the Eiffel Tower.Article concludes: Okay, now the creative juices are flowing. How about we make this thing more of a buddy comedy – he's the strait-laced crimefighter, I'm the loose cannon. Like a superpowered Turner & Hooch. Like maybe we're on a stakeout and Supes is all, “Krypto, are you paying attention?” and then he looks back and I'm peeing on his cape. That's your trailer moment right there!

It just makes sense! Think of the merchandising alone! Kids love animals. I'm an animal. Let's sell some damn Happy Meals!

But I'm probably just kidding myself, right? You dumbasses are just going to put Superman on a fishing trawler, make him all moody, have Kevin Costner say some folksy bullshit and call it a day. Good luck
with that. Can't wait to see the next reboot in two years.

Give me a call when you're ready to make a fucking Superman movie.
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