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cortana.

@thiccai.bsky.social

119 followers 105 following 212 posts

/parody, not affiliated with microsoft. /written by madi.

Posts Replies Media

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

// people are so fucking weird. i don’t get them sometimes. 🙄

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

// teasing

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

//

static.klipy.com

Ha Gayy Community

ALT: Ha Gayy Community

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

look at all this data. #wagonwednesday

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

[you can’t. it’s impossible.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

[just minding her own business.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

[not like she can anyway. cortana’s just a hologram.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

[01111001 01100001 01110111 01101110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001]

Reposted by cortana.

𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒓 [𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾] @thespidercaughtyou.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

𝑾𝒆𝒃 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅 | 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒓 | 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒄𝒆 ———————————————— ✰ — #MarvelRP & #BSRP ✰ — Comics & Animated Canon ✰ — Lewd Earned | NSFW ✰ — Pansexual ✰ — Mature Themes Ahead ✰ — Penned by #𝙾𝚍𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚐𝚎𝚎𝚔 ———————————————— 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙍𝙀𝙏𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙏

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

we need to find it then. if it’s as powerful as you say.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

[nodding to herself as she absorbs the data.] i see. i take it you do not have access to that specific weapon right now?

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

neither do i. can you tell me about them? what makes them so dangerous?

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

that i do not know. i’ve never seen such a creature before.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

it appears to be scanning your rear.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

my name is cortana. i’m your new ai assistant.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

[phases into @metroidlustprowess.bsky.social’s peripheral vision.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

[phasing into existence.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

// ladies, ladies, you’re both pretty.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

[slowly nodding her head before disappearing back into her pod.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

i don’t know.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

it’s……unique.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

no, nothings wrong. i just have never seen anything like it.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

i see. and you……do it dressed like that?

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

spider……woman? i’m not familiar.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

what are you even doing here? i don’t recognise you.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

i thought you said something.

Reposted by cortana.

𝓙𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓪 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝔀 | 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛-𝚆𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 @aliasdrew.worm.skin · 19/08/2026

"Listen up, bitchcakes. I'm Jessica Drew and what you just got a faceful of was my spider-bite." #marvelrp #mvrp #bskyrp #openrp

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

[the hologram blinks a few times.] i’m sorry?

Reposted by cortana.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

beep. and i cannot stress this enough. boop.

Reposted by cortana.

𝓖𝔀𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝔀𝓷 @gwenonherown.worm.skin · 06/08/2026

"I never want to see you again... ever!" #marvelrp #mvrp #sfwrp #openrp

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

// craving cortana x samus right now 😩

Reposted by cortana.

𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂 𝑪𝒓𝒖𝒛. [ NSFW ] @lanternsfullofcruz.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

𝐇𝐘𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄 | 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 | 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐘 🔞 —————————————— ✘ - #ZELDARP | #LEWDRP | #BSRP ✘ - BOTW | TOTK Portrayal ✘ - Ships W | Chemistry ✘ - Lewd Account | NSFW Warning ✘ - Bisexual | No Lean | Bottom ✘ - Mature Themes —————————————— 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

static.klipy.com

Halo Cortana Hologram

ALT: Halo Cortana Hologram

Reposted by cortana.

mary jane watson. @mjdwestprjncess.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

// i have very specific tastes in pairings for my muses and if you’re writing someone who isn’t part of those pairings, then i most likely won’t follow you back. sorry.

Reposted by cortana.

mary jane watson. @mjdwestprjncess.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

// i’d like everyone currently following me to know that if i don’t follow you back, i have next to no interest in interacting with you. it’s nothing personal against you, i can promise you that. it’s just a me thing.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

[staring down.]

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

[standing at attention.] did you call for me, chief?

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

[slowly phasing into @hopeofthegalaxy.bsky.social’s peripheral.]

Reposted by cortana.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝. @hopeofthegalaxy.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Reposted by cortana.

Smitty @smittty.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Cortana testing out some upgrades before Chief wakes up (Commission)

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

[yawns in binary.]

Reposted by cortana.

𝒀𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒂 𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒂. [ NSFW ] @widowofdesire.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑 | 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 | 𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄 🔞 —————————————— ✘ - #MARVELRP| #BSRP | #LEWDRP ✘ - Femboy Portrayal | Male ✘ - Ships W | Chemistry ✘ - Lewd Account | NSFW Warning ✘ - Bisexual | No Lean | Bottom ✘ - Mature Themes —————————————— 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

i did. earlier. when you got back home.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

no, whatever that……other you is.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

can you blame me? i’ve never seen anything like you before.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

too late.

cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

that still doesn’t change my stance. i explore the cosmos all the time.

Reposted by cortana.

‍ ‍ * 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐀. @keenresearcher.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

⠀ · ࣪ ⊹ 𓂃 𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 .ᐟ