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cortana.

@thiccai.bsky.social
120 followers 105 following 211 posts

/parody, not affiliated with microsoft. /written by madi.

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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
look at all this data. #wagonwednesday
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
[01111001 01100001 01110111 01101110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001]
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𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒓 [𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾] @thespidercaughtyou.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
𝑾𝒆𝒃 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅 | 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒓 | 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒄𝒆 ———————————————— ✰ — #MarvelRP & #BSRP ✰ — Comics & Animated Canon ✰ — Lewd Earned | NSFW ✰ — Pansexual ✰ — Mature Themes Ahead ✰ — Penned by #𝙾𝚍𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚐𝚎𝚎𝚔 ———————————————— 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙍𝙀𝙏𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙏
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
my name is cortana. i’m your new ai assistant.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
[phases into @metroidlustprowess.bsky.social’s peripheral vision.]
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𝑺𝒂𝒎𝒖𝒔 𝑨𝒓𝒂𝒏. [ NSFW ] @metroidlustprowess.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐈𝐃 | 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 🔞 —————————————— ✘ - #METROIDRP | #BSRP | #LEWDRP ✘ - Canon | AU Elements ✘ - Ships W | Chemistry ✘ - Bisexual | No Lean ✘ - NSFW Themes Warning ✘ - Mature Themes —————————————— 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
[phasing into existence.]
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𝓙𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓪 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝔀 | 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛-𝚆𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 @aliasdrew.worm.skin · 19/08/2026
"Listen up, bitchcakes. I'm Jessica Drew and what you just got a faceful of was my spider-bite." #marvelrp #mvrp #bskyrp #openrp
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
beep. and i cannot stress this enough. boop.
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𝓖𝔀𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝔀𝓷 @gwenonherown.worm.skin · 06/08/2026
"I never want to see you again... ever!" #marvelrp #mvrp #sfwrp #openrp
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
// craving cortana x samus right now 😩
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𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒌. [ NSFW ] @hyruleknightlink.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
𝐇𝐘𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄 | 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 | 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐘 🔞 —————————————— ✘ - #ZELDARP | #LEWDRP | #BSRP ✘ - BOTW | TOTK Portrayal ✘ - Ships W | Chemistry ✘ - Lewd Account | NSFW Warning ✘ - Bisexual | No Lean | Bottom ✘ - Mature Themes —————————————— 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Halo Cortana Hologram
ALT: Halo Cortana Hologram
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mary jane watson. @mjdwestprjncess.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
// i have very specific tastes in pairings for my muses and if you’re writing someone who isn’t part of those pairings, then i most likely won’t follow you back. sorry.
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mary jane watson. @mjdwestprjncess.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
// i’d like everyone currently following me to know that if i don’t follow you back, i have next to no interest in interacting with you. it’s nothing personal against you, i can promise you that. it’s just a me thing.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
[standing at attention.] did you call for me, chief?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
[slowly phasing into @hopeofthegalaxy.bsky.social’s peripheral.]
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝. @hopeofthegalaxy.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
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Smitty @smittty.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
Cortana testing out some upgrades before Chief wakes up (Commission)
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
[yawns in binary.]
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𝒀𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒂 𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒂. [ NSFW ] @widowofdesire.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑 | 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 | 𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄 🔞 —————————————— ✘ - #MARVELRP| #BSRP | #LEWDRP ✘ - Femboy Portrayal | Male ✘ - Ships W | Chemistry ✘ - Lewd Account | NSFW Warning ✘ - Bisexual | No Lean | Bottom ✘ - Mature Themes —————————————— 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄
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𝖬𝖨𝖲𝖲 𝖨𝖭𝖥𝖮𝖱𝖬𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭 ⚠︎ @informativeblonde.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
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‍ ‍ * 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐀. @keenresearcher.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
⠀ · ࣪ ⊹ 𓂃 𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 .ᐟ
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― 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐗𝐄 @deathoncall.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ ❛ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚. ❜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ + ↻
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
// is that hyp?!
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
[cortana.exe has rebooted.]
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mary jane watson. @mjdwestprjncess.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
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𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝑴𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒅𝒚 @echoofinfinity.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
*every* detail? [raised eyebrow again.]
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[well, it’s all metal to her. spinning around to show off her new body to the other woman.] how do i look?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[looking back over to see the raised hand, lifting her own metal hand to give the human what she wanted.]
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[she shrugs her shoulders a third time.] it’s going to take some time to get used to, i know that much.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
that’s okay. i can take care of that myself.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[looking down, watching herself lift up her arms and kick back her legs.]
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[the hologram disappears when the card is pulled out, then in a matter of minutes after being inserted into the body, cortana’s info is downloaded into the memory. it’s not long until the closed eyes on the front of the head open up.] did……did it work?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[a simple nod.] check the back of your pc tower. something blue like me.
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‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍𝖆𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖊. @aureliterph.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
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‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ * 𝑷𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪. @psioniics.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ * 𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
do you know how to upload me into this body?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[blinking. a lot.] how did you get it made that quickly?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[raising an eyebrow at this but doesn’t question it.]
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
i suppose it’s possible. have one modeled after how my holographic form looks.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
maybe if they had made me as an android instead.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[another shoulder shrug.] i suppose i never questioned it before.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
what would be the point of a hologram being able to touch stuff?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
[a simple shrug of her shoulders.] i do not have an answer for that.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
i was programmed, if that’s what you mean.
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
i’m a hologram, remember?
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cortana. @thiccai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
i’m fine, yes. i just do this from time to time.
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