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Jordan Luca

@thejordanluca.bsky.social
769 followers 972 following 448 posts

Walking disaster, hopeless romantic, always have cake on me 🍰 18+ Open to collabs, bookings: thejordanluca@gmail.com 📍Seattle 👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽 Happily taken ♎️♌️♒️ Cash.app/$jluca1

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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The fatter the ass the closer to god
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
New Carly, Miley, AND Orville today? And I have an 8-hour road trip ahead of me? My bussy QUIVERS
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Folsom Europe, my dick is tired 😵‍💫
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Glasses on. Hat turned backwards. La Croix popped. Lofi playlist playing through noise-cancelling earbuds. Ready to lock tf IN with work.
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Someone in front of me at the movies is eating chinese food? JAIL.
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
The way I wretched when I realized I was listening to the censored version of vampire 🤮
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Gonna live like Dolly every day. Dress like a whore, sing songs, read, give all my money away, not take myself seriously, and be a cheeky lil c*nt 💖
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Has anyone checked on Miley 🥺
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Heart, meet dagger. Dagger, meet heart.
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
I love flirting with boys
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
I’ve been having tummy troubles the past few days, so going to taco tuesday tonight is naturally the best choice for me rn
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Senator Sheldon Whitehouse @whitehouse.senate.gov · 11/08/2026
Lake Mead lowest ever. Siberia hits 90. Vienna 105. Northwest on fire. Ocean heat record. Nothing to see here folks.
washingtonpost.com
Lake Mead, the nation’s biggest reservoir, hits lowest level on record
The milestone is yet another sign of the escalating water crisis on the Colorado River, which scientists say is worsened by climate change.
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Real hot girls and baddies will NOT be watching the Harry Potter remake
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Not the Bore Worms @nottheboreworms.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Ok. Look. I don’t wanna start beef with the Welsh. But all I’m sayin is that Catherine Zeta Jones is a Latina and you can’t convince me otherwise
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Y’all ever sit down to jerk it, realize you’re not feeling it, get up to (insert task here), and then get hard while you’re doing the task? 🍆😅
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Not the Bore Worms @nottheboreworms.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
EL-SAYED WON! EVERYONE GET YALLS DICKS AND TIDDIES OUT!
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
I don’t think I’ll ever embrace the term ‘lavender husband’
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dylan @pinkponysub.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
good morning
Anne Hathaway as Penelope as the Anne Hathaway RuPaul drag mess video message
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dylan @pinkponysub.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
sunblock should be free and a human right to access. like wym boomers fucked up the ozone and now *I* have to pay for my own skin protection??
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
New Avatar series beginning of October happy birthday to meeeeeee
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Ice cream for breakfast because first day of vacation! 🍦 ☀️
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
A daddy on my team just said the word “curvature” in our meeting and now I’m flummoxed 🥵
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
“How can you boo Haaland? He’s America’s sweetheart!” 🇳🇴
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I think Michael Johnston has one of the funniest personal life entries on all of wiki
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Somehow managed to score some dick last night at the straightest bar we go to??? Proud of myself
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Blue Heron Farm @blueheronfarm.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Trans beloveds, take some time off the internet if you need to. Clarence Thomas is a piece of shit sexual harasser with literally no good opinions. You are better than him in every way that counts.
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Anyone know what size shoe Mamdani wears? 👀🦶
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Not #humpday but it’s #monochromemonday and cakes are for every day I say 🍰 #mcm #cakes #cheeks #jockstrap #mirrorselfie #blackandwhite #monochrome
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jen ramos-eisen @jenramose.online · 22/06/2026
NEW CARLY RAE JEPSEN ANNOUNCED HAPPY PRIDE DWEEBS
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Loved it so much I put a ring on it #husbandcock 💍😍
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Mexico vs Korea World Cup match, aka which team do I want to run a train on me more 🤔
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Uh oh. I’m about to go into a work meeting where I’m supposed to have Opinions on Things and expected to say real human words. Pray for me.
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
It’s 5:30, sunny, my cats wanna hang on our patio but I’m stuck working for another hour, I cry HOMOPHOBIA in the workplace
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Straight suburban friends asking husband and I to wake up before 9am for brunch during pride month is a hate crime
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The Original Jonitron 18+XXX @tjonitron.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
A little bit of Pride. With @thejordanluca.bsky.social #tbt #malenud
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
#thickthursday with a side of feet? 😈🍑🦶🏼 So excited to get to shoot again with @tjonitron.bsky.social next week! 📸
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
The way Kareem Rahma could GET it
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
The ‘bation station just leveled tf up
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Our maintenance guy is so hot, he’s here to clean our drains but there’s only one hole I’d like him to focus on
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
I wonder how many times I’ve died in fuck, marry, kill
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
I mean I think Nikki should kiss Riri regardless of her and A$AP swapping for a day 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Gonna take my little walk and smoke my little jo*nt and get my little ramen and enjoy my little SF sun after a rainy weekend and I’m so excited!!!
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
Getting ready for a night in the Castro 💓
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
SF I’m inside of you 😌 🌁
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
I wonder how this diva is doing
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
How rude of my co-worker to ask to meet during the half hour I wanted to play with my butt plugs in the shower
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Quote with one of your best ass shots 🍑
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Bussy rumbling every time hubby chimes in during his work meetings because we got up earlier than usual so his voice is sitting even deeper this morning 😮‍💨 🥵 🫨
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Jordan Luca @thejordanluca.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
media.tenor.com
a girl with purple hair is wearing a white dress and a black coat
ALT: a girl with purple hair is wearing a white dress and a black coat
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