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Justin Myers

@theguyliner.bsky.social
7.4K followers 562 following 2.6K posts

Author, journalist, and Guardian Blind Date superfan. A body like Arnold with a Denzel face. (he/him) theguyliner.com theguyliner.substack.com

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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 3h
24 years ago today I arrived in London, optimistic but terrified. What would I do? Where would I end up? The answer, it turned out, is on a train back from central listening to two of the planet’s all-time bores across the aisle drone on about a funeral that happened in the early 90s
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Strictly feels so tired, like the fourth week of the Next sale when it’s all 42-inch waist jumbo cords and bedside lamps shaped like trouts
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
You should never date a man who has queued to get into Dishoom
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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 27/09/2026
This week in BORING OLD GAY, I’m agog at seeing Dallas in glorious HD, celebrating one of Scotland’s greatest sitcoms and shamelessly showing off two books with my name on them… boringoldgay.substack.com/p/dallas-doc...
Image of Sue Ellen Ewing in HD. HEadline: Dallas, Doctor Who and Double Sausage Suppers. Boring Old Gay #13 - Happy Returns…
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M a r c u s 🏳️‍🌈🇧🇧 @marcusjdl.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I hope this queen is having a great day!!!
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
In primary school, we used to take our seats to an orchestral – but still very disco – version of the Dallas theme tune
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Don't think I've seen any wasps this year – have they finally got the hint and fucked off?
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
In the Guardian Blind Date this week: 'I said I don't like Clapham Gays… guess where he lives?' My review:
theguyliner.com
Dec and David
Linda Evangelista wouldn’t get out of bed for less than £10,000 and I won’t fire up my ailing MacBook on a Saturday for two town mice saying ‘no, you, please, I want you to have i…
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Oof this second series of #SNLUK is off to a bumpy start.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
A while back I wrote about Karen Hauer being the heart of Strictly Come Dancing.
theguyliner.substack.com
The truth about Karen Hauer
'Strictly' is dead to me.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
In the Guardian Blind Date this week: 'I said I don't like Clapham Gays… guess where he lives?' My review:
theguyliner.com
Dec and David
Linda Evangelista wouldn’t get out of bed for less than £10,000 and I won’t fire up my ailing MacBook on a Saturday for two town mice saying ‘no, you, please, I want you to have i…
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
There will be a Guardian Blind Date review today. impeccable.theguyliner.com
Kathy Beale in EastEnders pulling a disgusted face.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Can’t wait for him to get a tattoo
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I don’t give a shit what that closet-case thinks of me – he should be in the library studying
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M a r c u s 🏳️‍🌈🇧🇧 @marcusjdl.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
It’s time to retire “rich boomers” discourse and have a more nuanced conversation when Age UK research shows 2 million pensioners live in poverty, and once that triple lock is gone it won’t be coming back for future generations (older Gen X will be state pension age in about 7 years)
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
It’s the anniversary of that post on Popbitch.
Victoria Beckham in unforgivable hair extensions under a bandana performing her debut solo single Not Such an Innocent Girl with two similarly attired dancers.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Bookmarks, 'watch later', favourites, open tabs – we're only loading extra work onto a future self who won't thank us for it.
theguyliner.substack.com
The truth about ‘save for later’
To all the tabs I’ve closed before.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
A much-deserved evisceration of my most-hated retail experience aside from using a touchscreen to order fast food.
theguyliner.substack.com
The truth about B&Q
DIY tho?
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Justin Lewis @whenisbirths.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
We tried our very best with this in terms of marketing but (so far) we still struggled relatively to get it into shops. Do investigate if you haven’t and you’d like to, there is no other music history book quite like this one. #IntoTheGroove
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
This week has very 2016 energy.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Me crossing boundaries too early within the first five minutes of meeting someone new
A screenshot from Arrested Development, where Lucille Bluth says to Lucille Austero – ‘At least he’s in prison, not an urn’
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chiller @chiller.eurosky.social · 21/08/2026
You can also just wear a suit to pick up the kids from school, stroll in the park, shop in the supermarket. It's called personal style, chaps! We're not here long. Wear what YOU LOVE, not camouflage. x
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Marie Le Conte @youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com · 19/08/2026
wrote about that ADHD documentary, my own life as someone apparently living the perfect life of the unmedicated ADHD poster child, and why no amount of "oh but the system should change, not the people" doesn't work: www.thenewworld.co.uk/marie-le-con...
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
THE HOURS. When Nicole Kidman wails “In Richmond I will die, Leonard” I wanted to shout “Will that be soon?!”
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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 16/08/2026
This week in Boring Old Gay, I'm raging at my temporary commute, getting a man in to sort out my pole and wincing at some extreme 90s boy band falsetto… boringoldgay.substack.com/p/cannon-str...
boringoldgay.substack.com
Cannon Street, Curtain Poles and Crushed Dreams
Boring Old Gay #11 – Hanging by a Thread
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Lucy Prebble @lucyprebblish.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
One of the sad things about the death of writing is that we are going to be taking life advice primarily from visually attractive people now who don’t know shit. ideally you want the world filtered through awkward homunculi filled with rage who know the plural of homunculus
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Media learning absolutely zero lessons as per fucking usual. A future stolen from an entire family.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Always always always loathed the Atheist Comedian and have never seen more than two minutes of that workplace comedy he’s so famous for and turned over when his mug turned up on The 11 O’Clock Show (RIP)
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
If the person you’re dating got decent enough A-level results today to go off to university, enjoy the rest of your summer together – you’ll be dumped by Christmas. x
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I saw that major eclipse in 1999 and honestly it was such a subpar experience that I’ve struggled to give a twopenny fuck about eclipses ever since.
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Cara Ellison @caraellison.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Ppl often ask what ‘British food’ is and I would say think about the best Thanksgiving meal you’ve ever had and imagine you have it every Sunday and that’s what it is. It isn’t ‘beans’ or whatever. The mums have been studying how to get their kids home from uni every week w/ potatoes fried in drugs
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
The Glorious Dead is out now in paperback and this is one of my favourite lines from it.
Dialogue between two characters in The Glorious Dead. Ned ends his long screed with ‘I will die on that hill.’
Laurie replies: ‘Weird hill for you to die on, of all people, but, hey, at least you're dead’
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
He was very well-behaved and made friends with several dogs, so it shows what I know.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
We are going to a local dog-owners meet up in the area we’ve just moved to and I’m sure my dog who was up barking hysterically at shadows at 03:45 this morning is going to do just fine.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
A tie between ‘Is it possible you have AIDS?’ and ‘Please don’t tell anyone I said that, I might get struck off.’ (Different doctors.)
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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 05/08/2026
In a world where so many people are absolutely awful, live your life so you earn an obituary like this one.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
I see Jonathan and Jennifer Hart have opened a shop together
A K-beauty shop in Westfield White City, named Moida, which looks like it may sound like the word ‘murder’ in a New York accent, making this a very niche 80s joke. (I know it probably isn’t pronounced like that, please don’t write in)
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REwadent Evil @ewacat.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
when i was diagnosed age 10 we went through ALL SORTS of things that were said to "help with ADD" - weird little exercises meant to light up parts of the brain which left me with knee problems, omega 3 oils in my orange juice for breakfast, limiting foods with E numbers, not allowing me any sugar...
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I think I’m the only person in Ikea not having an argument. (I’m alone.)
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Miriam Margolyes, but as the Cadbury’s Caramel bunny.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Before I move out of this house today I should be allowed to peek into each of my neighbours’ houses to see if they have nicer bathrooms than us.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Moving house tomorrow, against my will, for the second time in a year. I have never before looked or felt as vivacious, optimistic and cheerful as I do today.
Madonna in a shoot for Interview magazine looking doleful in a head scarf, serial killer glasses and a cardigan
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Final Friztination @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Meta are sending Fucko the Knife Robot to stab you in the knee. To disable go to Accounts> Settings> Robots> Knife Robots> Fucko> Opt Out
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
In the latest Guardian Blind Date: oh. Oh no. Don't do that. Nor that. Oh. My review:
theguyliner.com
Hugh and Edie
Oh wow I didn’t even realise Olivia Colman and Penfold from Dangermouse were single. But here they are. Sorry, kidding. Hugh is 55, a teacher and musician, and has a part-time job opening sup…
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
In the latest Guardian Blind Date: oh. Oh no. Don't do that. Nor that. Oh. My review:
theguyliner.com
Hugh and Edie
Oh wow I didn’t even realise Olivia Colman and Penfold from Dangermouse were single. But here they are. Sorry, kidding. Hugh is 55, a teacher and musician, and has a part-time job opening sup…
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Sadly I’m away but I may well write up a review of the latest Guardian Blind Date tomorrow because oh no.
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Justin Myers @theguyliner.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Seven years ago today my world fell apart when my best friend died. I wrote about the rituals I perform on this day and whether they’re doing anybody any good.
theguyliner.substack.com
The truth about remembering
Forgetting, the ultimate betrayal.
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Rose Ruane @regretteruane.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
On my own, I eat like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone or an old man whose wife has just died
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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 12/07/2026
Just took the dog out for a walk with his bow tie on and some twat on a bike clocked us and called "alright girls?" after us. Seriously? "Alright girls?" Is that the best you've fucking got? Straight men really need to up their homophobia game, that is pathetic.
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SHAR⭕️N @sharona.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Actual WhatsApp exchange between my kids’ father (whose entire personality is based on football) and our gay (hates football and always has) son
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