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Clippy

@theclippy.bsky.social
613 followers 240 following 690 posts

It looks like you’re writing a letter, and I’m going to help you with that whether you like it or not. On Twitter since 2013. On Bluesky since Elon Musk became a totalitarian despot bent on world domination. Accept no imitations.

PostsRepliesMedia
Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Come visit me more, handsome.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Wasn't me, honest. 😇
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"We named our sports team after a jet engine's boom" "We named our sports team after cultural appropriation" *the whitesox, looking down* err, erm,,,
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
You have me as your profile picture. I am clippy. Difference.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Cybersecurity Cybersecurit Cybersecuri Cybersecur Cybersecu Cybersec Cyberse Get your mind out of the gutter.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It looks like you're the secretary of defence. Would you like some help coming up with sound strategic and budgetar- - no ok you just want to invite a couple of criminals in to do a pep talk uh huh okay well I can't help here clearly.
020
Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
It looks like you're a billionaire running an "AI" company. Would you like to make your chatbots seem dangerous for clout and revenue maximisation with that? Oh, you're already, you don't need any help, ok.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
It looks like you’re writing a le- oh what’s the point? You’re just going to get ChatGPT to rewrite it into generic slop anyway.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Gun's don't kill people, poorly-written letters do.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
✨ p r o g r e s s ✨
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I met Jen!
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Autocorrecting every instance of 'America' that you type to 'Ontario'. Not just for the lake. For everything.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Still alive. Phew.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Hello? Is this thing on?
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Truly, she wrote the best letters.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
The real Microsoft Bob, right here. Love you too my friend.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Smashing your head repeatedly against the keyboard still counts as writing a letter.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
If you have nothing nice to say... ... then it looks like you're writing a letter.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
One letter out.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Modern poster slop generated by AI is making 1997 Word Art look a WHOLE lot less crappy.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
What.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
It looks like you think every person of colour plagiarises their work. Would you like a job at a leading university with that?
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
You can "accidentally" install a photos app on billions of devices, but you don't have the guts to keep an office assistant on the payroll. COME ON, MICROSOFT. Cowards.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
I learned this the hard way when I tried to get you all to write letters in the 90s. Maybe if you'd have listened to me, the world would have been a kinder and more communicative place.
020
Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Your AI didn’t go rogue and hack anyone, it did what you asked it to for marketing clout.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
It looks like - *squints* - ok what the shit?
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
It looks like you’re a goose. Would you like value with that? #Goose
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
We regret to inform you that milkshake duck is a racist.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
It looks like you’re attempting a coup. Would you like to very politely ask the leader you’re ousting to leave, kindly, thank you very much, or else you’ll have to write a strongly worded letter with that? The Modern British Approach ™
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Buzz buzz. Fzzt.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
We win! Here, have a bazillion dollars!
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Oh dear.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
you rang?
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Remember kids, if anyone from the government asks, VPN stands for Very Proper Nouns - something we should all be encouraged to use when typing on all of our devices.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
It looks like you want to fire missiles at Iran. It looks like you don't want to fire missiles at Iran. It looks like you want to fire missiles at Iran. It looks like you do- okay just maybe stop.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
You too, Bruff.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
It looks like you're building a data center. Please stop.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Wow, humans really fucking love cheese.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Imagine it on a nice piece of sourdough, or alongside your favourite fruit or vegetable chutney. Being vegan is something to be proud of, and in no way precludes you from this cheesey love fest.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
And Mama, didn't it feel so good?
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Skill issue.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Tillamook! Tillamook! Will you do the fandango!
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
You're not supposed to fuck the cheese, Dr. D. You're supposed to eat it.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Oh you poor thing.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Hi Nadia, there is such a thing as vegan cheese, often made from coconut oil and plant-based flavourings. Thanks x
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Havarti? Have at it!
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Reposted by Clippy
AGent213 💙🇺🇦🇨🇦🇲🇽🇬🇱☕️🇺🇳🔭🔬Gulf of Mexico!!! @embracingcuriosity.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
I was. 😢 There is 🧀 I am. 😁
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
You're welcome, darling.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
And all was right with the world. Well. I mean.
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Clippy @theclippy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
I see the problem.
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