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Mayor Austin

@thecityofaustin.bsky.social
163 followers 132 following 242 posts

I am the city of Austin.

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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
This place sucks ✌️
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
I'm an account with basically no followers besides porn bots, but who cares. If this post is still up in the morning then I'm leaving this app behind me to rott.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
One kid is really into this doc about the world's largest cargo plane. Now every time he sees a plane he wants to compare it to the Antonov An-225 or ask me if that's the plane. Unfortunately the plane was destroyed by the Russians....
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
And just last week somebody was on here screaming about how constant access to the Internet is good for kids
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Bring back Viva Pinata you cowards
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
When I'm feeling stressed about the news I like to think about how every day there's a new 20something college kid trying weed for the first time and thinking "maybe if everyone just smoked some weed they'd chill out and things wouldn't be so polarized "
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
What I really remember about 9/11 was eating at Schlotzky's that evening
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
Spurs fans were not mean enough to Khawi when he left tbh
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
The best thing about a guy like Charlie is that my wife came home today and had no idea it had happened or who he was. He had a legacy of absolutely nothing to people who aren't poisoned by hell sites.
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Reposted by Mayor Austin
Heartland Signal @heartlandsignal.com · 10/09/2025
Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) on the shooting of Charlie Kirk: "Political violence, unfortunately, has ramped up in this country ... I think there are people who are fomenting it in this country. I think the president's rhetoric often foments it."
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
On one hand, be careful what you say and post. On the other hand, they don't actually care. They already despise you anyways because you don't hate like they do.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
Gaslighting is OUT as the hot slang for lying. Pulling the wool over eyes is IN and all the kids are saying they're being pullwooled
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
"If you plant a tree that close to the sidewalk it will cause it to become uneven." Oh wow, so the exact same thing that happens to sidewalks with no trees near them...
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Good reminder to teach my kids to not sit idly by while some conservative twerp interrupts class with their hateful shit. When I was in college multiple students would have started yelling at this turd once she started up.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
In the mornings, if I drop something in the bedroom while my wife is still asleep I like to let out a tactically soft "dammit"
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
Consumer grade mop bucket technology has come so far but refuses to give us a way to prop the mop up by itself in the bucket
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
Nobody has tried offering the Xenomorph like just some food, water, and shelter, have they?
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
I've got a couple kids, a spouse, a house, a dog etc, but now that I see that Nelly Furtado has aged I wonder what it was all for
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
Everyone remembers Clippy but only the kids who experienced maximum boredom remember that there were other characters you could change clippy to. Like a red ball or a wizard
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
Once a kid has it you give up, but tbh that dad ran way too far over to grab that ball.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Liberal elites don't comprehend or want to admit that people died for us to have what the Republicans are ripping away. The only thing they'll die defending is Republicans right to kill them
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Much like Arch Manning, I thrive when the difficulty is set to "easy"
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Do rugby players get lice? It's the only adult job I can think of where people are running their bare heads together
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
All I hear JD saying is that it's legal to drone strike him. Somebody protect us please, JD says it's legal!
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Boba tea time
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
STAAR sucks but getting rid of it is useless if they're still using whatever replaces it as a reason to take over schools and punish teachers
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
Please stop putting the Bari person on my timeline. I do not need to hear what adults clearly still suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome have to say.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
So is there a brand of smoke alarms that actually work for longer than two years?
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
We've only watched the first episode of The Paper, but Sabrina Impacciatore is just so funny
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
I know words don't have meanings anymore, but it bugs the hell out of me that the party we describe as "conservative" isn't conservative at all on education. I would wager that there is nothing less conservative than rushing bullshit barely invented technology into the classrooms.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
My insane and violent fundamentalist parents couldn't even stoop to being anti-vax. Every year when I got my shots my mom would explain how they work and how some people don't get them because they're really stupid. It's one of the only things they were correct about.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
Hey everyone, Google engineer here. I'm the guy in charge of making it so when you ask our assistant to add more time to your timer it adds it but then tells you it didn't. I'm always looking for more great feature ideas!
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Reposted by Mayor Austin
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
When you tell people you're a man of constant sorrow they don't take you serious because of the movie
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
Kawhi is like the posterboy for why it's dumb to praise athletes for seeming quiet and humble
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
🎵 Every day it's a getting closer 🎶
Kino Loy from Andor calling for a prison break with the line, "there is ONE. WAY. OUT."
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
God is only real when I'm listening to mewithoutyou
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Reposted by Mayor Austin
Ashton Pittman @ashtonpittman.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS infuriating, deplorable account of what one trans woman in the U.K. has gone through as a result of the country's shifting laws (particularly as they have moved toward explicit hatred this year). Just read it. My God.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
Get that man outside playing golf in the summer heat as much as possible before fall arrives.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
RFK is pumping him full of colloidal silver right now everyone, he's going to be okay!
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
I am so ready for Fool's Fall this weekend. I'm going to put on a jacket and everything.
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Reposted by Mayor Austin
Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
Jon Cena went to hang out with his favorite rapist for his birthday. Something to consider before we make him a saint for liking flat whites.
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Reposted by Mayor Austin
Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
If you are okay with this, if you think this is justified, if you think people living on the street have brought this upon themselves, if you think this is good leadership, you may be able to fool yourself that you care about others but you don’t fool me
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
I guess Republicans must have read those stories about how Roblox makes it easy to prey on kids
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
Through a series of unfortunate events, I ended up standing in line with other parents at my kid's new school with Zamfir the panflute musician playing at full volume from my pocketed phone. I even said "weird that they're playing music in here today" before realizing it was me.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
It's not Autumn in Texas until the boomers with two homes start reemerging down here
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
Babies are amazing because they can change their clothes twice, take a bath, and still have a hidden cheerio stuck on their thigh
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Reposted by Mayor Austin
Kate Starbird @katestarbird.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
Every day, another piece of nauseating news hits my gut in a way I thought I’d become immune to, reminding me that the decline towards fascism takes place through the actions, not just of the fascists themselves, but of weak humans who choose short term self-preservation over courage and conviction.
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
The only way this works is if they just trick him and bring a panel of 20 doctors to yell at him
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
I've used Descript for thousands of of hours and for the first time it has totally fucked me. What should have taken ten minutes is now taking a full day of work because it somehow duplicated part of a section and looped it. Then people started editing it without realizing it looped. Wtf!!!!!!!!
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Mayor Austin @thecityofaustin.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
I feel like I can tell everything I would want to know about a person based off of how they handle school drop off
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