The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Saying my daily affirmations in the mirror each morning 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Possibly the best community note of all time 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Y’all do realize this will only raise the price of adenochrome for working families, right? 022
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Serious question: People who organize their books by color or people who turn the spines around - who do we euthanize first? 020
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Nobody: Email from a company I bought a pair of novelty socks from back in 2009: “We’re updating our privacy policy!” 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Imagine paying to hear “here’s what I found on the web” 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 03/08/2026“Just text me on WhatsApp!” — your rich friend from a poor country 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Regardless of your politics, I think it’s terrible to make light of Lindsay Graham. His loafers did that enough. 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 25/04/2026If i ever opened a lesbian bar, I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 05/04/2026Happy Resurrection Day to America’s favorite Palestinian. 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 08/02/2026Why in god’s name does the NYPD need any outpost outside of NYC, let alone the country? (Zohran quote as refresher of priorities, not implication.) 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 06/02/2026The irony of being served both of these back to back. 011
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 05/02/2026New rule: You’re not a billionaire if you don’t have a billion dollars of taxable wealth. If Bezos or Musk are rich because of their stock value that can’t be taxed, then it shouldn’t count towards net worth. Otherwise you’re measuring length from the balls… and we all know that doesn’t count. 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 05/02/2026Babe, wake up. New way to say fapping just dropped. 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 02/02/2026Facebook notification: “10 of your friends are using Meta ai!” Me: “Welp… 10 of my friends are trash, apparently.” 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 27/01/2026Just downloaded. 📲 Classic social feed, no shady algorithms. Founder is Australian, where data privacy is stricter; and servers are in Ireland, whose laws & politics have consistently been on the right side of history. 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 19/01/2026Property values in the central west african lowlands about to go up… 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 08/01/2026Can we all agree this should give Trump a pass on at least ONE small child from Epstein Island? 110
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Union Square is just Times Square for Brooklyn kids 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 06/11/2025You vs. the guy she told you not to worry about. 110
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 21/10/2025Driving a giant 4-door pickup truck with a shorter bed is like walking around with a conspicuous bulge that’s mostly ball. 000
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 06/10/2025Youngest child: “why is this genocide different from all other genocides?”theguardian.comMass slaughter in Gaza stands apart from other genocides, Chris Sidoti says: ‘People cannot escape’Australian human rights expert who was on UN commission of inquiry labels Israel’s strategy a failure that ‘has not brought peace and has not destroyed Hamas’ 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 04/10/2025Hearing the President refer to PDX as “war-ravaged” (to primarily red-state supporters who will neither visit nor confirm) makes me realize this is what the United States has been saying about China, Iran, the Middle East, etc my whole life. 040
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 04/10/2025“Mom! Can we get Fukushima?” “No, we have Fukushima at home” The Fukushima at home: 000
Reposted by The Chris Michael®️Rose 🌹 @rose.bsky.team · 24/09/2025TikTok’s US operations are changing hands and will be retraining the algo on US-only data. No word yet on whether a new app is needed. Meanwhile, @skylight.social — the TikTok of the atmosphere — is seeing massive growth this week. 🔗 skylight.socialskylight.social 1092621388
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 19/09/2025No one: No one at all: Literally nobody: Not a soul: ChatGPT: “you’re very welcome!” 020
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 16/09/2025That one stiff gym sock under your bed 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 01/09/2025My upstairs neighbor at 11:00 at night 010
The Chris Michael®️ @thechrismichael.bsky.social · 17/08/2025I wish people who call themselves “neurospicy” brought that same self-diagnosed ‘spiciness’ to conversation, or science, or journalism, or the arts, or humanities, or politics, or corporate world… instead of just brandishing it like a get-out-of-jail-free card to absolve themselves of accountability 110
