iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 14/10/2026

This just popped up in my YouTube suggestions, and it took way longer than it should have for me to realize that isn't an Atari 2600 in the picture.

A YouTube thumbnail with the text "EMERGENCY REPAIR".
The headline for the thumbnail reads "This part costs $10,000 PER DAY until FIXED"
Posted by YouTube User "Glease Man"

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 11/10/2026

Later tonight on KAPM: BEES! MILLIONS OF BEES! BEES THAT STING AND EAT HUMAN EYEBALLS! AUGHHHHHH! NO! WHO LET THEM IN?! THEY'RE IN MY GOGGLES! NO! WHY?!? ... But first, the Internet's favorite Cap'm is back with more Tarkov misadventures, and - one hopes - less vomit this time. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...simultaneously. Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia begin to tunnel out of the kitchen on day 4, in order to escape.

9:00 47 GAME NIGHT - FEATURING ESCAPE FROM TARKOV Short on cash, and low on ammo, The Cap'm does a bunch of lowkey chill Labs runs. Because those exist. Meanwhile, short on cash, and low on ammo, Birdie has one final trick up her sleeves. Because those exist.

11:00 2 8 MURDER, SHE WROTE (CC) Jessica visits her nephew in Boise and someone dies. A bunch of...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 09/10/2026

Later tonight on KAPM: Sure, selling seashells by the seashore sounds like a secure and steady side-gig, but senior scientists say that the economic soap suds supporting this summer's seashell surge show signs that they may be starting to 'splode. But first, I do some stuff. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...come to a head when Norm and Woody begin moonlighting for the CIA. Sam tries to seduce a barstool. Rebecca is present.

9:15 47 GAME NIGHT - FEATURING ESCAPE FROM TARKOV For reasons surpassing understanding, Cap decides to try a Tarkov map he has not played before and has not looked up. Will the results be as predictable as we... er... predict? Possible hobby work to follow.

11:15 2 10 21 47 QUANTUM LEAP (CC) Sam leaps into a plate of spaghetti in 1982 rural Wyoming. Al...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 02/10/2026

TONIGHT ON KAPM Do you eat beans? Do you like George Wendt? Would you eat beans with George Wendt? You might not be alone. Our own Blailor Tayre has more later, but first: The Cap'm's back with an all-new run-of-the-mill adventure that you've seen before but won't want to miss! twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...Janeane Garofalo. We just kind of turned the camera on and locked the door behind us. Viewer discretion is advised.

10:00 47 KAPM PRESENTS: CHILLIN' WITH THE CAP'M (CC) Cap longs for something new but sticks with something old, besides himself: Escape from Tarkov. Birdie's long-passed days as an international jewel thief may not be as long-passed as she thought.

1:00 86 99 GET SMART Series Finale - KAOS finally kills Max and The Chief by trapping them in the Cone of Silence with no air, in a daring plan called...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 30/09/2026

Later tonight on KAPM: Cats - are they planning something behind your back? Our staff psychic, Blaylor Taire has a report you won't want to miss. But first, a super short Tarkov stream with The Cap'm, because he got distracted and forgot what time it was. Yay! twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...sixth consecutive week. Tonight: "The Mc's and Mac's", part 3. Viewers are asked to take frequent hydration breaks.

9:30 47 CHILLIN' WITH THE CAP'M (CC) After a day of dealing with Claude Code and Proxmox, Cap is very ready to start clicking heads, torsos, groins, and whatever else Tarkovians leave exposed. Birdie has taken a personal day to have a 'planning session' with her accountant.
Certified Public Accountant: Walter Brimley

12:00 4 8 MACGYVER (CC) MacGyver uses his silk shirt to try to defuse a quantum bomb, only to find out that it wasn't genuine silk after all. Series...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 29/09/2026

Later tonight on KAPM, the latest influencer craze is razor-sharp slap bracelets. But are they as safe - and cool - as they sound? Our own Taylor Blaire keeps you... in the loop. But first, that crazy Cap'm and his little dog Birdie are heading back to Tarkov to click heads. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...considers a career change after Gushie is discovered to have been using Ziggy to rig Kalshi bets this whole time.

9:30 47 CHILLIN' WITH THE CAP'M (CC) Cap tries a new tactical method in Escape from Tarkov - clicking on the heads of the mans. Birdie, in holding after allegedly biting an officer, gets in trouble for attempting to sublet her cell in order to make some side cash.

12:00 123 CHEERS (CC) As supplies dwindle in the blizzard of '82, Norm and Cliff decide to kill and eat Woody. Sam's hair files emancipation paperwork.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 23/09/2026

Coming up on KAPM: More Escape from Tarkov hijinks, skullduggery, shenanigans, and other such things. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV if you're nasty. Or not. Honestly, nastiness is not required. That was just a pop culture reference that probably missed the mark. Oh well.

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...refuses to travel back to the land of Make-Believe. Mister Rogers, slowly and calmly, explains breach of contract laws.

11:00 47 KAPM: CHILLIN' WITH THE CAP'M (CC) Thinking she could make some fast money, Birdie acquires a strange glowing rock through her extensive network of contacts. Cap begins to exhibit superhuman powers, making him unstoppable. They do not work in Tarkov.

1:30 2 4 8 CHEERS (CC) Cliff's conspiracy theories come to a head when Norm and Woody begin moonlighting for the CIA. Sam tries to seduce a...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 14/09/2026

Coming up on KAPM, start the week off right with Tarkov and The Cap'm! Cap is wrapping up the story quests pretty quickly, which is really putting a damper on his excuse for avoiding Icebreaker of "wanting to play for the story". The Cap'm: Doing Everything But [Icebreaker]! twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...nephew in Boise and someone dies. A bunch of old people are involved. The police, exhausted, arrest Jessica on principle and shoot the nephew.

11:30 47 KAPM: CHILLIN' WITH THE CAP'M (CC) Cap avoids going to Lighthouse by coming up with various sorry excuses. Birdie misunderstands "mining crypto" and is arrested for grave robbing.
Local Magistrate: The Winklevoss Twins

1:30 4 8 MACGYVER (CC) Trapped in a locked room with only a paper clip, a rubber band, and a fully functional door key, MacGyver builds a small...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 11/09/2026

Coming up on KAPM, it's Chillin' with The Cap'm, featuring Escape from Tarkov madness. Has Cap finally bitten off more than he can chew? Find out at twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A TV Guide style TV episode listing, with descriptions of episodes, which reads:

...advances towards the neighbor's cat. Willie files an insurance claim. Kate questions the marriage. ALF: Nicole "Snooki" LaValle

11:00 47 KAPM: CHILLIN' WITH THE CAP'M (CC) Cap, still playing Escape from Tarkov, gets in over his head. Birdie gets a bartending job at the airport and gets in trouble with the drug sniffing dogs that work there. https://twitch.tv/TheCapmTV
TSA Agent: Dick Van Dyke

3:00 4 8 MACGYVER (CC) Trapped in a locked room with only a paper clip, a rubber band, and a fully functional door key, MacGyver builds a small...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 09/09/2026

Coming up on KAPM TV: 🫘The Cap'm plays Escape from Tarkov and says cusses. There have been some big changes to Lighthouse and the Lightkeeper tasks. Let's go check it out and be disappointed together! twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

In "Rocco's Modern Life" style, the graphic says:

Next on
KAPM TV
The Cap'm
plays Tarkov
and says
cusses.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 07/09/2026

Holy Geez it's The Cap'm's Birthday Stream twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

Holy Geez it's The Cap'm's Birthday Stream
https://twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 07/09/2026

Coming up on KAPM TV: 📎The Cap'm Plays, featuring Escape from Tarkov - because it's good to change things up every now and then. ⚰️ Oh, and it's Cap's Dumb Ol' Birthday. So go sub. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 02/09/2026

Coming up tonight on KAPM TV: 🦷The Cap'm plays Tarkov - will Streets run him over? Tune in to find out. 🖥️Maybe some dev work on a Tarkov-centric project I've been working on. Stop by if you feel so inclined! twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A parody of an Olive Garden advertisement, with the text replaced to the following:

Escape from Tarkov
When you're here, you're dead

Против судьбы не попрёшь (something like "You can't push against fate")

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 30/08/2026

Coming Up Next On KAPM: an old guy who doesn't wear diapers and isn't a little bitch plays some video games. Starting soon at twitch.tv/TheCapmTV In other news, what an odd name for a lake.

A MapQuest map showing Lake Ontario, but it is labeled as "Lake Coming Up Next On KAPM: an old guy who doesn't wear diapers and isn't a little bitch plays some video games. Starting soon at https://twitch.tv/TheCapmTV"

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 16/05/2026

🎵 They revamped the Best Buy completely; now it looks just like a nightclub. Everyone's excited and confused... 🎵

Interior of a modern Best Buy. The ceiling is painted black, which gives the whole place the feeling of a convention center exhibition area on remodel #6, or a restaurant in a strip mall that's trying their best to provide some "cool" atmosphere with what they've got.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 08/05/2026

Stream starting soonish. Tarkov tomfoolery will be involved - I'm just not sure how yet. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV #streaming #tarkov

Philosoraptor meme, saying "If it is typical to start the stream late, is that the same as starting on time?"

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 04/04/2026

Cap'm's Log, Engineering: 18 hours and 35 minutes into an 18 hour and 51 minute print, a vital piece of the structure broke off and cannot be recovered (at least, I don't know how to recover from this). Starting over... #3dprinting

A failed 3D print of a turntable bed, about 95% complete. Part of the turntable support broke off in a way that I don't really know how to recover from.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 31/03/2026

Post an image you can hear.

Maxwell Smart and the Chief using the Cone of Silence - a running gag on Get Smart that never worked properly.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 09/11/2025

After 50 years, this is all that remains of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 02/09/2025

Hiatus is over. Tomorrow night, we answer the call...

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 13/07/2025

Won't you tell me how to get How to get to

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 30/05/2025

I got an 1800 day streak on DuoLingo. And now I'm cancelling DuoLingo today to protest the idea that AI is better than people at helping people learn language.

A DuoLingo graphic that says "I'm on a 1800 day learning streak!"

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 15/05/2025

Administrative note: Commander Birdie has been appointed Ambassador for Interdimensional Affairs. She will represent TheCapmTV in all negotiations, treaties, and inexplicable dimensional anomalies. Her qualifications include loyalty, intuition, and the ability to detect vibes at subatomic levels.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 10/05/2025

For anyone who needs a #PetPicture, here's Commander Birdie tucked in and comfy in bed.

A very cute little dog, tucked in and comfy in bed.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 10/05/2025

Midwest trip update: Stopped in Wisconsin for lunch. This was in the salads section of the menu. It is not a salad, it is a pizza with a lettuce crust.

A restaurant menu with the following item:
Pals Supremo Salad
Spinach, pepperoni, Italian sausage, red onion, green peppers, mushrooms, mozzarella cheese, drizzled with Italian vinaigrette.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 03/05/2025

The average American has three friends

A screenshot from Newhart showing Larry, his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 21/04/2025

Here's some AI slop. Let's play some more Tarkov. I might actually know where I'm going now. DISCLAIMER: I don't know where I'm going now. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV. Also, for reference: open.spotify.com/track/63nwX8...

Streaming, streaming
Streaming and Tarkov scheming
The Cap’m’s spine is yelling early
Streaming, with broken headphones
And Tarkov crawling through his dreams

TheCapmTV dies all the time
He runs the pain shift
He runs the food shift
He runs the "scav in a bush" shift

Streaming, streaming
Streaming and Tarkov scheming
The Cap’m clutches one Tushonka
Streaming, with shaking hands—
He’s limping out with a dream and a can

The Cap’m escapes… when he can

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 18/03/2025

I went snorkeling. I almost died.

A picture of me looking like I almost died.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 09/03/2025

@trashpandacoco.bsky.social I think I'm having dinner with a friend of yours.

A Godzilla doll on the shelf in a Japanese restaurant in Seattle.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 16/12/2024

Cancelling the stream for today, y'all. I feel rotten and don't think I'd be very fun to hang out with. Here's my stream schedule for this week - hopefully

Schedule for the week of December 16, 2024.
Streams starting at 9AM Pacific Time.
Monday 16 DEC - Cancelled
Tuesday 17 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Wednesday 18 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Thursday 19 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Friday 20 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Saturday 21 DEC - Off the air
Sunday 22 DEC - Off the air

KAPM 47
THE CAP'M TV

Web: https://thecapm.tv
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/theCapmTV
BlueSky: @thecapm.tv
Discord: https://discord.gg/u58dxb3T3P

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 09/12/2024

Going live shortly with some #EscapeFromTarkov. twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

Schedule for the week of December 09, 2024.
Streams starting at 9AM Pacific Time.
Monday 09 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Tuesday 10 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Wednesday 11 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Thursday 12 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Friday 13 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Saturday 14 DEC - Off the air
Sunday 15 DEC - Off the air

KAPM 47
THE CAP'M TV

Web: https://thecapm.tv
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/theCapmTV
BlueSky: @thecapm.tv
Discord: https://discord.gg/u58dxb3T3P

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 03/12/2024

Late as usual, here's my stream schedule for this week. As you can see, I'm taking some time away from Twitch, where I will be touching grass. See y'all on Friday, unless plans change. Cap'm out.

Schedule for the week of December 02, 2024.
Streams starting at 9AM Pacific Time.
Monday 02 DEC - Off the air
Tuesday 03 DEC - Off the air
Wednesday 04 DEC - Off the air
Thursday 05 DEC - Off the air
Friday 06 DEC - Escape from Tarkov
Saturday 07 DEC - Off the air
Sunday 08 DEC - Off the air

KAPM 47
THE CAP'M TV

Web: https://thecapm.tv
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/theCapmTV
BlueSky: @thecapm.tv
Discord: https://discord.gg/u58dxb3T3P

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 25/11/2024

My schedule for my twitch stream, the week of November 25th, 2024: twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

Monday 25th: Escape from Tarkov and Subnautica
Tuesday: Escape from Tarkov and Minecraft
Wednesday: Escape from Tarkov ????

Thursday: Escape from Tarkov ????

Friday: OFF THE AIR ????

Saturday: OFF THE AIR

Sunday: OFF THE AIR

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 29/10/2024

We're back on the air after 3 weeks and playing some Escape from Tarkov. We'll be starting a bit late today - I accidentally approved the Windows 11 24H2 Update and it's taking forever to install. We'll see how much works on the other end. Hope to see all soon! #promosky #twitch #streamer

Schedule for the week of October 28, 2024.
Streams starting at 9AM Pacific Time.
Monday 28 OCT - CANCELLED Escape from Tarkov is jetlag allows.
Tuesday 29 OCT - Escape from Tarkov and ???????
Wednesday 30 OCT - Escape from Tarkov if XFinity allows.
Thursday 31 OCT - Escape from Tarkov.
Friday 1 NOV - Escape from Tarkov.
Saturday 2 NOV - Off the air.
Sunday 3 NOV - Off the air.

KAPM 47
THE CAP'M TV

Web: https://thecapm.tv
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/theCapmTV
X: @thecapmtv
BlueSky: @thecapm.tv
Discord: https://discord.gg/u58dxb3T3P

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 25/10/2024

Posting this early because I can't fucking wait to get back, y'all.

Schedule for the week of October 28, 2024.
Streams starting at 9AM Pacific Time.
Monday 28 OCT - Escape from Tarkov is jetlag allows.
Tuesday 29 OCT - Escape from Tarkov is jetlag allows.
Wednesday 30 OCT - Escape from Tarkov if XFinity allows.
Thursday 31 OCT - Escape from Tarkov.
Friday 1 NOV - Escape from Tarkov.
Saturday 2 NOV - Off the air.
Sunday 3 NOV - Off the air.

KAPM 47
THE CAP'M TV

Web: https://thecapm.tv
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/theCapmTV
X: @thecapmtv
BlueSky: @thecapm.tv
Discord: https://discord.gg/u58dxb3T3P

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 21/10/2024

Here's my [late] schedule for the week. This will be more meaningful once I'm back on the air.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 19/10/2024

Post a photo you took with green in it. Just a photo. No description.

The best dog in Europe, relaxing on a multicolored rug.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 18/10/2024

People and gentlemen: the best martini I've ever had. It tastes like lemon water. I could down a liter of this before realizing there's booze in it.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 18/10/2024

Hey #new Bluesky members. I'm The Cap'm. I have a channel on #Twitch where I play video games and you can watch! I usually play Escape From #Tarkov, but I'll be branching out more once I return from hiatus at the end of the month. Check me totally out at twitch.tv/thecapmtv Returning in 1 week.

My dog, Birdie, is hoping that you'll visit my stream.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 14/10/2024

Chat, help! I broke a statue!

A man sitting in a chair, holding his head in grief, in front of a pile of loose gravel.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 13/10/2024

Deleted the old post because it used a font that I don't have the rights to. The other graphic was a mock-up for fonts I want to license and was posted by mistake. Anyway, no streams until 30 OCT.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 13/10/2024

Some serious-ass Assassin's Creed energy in this town.

A picture of a tower in Paris with gargoyles and prominences.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 17/09/2024

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #359,880!

Celebrating 10M users
#359880 Certified Bluesky Elder (First 10%)
The Cap'm
@thecapm.tv Joined Jul 24, 2023

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 13/09/2024

Friday the 13th stream! Featuring Escape from Tarkov! Starting soon... twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A worn, postcard looking card featuring a picture of The Cap'm, with arms crossed, standing in front of a sunrise. The words "The Cap'm Show" appear in the upper right-hand corner.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 12/09/2024

On a very special episode of The Cap'm Show, The Cap'm plays video games and says stuff. You won't want to miss it... Starting soon... twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A cel-shaded title card for 'The Cap'm Show' featuring The Cap'm with a light beard, wearing a white captain's hat, aviator sunglasses, and a black Hawaiian shirt with white flowers. The background shows a sunny sky with soft light rays and a 1970s aesthetic, with the title in bold, vintage-style lettering.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 11/09/2024

Starting late, but still starting. Today's very special episode of The Cap'm Show, The Cap'm will ... brace yourselves ... play video games. Featuring #EscapeFromTarkov Starting soon... twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A cel-shaded title card for 'The Cap'm Show' featuring The Cap'm with a light beard. He wears a white naval captain's hat, aviator sunglasses with yellow-tinted lenses, a black Hawaiian shirt with a white flower pattern, and white pants. The background displays a bright, sunny morning sky with soft light rays. The image has a 1970's era aesthetic, with warm, slightly faded colors and a grainy texture. The title 'The Cap'm Show' appears in bold, vintage-style lettering at the top, giving it a retro feel.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 10/09/2024

Customs, Factory, and then back to Woods on today's very special episode of The Cap'm Show, featuring Escape from Tarkov. Starting soon... twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A cel-shaded title card for a morning episode of 'The Cap'm Show' featuring The Cap'm. He stands confidently with arms crossed, smiling slightly, wearing a white naval captain's hat, aviator sunglasses with yellow-tinted lenses, a black Hawaiian shirt with a white flower pattern, and white pants. The background shows a bright, sunny morning sky with soft light rays. The title 'The Cap'm Show' appears in bold, playful lettering at the top, with 'Morning Episode' underneath, all in a comic-like, cel-shaded art style.

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The Cap'm @thecapm.tv · 09/09/2024

A more stream on #twitch! Featuring Escape from #Tarkov! Wait... "a more stream"? What does that even mean? How does that make any sense? Who writes this crap? Come see if I ever figure it out! Starting soon... twitch.tv/TheCapmTV

A 1970's-esque title card showing that the Cap'm will be playing Escape from Tarkov on stream today.

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