iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/09/2023

hi bluesky I'm still alive and Samson is doing well

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 29/08/2023

I've written you all a letter. Thank you for your time. @alt-text.bsky.social

Hello all,
I cannot apologize enough for my actions or thank anyone enough for their support.
One of my anxiety habits is to try and fix any problem I have caused immediately. I cannot handle when I feel like someone is mad at or feel like someone hates me and when I've been off my anxiety medication, in the midst of drug withdrawal, everything is magnified to catatrosphic levels. None of this excuses my behavior towards Grace or anyone I interacted with.
I felt scared and trapped inside my own skin and like my body was trying to grow out of it. I felt like I was both in control and out of control when I was clearly so out of control that I couldn't see it. It was gross behavior, I betrayed my own thoughts and morals and hurt someone that actually cared about me and someone I actually cared for. I have had a lot of incidents this year on this website with racism or a lot of people getting mad at me and it was all happening again but I couldn't take it because I was off my medication.
T

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 28/08/2023

I have treated people awfully and I have lost a lot of people's trust. My personal hangups and anxieties around women should have never been forced onto people who showed true sympathy and empathy towards me. I have fucked up beyond measure. My Discord is TheBlackNerd if anyone wants to discuss

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 28/08/2023

Please read the whole thread. Women and femmes are not my personal therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, comforter. They are their own people. I was off my medication and was experiencing drug withdrawal in combination with my usual mental illness. But that is no excuse.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 26/08/2023

Please do not tag Grace in this. I have already deleted her number from my phone. I have already caused her enough pain.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 26/08/2023

I can only hope that I can regain anyone's trust in the future. You can either choose to believe I'm being honest or not, but every everything I've said has been my honest experience, and again, it's no excuse for that kind of behavior. I will be truly gone now. Please take care of yourselves.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 26/08/2023

I was not feeling myself. And that is no excuse. I felt trapped inside my own body and there was someone who there who treated me so genuinely kind that I didn't want to lose that. I overstepped my boundaries and let my insecurities dictate my behavior. I lost respect. Apologies mean nothing.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 26/08/2023

Today is my birthday and I'm not asking for anything, I am definitely not asking for forgiveness. But I would like to explain my actions. Again I am not asking for forgiveness but a little understanding.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

Mental illness and insecurities are no excuse for abhorrent behavior. No one should ever have to be harassed or have their privacy invaded because of my feelings. I am sorry to Grace for everything I have done. I am sorry to all of you for having let you down. Goodbye.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I never deserved anything you have done for me. You have been overwhelming kind to me. You have done everything for me and I fucked. You are a good person and you deserve people who treat you with respect and I have not done that. I am genuinely sorry. I have nothing else to say.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

Grace, I am so sorry, please. You have been nothing but gracious and kind and I have been an awful, awful person. Please, I am so sorry. I should never have put my feelings first because you're the one who is hurt. I am genuinely sorry. I don't know what else to say. I've fucked up terribly

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I have done something truly awful to someone I cared about and someone who cared about me. I can never do anything to make it up and I am going to log off. I won't name her but she deserves much better than anything that I could ever have done. I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused and goodbye.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

There's nothing I can do to make up any of this to you. I didn't deserve your graciousness or kindness and I don't deserve you explaining anything to me. I deserved to be aired out like this. I'm an awful person to have put you through this. You deserve much better. I'm sorry and goodbye.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

No, I deserve this. Grace I am so sorry for everything I've done to you. I don't know all of where I've posted anything private about us. I'm sorry for bringing any of this to you. I was having a panic attack when I kept texting you but that's no excuse. I am so sorry for everything

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I will think about what I've done. I'm logging off now. I'm sorry if my behavior has been untoward or unseemly. Apologies are useless but I'm sorry.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

Understood. I will be logging off and thinking on anything I've done. I know apologies are useless but I'm sorry.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

Understood. I truly don't know what I did. I am being 100% genuine. If I said something I don't remember, I have been on new medication, that's no excuse but I will reflect on anything I've said to anyone.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

Miriam, I am so sorry for anything I've done. I have not been myself recently and that's no excuse for any behavior I have displayed towards anyone. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart to anyone I've hurt. I will be logging off now and I once again apologize to anyone and everyone.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I'm so sorry that any of my behavior has been unwanted or untoward, I am sorry to anyone that I've hurt.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I don't know what behavior I have exhibited that needs to be changed but what it is, I will change. I am sorry to anyone for anything and everything that I've done.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I would sincerely like to understand what I have done to anyone. I am open to listening. I just want to know.

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

they are replying to this saying I have done something and I am sincerely trying to find out what I did bsky.app/profile/theb...

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I'm so sorry, please anyone just tell me

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

If I have done anything please message me on Discord I am TheBlackNerd on there too I am so sorry for anything I have done and I am just trying to understand what I have done and to who

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I just feel so bad that I could have done something to someone and not know what I did

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

it's weird because the replies don't show up in my notifications?? but people are very much saying I have done something and it would insane and rude to post screeenshots of that

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I've realized that and have apologized and haven't done it in a while but if there's something recently I would also like to apologize for that

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

like, I'm being replied directly into things but not being told what I did and I really want to apologize to anyone I hurt for anything I did

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I am truly sorry for anything that I've done to hurt anyone. I would never say or do anything to hurt anyone and from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry. Y'all have been nothing but gracious to me and I don't know what I did but I'll do anything to fix it

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I don't know! There's just people talking about SOMETHING I did and I don't know what that SOMETHING IS

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

i just want to know what i did so i can apologize

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

no one is telling me anything and i just keep seeing talking around me or what i did and it's putting me in a dark place

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

no one will tell me and i just want to apologize to anyone i've hurt

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

there's literally people telling me i did something but i don't know what i did and it's eating me alive

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

i legitimately don't know what i did and i'm sorry i'm sorry to everyone i hurt, i'm legitimately just looking for answers i'm open and available to talk on discord, i just want to understand i'm so sorry, i just don't want to have hurt someone

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

I literally have no idea!! No one will tell me!

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

i'm being accused of something but no one is telling me anything???

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

@corrinvalentine.bsky.social corrin did I do something? I need to know if I hurt someone because I genuinely don't know and I'm scared to have hurt someone

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

If I did anything to anyone that was offensive or I hurt anyone in any way, please let me know because I'm genuinely sorry I just don't know what I could have done, I've barely been on here and I've barely talked to anyone

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

hey meghan did I do something because I keep getting disappearing post from people saying I did something but not telling me what I did and I'm genuinely sorry if I did anything to anyone

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 24/08/2023

I'm completely honest. I have no idea what's happening. I really haven't talked to anyone!!

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 24/08/2023

why is no one replying to me? what did i do?? I've barely been on this website

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terence wiggins @theblacknerd.bsky.social · 24/08/2023

I'm sorry, I don't know what I did?? I'm trying to find out, I haven't even been talking to anyone

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