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The April ®

@theapril.bsky.social
1.1K followers 131 following 960 posts

FR❄️SŢY BIŢÇH ® #UCLA 📍ȈȻЄꞀⱭȠĐ 🎈Born August 10

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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
When you've fulfilled $600k in donations, volunteered your bilingual skills for years at children's hospitals and multiple trips to the US-Mex border, gone to Jordan to help ailing Muslims, and become a gay-rights/women empowerment ACLU Ambassador, then you can judge Amber Heard. Until then, STFU.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
My male stripper name would be "Bubba Baffs."
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Armenia and Switzerland were robbed. #Eurovisión #Eurovisión2026 #Eurovision
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
"Dexys Midnight Moustache." - Norway #Eurovisión #Eurovisión2026 #Eurovision
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
ROMANIA! Denmark! Armenia! Australia! #Eurovisión #Eurovisión2026 #Eurovision
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
ROMANIA! Denmark! Armenia! #Eurovisión #Eurovisión2026 #Eurovision
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
ROMANIA! Armenia! #Eurovisión #Eurovisión2026 #Eurovision
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Liz Climo @lizclimo.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Hamster says to bear “I like your hat.” Bear replies “thanks. You can borrow it.” Hamster is now wearing the hat and it’s covering its entire little body. Bear says “Lookin’ good”
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Liz Climo @lizclimo.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
#wbw
A mouse and a squirrel eat acorns together. Mouse says “I like acorns” squirrel replies “same. I like that they come with a little hat.” In the next panel, they are both wearing the top of the acorns like little hats.
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Liz Climo @lizclimo.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
April, bear is in workout clothes and is holding a milkshake
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Happy Amber Heard Day, everyone!
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
This is absolutely crazy. I felt like Michigan and Arizona were the best two teams midway through the Madness, but no one saw this coming. College basketball is a game of momentums, but I think the lead just grew too large. #FinalFour #BearDown #GoBlue
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
I don't care which team you're rooting for- the Michigan Wolverines vs the Arizona Wildcats is as good as basketball gets in 2026. F the NBA. #FinalFour #BearDown #GoBlue
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
For all of you Flat Earthers out there who are saying the Artemis II image is cgi or ai, please never procreate.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
Adding a splash of orange juice to my cup of black tea may just very well be the best life-hack, ever.
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nathanwpyle @nathanwpyle.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
a more interesting thing to tell your kids is that these are all scale replicas of the monsters that have attacked our city
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
I feel so sorry for all of the Yankeelakercowboys fans on the edge of their seat out there watching Siena fuck Duke up the ass right now.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Every year I dust off my Paramount+ app to watch March Madness, and every year I see the commercials and wonder how anyone on the planet can watch network TV.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
There is perhaps no greater St Patrick's Day tradition than wearing a green plastic derby while pulling up satellite imagery on your phone, and watching yourself puke via Google Earth®.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
"Erin go blaaaaaaagh!" - You puking up Jameson and omelettes three hours after the St. Patty's Day Breakfast Hop
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
With respect to the flashing twelves, nothing spells "the power must have gone out" to narcoleptic cable subscribers quite like seeing pestilent Arthur cartoons on your TV screen the moment you arise.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Chris Collinsworth is the Matthew McConaughey of Troy Aikmans.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
This is your friendly reminder that last year the Cleveland Browns brought on a "coaching and personnel consultant" named Mike Vrabel, who just took the hapless New England Patriots back to the Super Bowl in his first year as Head Coach, after Cleveland fired the HC they kept. 😂
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
Instead of cocaine, I like to snort various spices so my sneezes have flavour.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
Instead of cocaine, I like to snort various spices so my sneezes have flavour.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
This should be white up your alley.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
This should be white up your alley.
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
I'm thinking of starting up a corporation. Not for any unique product or services, just mostly so I can pioneer a zany new Human Resources department and name it "H.R. Pufnstuf."
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
I'm thinking of starting up a corporation. Not for any unique product or services, just mostly so I can pioneer a zany new Human Resources department and name it "H.R. Pufnstuf."
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
I'm just going to leave this here.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
I'm just going to leave this here.
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Liz Climo @lizclimo.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Top: hedgehog, mouse & hamster are having a seance, but the crystal ball is missing. Hedgehog says “let’s begin the seance” hamster asks “wait, where’d the crystal ball go” Bottom: pull out to reveal dog off to the side, the crystal ball is in its mouth
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
See, I attend the Copay Conventions, where they actually give me a free cosplay costume, just as long as I tell people about InsureCo's reasonable out-of-pocket liability coverage.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
It's called "giving back," folks.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
Be sure to check here daily for more of my Halloween tips!
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Of course, this is the first Browns game since 0-16 that I consciously choose to skip. -.-
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 12/10/2025
One day, I shall open up a chain of sex toy stores and name it "Whoreticulture."
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
Toofless.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
Halloweiners.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.
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Asher Perlman @asherperlman.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
Toofless.
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The April ® @theapril.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
Halloweiners.
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