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Runs with scissors in the dark

@tevistickles.bsky.social
7.7K followers 3.9K following 9K posts

HUMOR. SATIRE. SNARK. 🏳️‍🌈 He/Him WOKE. Animal Shenanigans. Bespoke shitposting. Caturday 🐈.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 6h
Logging off
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 7h
This octopus is a ladies man and knows he's got it all going on.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 8h
To finish off my freedom tour today. I stopped by Sonora Carne Asada House in Colombia city (Prime Taco) for a variety of enormous tacos and then at Molly Moon's for a pint of baracky road ice cream. I am stuffed, happy and there are no dishes to do.....
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 12h
Roberto has been on Onlycats for 3 days but is already raking in the cash.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 12h
I'm shopping at Goodwill right now. Should I buy it?
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 15h
A screenshot of Mayor McCheeze from the press conference that ended his political career.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 17h
When did mice stop doing this?
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 19h
How they do it in France.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 20h
If I ran a pub.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 21h
Marilyn Manson looks like Nicolas Cage disguised as Marilyn Manson. IMHO
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 21h
Good morning everybody!! JICYDK.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Logging off
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I love the tiny people and practice sobriety, so this....might be just the thing for me. 🤷
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Back in the day when I was a waiter at Ihop and some gay dude ordered a rooty tooty fresh and fruity I would just stand there like this.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'm out of cherry Outshine fruitsicles again and thats just sad.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Wait... Aren't we supposed to avoid putting the children in sealed bags?
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This Capybarra is just exhausted.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
What the hell is up with pizza in Brazil?
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Meanwhile over in the llama enclosure...
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Well fuck.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Eating healthy is important to me but then the stressful shit happens.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Who's having a spot of tea?
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Good morning everybody!! It's officially pumpkin spice everything season today. 🦇🍅💀🦇🍅💀🦇🍅💀🦇
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'm not religious, but here's something some of you could add to your nightly prayer ritual. If you're so inclined.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is a real, unedited photograph of a famous Scottish Fold cat named Dog. He "works" at a fish market in Vietnam, wearing a yellow raincoat and fishermen's hat.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I'm convinced that one of these statements is not entirely true.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
🐎🔊
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Full cranial angora snood.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
🤷
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I'm too sexy for my church...
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
And now an inappropriate conspiratorial comment from Kevin...
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Iceland looks amazing.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Good morning everybody!! Aunt Lisa led a double life. She was always a loving mom and Boy Scout den mother plus a top selling Tupperware lady. But she loved her slot machines & pharmaceuticals and had a decades long lesbian affair with karen, the cocktail waitress at the bowling alley lounge.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Logging off
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Caregiving isn't easy but I've found ways to kick back and decompress.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Unfucking believable.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Roger feels a homicide coming on. #StupidLegoCat
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The emus of perpetual astonishment just found out what humans actually do to each other in hotel rooms.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I ran across these disco balls on the internet...so now you have too.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I wonder what kind of dipping sauce pairs well with Capybara?
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm off to the dermatologist for my biannual full body skin cancer check. So I'll be sitting in an exam room in my tighty whities looking like this.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Good morning everybody!! Show me your doodles!
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Albert put a curse on the vet and is expecting him to drop dead before sundown.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Some people employ their house ghosts to exterminate spiders and roaches.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A most excellent example of urban art.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Miranda loves her new hat.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A nest of baby crash test dummies waiting for mom to come back and feed them.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Even this usually mild mannered babushka has had it with my ginger cat jokes.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I rarely eat citrus but when I do I tend to make up little stories about the sultan with the fantastical tangerine turban.
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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
My laptop does not have one of these and that kind of pisses me off.
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