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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond

@tedraymond.bsky.social
2.8K followers 725 following 5.3K posts

The Worst Reporter in Ottawa, Canada, and possibly even the world. Responsible for all of your problems. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTER. DO BETTE

PostsRepliesMedia
Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Logging back into this to let you all know that I read all of your criticism and I take all of it extremely personally. I sleep very poorly. You have almost broken me. I am literally The Worst and deserve all of your derision and hatred. The self-flagellation will continue until I DO BETTER.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
JUST WALK OUT
you can leave!!!
work
social thing
movies
home 
class
dentist
clothes shoppi
too fancy weed store
cops if your quick
friend ships
IF IT SUCKS... HIT DA BRICKS!!
real winners quit
DA SHARE Z0NE
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Leviathan isn't weak to ice, it's weak to lightning. You need a summer storm!
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Apparently, lots of people didn't know the multiply-by-nine hand trick she did.
ctvnews.ca
The ‘Lady Gaga of math education’ is on a mission to make math cool
Dubbed the “Lady Gaga of math education,” Vanessa Vakharia is a math teacher, a musician, and a two-time math failure, she proudly says.
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
Julie S. Lalonde @julieslalonde.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
The decision was wrong and this editorial is too. The only way anyone can describe the convoy as merely "annoying" is if they never set foot in the red zone at all. It's literally incomprehensible that you would've been downtown Ottawa when this was happening and thought it was a nothing burger.
theglobeandmail.com
Globe editorial: The Liberals’ unacceptable Charter breach
Federal Court of Appeal confirms that Trudeau government trampled the Charter rights of the Freedom Convoy protesters
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/01/2026
Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In Canada theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-sk…
Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In Canada
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
Of course Superior would say that, from the rooms of her ice-water mansion.
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CTV News Ottawa @ctvnewsottawa.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
Global Affairs, Canadian Heritage issue notices to public servants
bit.ly
Global Affairs, Canadian Heritage issue notices to public servants
The Public Service Alliance of Canada says 1,171 of its members at Global Affairs received affected notices on Thursday, one of five departments to notify employees about possible job cuts under the comprehensive expenditure review.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
I don't wanna pay rent I'm a Toys "R" Us store I owe a million bucks for Toys "R" Us To my new landlord
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
Jean-Baptiste Zeller @esurnir.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Finally found it, the gender fluid
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
The video / The comments
An Ottawa Bylaw officer explains the winter weather parking ban on Jan. 15, from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. in a TikTok video posted by CTV Your Morning Ottawa.A bunch of comments where people are attracted to the bylaw officer.

"I don't even live in Ottawa and I watched this about 8 times before realizing he was speaking"

"i can't even hear what he's saying he's so beautiful"

"Baby I'll listen to anything you say"

"if I park on the street will you come correct me?"

"What did he say?"
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
CTV News Ottawa @ctvnewsottawa.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
‘Keep Carleton Human’: Carleton University staff rallies to push for protections from A.I.
bit.ly
‘Keep Carleton Human’: Carleton University staff rallies to push for protections from A.I.
At Carleton University, CUPE 4600 -— the union representing Teachers Assistants, Research Assistants, and Contract Instructors — held the ‘Keep Carleton Human’ rally on Thursday, fighting for clear-cut rules on how A.I. should be used going forward, as ongoing contract talks linger with the school.
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Boris Proulx @borisproulx.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
« Mark Carney, à droite » Le compte rendu de @mmsioui.bsky.social et moi : www.ledevoir.com/politique/ca...
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Interesting idea!
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Dang, and just when we NEED an angry orange stain remover
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
The Onion @theonion.com · 21/01/2026
Man Allows All Cookies So Website Won’t Be Mad At Him theonion.com/man-allows-all-cookies…
Man Allows All Cookies So Website Won’t Be Mad At Him
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Is Catcher in the Rye an isekai?
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
"Open to the public" It's your chance to hobnob with the "who?"
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Hey, it's supposed to be -30 on Saturday morning, eh?
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
According to AccuWeather it's like +3 in Nuuk right now, lmao
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
I worry about how my hair looks SO MUCH
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
Whoever runs on this platform for high office would win
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
BRING SWORD'S TO WORK cc: @dasharez0ne.bsky.social
ctvnews.ca
Adapting Hamlet for the stage
A local theatre group is adapting William Shakespeare's Hamlet.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
Bootsuite
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Scare-rino🧛 @marinogreco.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Marshall McLuhan struggling to choose Pokémon Medium or Pokémon Message version
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Ottawa 200 is what they're going with but I'm just saying, ByCentennial is RIGHT THERE. Copyright Ted Raymond 2026 original phrase do not steal
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The Onion @theonion.com · 20/01/2026
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle theonion.com/nation-yearns-for-rela…
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
I want a scouter like in Dragon Ball Z but all we got was those stupid Meta Raybans.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
I don't know why, in The Year of Our Lord 2026, we still allow Donald Trump to just openly lie on live television.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Is anyone calling Ottawa's bicentennial the BYcentennial? Am I the first?
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
They're all-in on the Trump cult. These Canadians have no loyalty to Canada, itself, but to the far-right global fascist project that has Trump at its centre. Or CENTER, as they'd probably spell it, the clowns.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Every fuckin DAY with this guy. Every day.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
ok
A grey cat who is sittin funny
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
The thing about the NEWS is that it tends to focus on the new thing, like say an insane man rambling to another world leader that he will start wars because they hurt his feelings, over a thing that was already covered but isn't new anymore. Erick, son of Erick, knows this, of course.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
lol @ anyone who cares about the sustainability of engagement on any social media platform. Just lmao. This is all ethereal nonsense. We're just shitposting into the void, bro. None of this matters.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
Two exhausted Witness Protection Program workers, one of whom is smoking, look at Homer Simpson, who refuses to understand that his name is being changed to Homer Thompson.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
Canada has approved permanent residency status for the Sri Lankan brother and father of an Ottawa man whose wife and four children were killed in a gruesome mass stabbing.
ctvnews.ca
Family of Ottawa mass murder victims gets permanent residency applications approved
Canada has approved permanent residency status for the Sri Lankan brother and father of an Ottawa man whose wife and four children were killed in a gruesome mass stabbing.
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
The Onion @theonion.com · 19/01/2026
FBI Celebrates With Traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Assassination Day Cake
FBI Celebrates With Traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Assassination Day Cake
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
Daniel Benneworth-Gray @danielgray.com · 19/01/2026
COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS
theguardian.com
Back-scratching bovine leads scientists to reassess intelligence of cows
Brown Swiss in Austria has been discovered using tools in multiple ways – something only ever seen in humans and chimpanzees
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
Mr. Burns from The Simpsons holds a pair of calipers over Smithers’s head, as a bust labelled “phrenology” sits on his desk.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
God Save Local News
ctvnews.ca
Massive crow roost draws attention in Ottawa’s Alta Vista neighbourhood
Residents in Ottawa’s Alta Vista neighbourhood are doing a lot more looking up these days, as tens of thousands of crows fill the winter sky, delighting some residents and frustrating others.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
The mental tug-of-war between "I need a haircut" and "I hate getting my hair cut." Anyway, I got a haircut.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
The side-by-sides of the version uploaded by Global and whatever ends up airing on CBS is going to be interesting. But I will say, it was a fun day online when people were swapping phone-recorded bootlegs of a 60 Minutes segment like rum runners during prohibition.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
If we're all still alive by the time we elect our first Millennial prime minister AND social media still exists, I hope the PM uses their social accounts to vaguepost 2000s emo lyrics in between policy announcements.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Carney's Twitter should just start responding to news stories about Trump's escalation against Greenland with Elon-style posts. !
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Occasionally Spooky Transpo @occtranspo.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
You'll like this. youtu.be/4IRB0sxw-YU?...
youtu.be
Everyone's Upstairs Neighbors
YouTube video by Above Average
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Reposted by Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond
HeyWillson @heywillson.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Or like … 😅😳🤫
media.tenor.com
a group of people are holding hands while dancing on a stage with the nbc logo in the corner
ALT: a group of people are holding hands while dancing on a stage with the nbc logo in the corner
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
What I assume every upstairs neighbour is doing at all hours of the day and night every day forever
media.tenor.com
two men are working on a piece of wood
Alt: two men are hammering a piece of wood on the ground. It's not doing anything but making noise.
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Newsrooms listen to ONE (1) millennial gamer challenge (impossible)
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Ted "Literally the Worst" Raymond @tedraymond.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
We're finally going to be a REAL TOWN
ctvnews.ca
Olive Garden to open in Ottawa this summer
American restaurant chain Olive Garden is set to open in Ottawa this summer. Recipe Unlimited Group Corporation announced plans to open an Olive Garden in Westboro this year.
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