iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 3h

I was going to say 'elitist' but maybe I need to get up-to-date on my slurs.

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 7h

That, and it's one of those songs that gets played and everyone feels compelled to sway together and sing along just like every college's alma mater; no one knows it, but "you're supposed to do this" because "it's tradition" or some bullshit like that It's peer pressure, but in public, so it's OK.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 8h

Watching #Colts vs. #Commanders, and it's yet another reminder that "Sweet Caroline" is among the worst songs always played a sporting event. "Oh, why is that?" Because no one knows more than about 4 lines of the song: the 2 before the chorus, the first 2 of the chorus.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 8h

1. Great reality check after the night before. 2. Great opportunity to learn needed lessons for the future. 3. Great illustration of how this team's defense is more compact with Hofer vs. how this team's defense is *decidedly not* with Binnington.

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 10h

That's what it did all last year, depending on who was in net. When it starts doing that with Hofer in net - and it will, soon enough - Hofer is going to look just as bad. Whether fans notice remains to be seen. Also: something about Colorado being *really, really* good.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 10h

Binnington's game is not, never has been, and never will be, constantly bailing out his team with spectacular save after spectacular save. If that's what you're counting on, you need someone else. That's what the Blues defense expected last night. It broke down in ways it didn't against Dallas.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 10h

Did Binnington have 2 bad goals from trying to handle the puck? Absolutely. Did that lose the game? Absolutely not. The 1st period alone, he had more difficult saves than Hofer had the entire night vs. DAL - and Hofer had a fairly easy night. Give credit: Colorado is *really* good. Again.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 10h

I'm going to sing a lonely tune here, but anyone looking at a stat line and saying "wow, Jordan Binnington sucks as usual, Joel Hofer is clearly better" needs to watch the first ~35 minutes of last night's game vs. COL, then compare that to all 60 minutes of the game vs. DAL. It's night and day.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Watching the #Sabres vs. the #Blackhawks, and I have a suggestion for Buffalo GM Jarmo Kekalainen: Go get Connor Hellebuyck, before mediocre goaltending damages your team's chances at a Cup. Again.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

One thing to note: just because Tennessee tried and failed to execute Christa Pike does not prevent it from trying again. The Supreme Court held in Francis v. Resweber (1947) that a 2nd execution attempt was not unconstitutional. Do not be surprised if (when) Tennessee makes that 2nd attempt.

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Watching the #Sabres vs. the #BlueJackets, and I have a suggestion for Buffalo GM Jarmo Kekalainen: Go get Connor Hellebuyck, before mediocre goaltending damages your team's chances at a Cup. Again.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

He's traveling the country lecturing college students about where they should vote, what led Zeppelin sucks, and other things they erroneously believe to be true as part of his "life lessons for free, reality bites, grow up kids" educational series.

110

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Democrats in Wisconsin are currently running campaigns like either it's already in the bag so they don't have to do anything, it's lost so they're saving money for next time, or they're waiting until a last minute blitz. Crowley is also running the Mandela Barnes '22 playbook, which failed.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

1. The part of me that thinks "corporations should pay 0% in taxes, because consumers ultimately pay it via higher prices" rethinks that when seeing things like this - but then I remember 2. That $4.1 billion "paid" to an individual should really be taxed at a tax rate between 99.9% and 99.99999%.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I can't wait for the moment where, like King George III, he claims to have shaken hands with a tree. Or, like King George III, he begins "speaking for many hours without pause, causing him to foam at the mouth." $2 says when it happens, >90% of Republicans imitate him in total fealty.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I thought this was about collecting adults, and I was going to say "I can't wait, I'd like to get a couple age 65+ to do house chores and someone 18-30 to do yard work - but I'm not sure I'll get the complete set yet."

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

All the people involved in allegedly incorrectly identifying which basketball game Jack Smith attended, as characters from Game of Thrones. By Chris Cillizza

150

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

My man looks like Oscar the Grouch came to life. My man looks like he stuck Silly Putty on his head to make it bigger. My man looks like he's trying to explain his favorite video game from the 1980s. My man looks like he's sporting an octopus for a hairdo. My man looks like a nasal tone.

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Free idea: someone should send mail to Schmitt's office, with * The nicknames of pro and college teams, * The colloquial name of each team's rival, and * Tips on how to talk in public without becoming a larger embarrassment than he already is. Bonus: MO HS nicknames, to help him learn about MO.

090

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Now I see the difference between Artificial Intelligence and Super Intelligence, thank you sir this was incredibly helpful, I agree with you we need lots more Super Intelligence and no more Artificial Intelligence.

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Reminds of the time one of my high school friends, who I still consider a friend, told me that Eric Schmitt would be one of the best senators Missouri has ever had, and "won't be an embarrassment to the state by saying dumb shit like Claire McCaskill did." I should ask if he's changed his mind yet.

011

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I'm sure given information available, the insurance will be quite affordable. Especially given that premiums for this will only be collected for a short amount of time, and there's surely an unlimited number of people willing to invest in a proposition with small gains and nearly unlimited losses.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

NYT tomorrow: I was a lifelong Democrat. Then an Mexican mariachi band played the American national anthem at an NFL game. [This was really good, and reinforces my belief that there should be more mariachi bands.]

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Same thing with defending passes. I don't know how many times I've seen NFL safeties and cornerbacks play pass defense as "let the receiver get past you, go chase after him, be oblivious to everything going on behind you as a result."

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Clarification: ignoring any and all Led Zeppelin songs, which we all know are a default "add all" on your list.

120

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Worst songs that people think are great, and they couldn't be more wrong. I know, this could (should) be a long list, let's just go with the top-3 for now.

230

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

For the love of all that is holy, no. The next thing we'll hear, he's starting up Trump Insurance, specifically targeted at those people who file claims. For which, the company will deny every single one, no matter how much state law says it's illegal.

040

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Diesel is $7 a gallon, I'm hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt with the farm, and the President denied disaster aid for the storm that wiped out crops and my house. But Democrats liked the Super Bowl halftime show, done entirely in Spanish. I have never felt more politically homeless.

030

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Anyone can grow up and make shitloads of money writing stories regardless of how dumb storyline is, as long as they can find the right sucker to back them up.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

1. People: Go. Fucking. Vote. 2. When the time comes, Congress should assign the current SCOTUS to a new court hearing only cases involving the 18th Amendment with no transfer off, and appoint a new SCOTUS with term limits at that level after which they move to a federal judge position elsewhere.

010

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Still not "voting Republicans out of every office across the land," like you said needs to happen - to which I'd include "even cleaning up public bathrooms with toothbrushes and picking up after animals at the local Humane Society" - but it's still progress.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Guy who at first seems quite normal to other than saying "if" every time the word "the" is said ... then every time the person running the panel says "next," puts his fingers in his ears, shrieks loudly, stomps his feet, grabs his chest and slumps over, then comes to as a random Pixar character.

001

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

My company's policy is 10 days from the date you incur the charge. And, everything must be itemized. Anything not itemized? The entire expense report is rejected. Get it corrected, it's 11 days after? Rejected.

020

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I did fly a couple weeks back, and ... if the pilots and flight attendants were furries, they sure didn't look like it on the plane. Didn't even find a litter box in say row 31. Or even row 3 for the first-class folks.

050

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Same mentality that explains "Congress sucks, everyone there should be voted out ... but not my Representative or Senator, they're doing great! They're not problem, it's everyone else!"

0230

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If you are willing to excuse some shitty behavior based on who's doing it, the problem isn't everyone else and you're claims of their stereotypes. The problem is you, because you're being a hypocrite.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

It's the same mentality that infected the U.S. post-9/11: "yes, this is bad if [other country - especially one we think is 'an enemy'] does it, but if we do it that's OK, because ... quit asking, you're just an unpatriotic sonofabitch who needs to get the fuck out of you can't support the flag."

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

More people - *a lot more* - need to understand that "criticism of things the Israeli government does" is not "anti-semitism" the same way criticizing your next door neighbor for beating his wife, kids and dog isn't racism because he happens to be [whatever race you choose that isn't white].

121

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

1. Not "the Jews" fault. One man's fault, who happens to be a Jew. Please learn how to read *and* comprehend correctly. 2. You and anyone else drawing the conclusion you've asserted can go eternally fuck yourselves.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Meta, AI agent and Muse are synonyms of stupid. That's why they're all specifically targeted towards people who are lame.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

"Security" is one thing. "Violating another nation's sovereignty" is something else. The standards shouldn't change when you swap out one country's name and its terrorist aggressor for another, but way too many people are comfortable doing it based on who's our perceived friend and who isn't.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I also don't think if China said "yeah, we're also under threat from Mongolia - we're taking over territory there, for security" people would say "wow, crazy - but, security, China has to protect itself." And if it did eastern Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan the same, ...

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I have a *long* extended thought that neither one of us has time for, but I'll say this: If China had a 10/7 type event from Myanmar, I don't know that the same people defending Israel's actions in Gaza would also say "yeah, China is in the right." It would be different, because ... reasons.

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I can accept this. I'm not as hung up on "is this genocide, is it not" as I will go (figuratively) die on the hill of "war crimes are being committed, *do not* allow October 7 to become a justification for them" and that the statement should hold true even if we're talking about Israel.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Yes, I've seen it. Yes, it's utterly horrific. Yes, I hope *everyone who was responsible* is held to account. What about everyone who was *not* responsible, though? Is it really necessary to inflict the same kind of horrific violence on those people, and in vastly larger numbers?

100

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I have *zero* tolerance for people who knee-jerk to these kinds of shitty statements because "I don't like what you're saying." I have even less tolerance for people who go to mythic lengths to defend the wanton killing, maiming and starvation of others in the name of whatever bullshit they push.

000

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Fair warning: saying shit like this is an immediate block.

A complete dumbass claiming to think they know what I think, when we both know this twit has no idea what I think and will never be able to do so.

101

Ted Hoffman's Actuarials @tedhoffman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Yes, this is absolutely the first time in 10,000+ years of recorded human history this has ever happened. Sincerely, Post-WW2 United States vs. Post-WW2 Germany, Japan and Italy, among many other instances across human history

000