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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 6h

Playoff baseball is different than regular season baseball. Suck it, Yankees. Those stats meant shit tonight.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 6h

[As every Yankees fan tonight finally settles down in anger and is just on the verge of falling asleep] Me: [a silent ghost, leaning in and whispering in his or her ear] Jeffrey Maier, bitch.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 6h

Stunt on those hoes, the Tampa Bay Orioles.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 6h

Fuck—and I emphatically enunciate this with the fire of a thousand suns and the schadenfreude of a hundred Germans—the Yankees.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Also, true story: about a month after I pushed that out on Twitter (originally), I got a text from a reporter at the Banner. She wanted the video, she couldn’t find it. I was so excited. “Are you doing a story about it??” “No, a bunch of us at the newsroom love it and couldn’t find it.”

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I hate the chop. I’m using the word “hate” here. Uncle Bill should have burned it all.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

And that makes me not watch these playoffs with the thought, “That’s gonna be us next year.”

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I keep trying to get into playoff baseball and I just can’t get jazzed. I like baseball. I like *good* baseball. But I think that Palmer/Albernaz thing just makes me throw my hands up. Nothing will change with this Orioles organization this off season that will matter *at all.*

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I always say this when a new season starts. We all do. But the coming Fall and the time of pumpkins and ghosts and things that creak in the night may truly be my favorite. The time of sweaters put away to come out. The time of soups. The slowing down time. The time for pause. Football and the Dead.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

One of the good things about being a night owl is that on nights like tonight you can stand on the edge of the park near your house and feel cool Autumn weather and hear the wind as it rustles browning leaves and feel like it’s really Spooky Season. That something wicked this way comes.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The guy in charge of Tennessee executions, apparently. The death penalty should be abolished.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Clams casino. Microwaved first. No beverage to wash it down.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Like…*how* do you even come up with these telling facts? I ask this with reverance and awe.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I, too, had an issue with BobsonDugnutt345679

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

“Gary Oldman in the performance of a lifetime” was…how to put this? *Accurate.* But not as the trailer meant.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

ITS SUPER INTELLIGENCE NOW OR DONT YOU READ SUPER INTELIGENT EXECUTIVE ORDERS??

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

And I love that Jackson Lamb (farting, gross, Gary Oldman) has met his match in a sarcastic, farting, dwarf child this season. Oldman played a dwarf, you know. Tiptoes is the film. Wildly misguided film. Anyway.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Easily my favorite season of Slow Horses yet. So much fun and with a simple, straightforward mystery. This season has a really well-balanced use of all the ensemble players. Oh, and unrelatedly, Rosalind Eleazar from Slow Horses is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Misty Green. Bank it.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The sliver is the part that reads “I don’t fail, I can only be failed.”

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The only difference, except, you know, scale, is that one thinks he’s doing the best thing for a team without thinking maybe it’s on him, and the other one is doing what’s best for him and only him. It’s not exactly a segmented Venn diagram, by the way. There’s a sliver of overlap.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

It will either be a pre-midterm address about how we are winding down the war, we are winning, we have the best economy ever (look at the stock market, forget about the rest), and you should vote GOP. Or he will go dark and talk about the need for federal agents at polling places because of etc.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If only wishing made it so. I, myself, have never ever rooted so hard for arteriosclerosis. No. He doubles down. And then he doubles down again. Unless pushed back with slight force. But there’s not a lot of pushing. I have no idea what he will say tomorrow. Don’t remember what he said last time

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I just realized I turned this from Trump to Mike Elias, but i know you are an Orioles fan (as is Ashley), and honestly the transition flowed effortlessly because i hold each in roughly, but differently, the same esteem.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

You *think* Mike Elias is the I-know-better Moranis, but Elias is never going to learn and sing The Carpenters to you in your classroom in redemption. He’s beyond change. He’s Larry, selling your car to bookies. He’s Gil’s boss, David. He’s Clint Howard yelling at you for putting in Kevin.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Mike Elias is the general manager on his treadmill telling you, Gil, the fan saying we need better pitching, that Phil Richards, the guy pumping prospects, is putting in the hours and wowing clients (him), that he gets the promotion while you sit there and absolutely steam in disbelief.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

What I’m surprised by most is that your friend group is 17? 18? Just judging by your photos you’ve posted.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Horror films kind of let real weirdos make films based on their own sense of what’s horror, be it haunted puppets or sorority slasher pics or whatever. Lot of latitude. I love it. Lots of play room. Plenty of space for activities.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

And I kind of thank him for it? Depends on if you like weird possessed puppet/doll films. I do. They’re utterly stupidly enjoyable, and you spend half your time not horrified, but going, “Eh, pretty good puppetry for what I’m guessing is this budget.” But yeah. Guy had a kink. A yen. That’s okay.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

IT IS RIDICULOUS AND I DO NOT CARE ABOUT EITHER TEAM. Prosecutor: [After Judge changes juries in The Untouchables] *What* did you say to him? Ness: I told him his name was in the ledger. Every goddamned NFL ref:

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I am going to miss your more frequent analysis in the off season. You make me love baseball more. I don’t know if I have a higher compliment to pay you.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That was a bullshit call in this Broncos/Rams game. Pass interference calls are getting absolutely out of control. That was an interception. No one on the teevee can explain how that was pass interference. Reffing had gotten worse. Tilted. Oh, hey! Unrelatedly, you can bet legally on games.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I spent an hour once explaining to my son why there were 2 films titled Halloween, 2 titled Halloween 2, and why there are three different Halloween film timelines. Maybe four. And then we discussed the Japanese film U.S. remakes. Which was another decade.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Horror films may be most subject to these kinds of waves. Haunted dolls for a while. Back to the haunted house. A half decade of exorcism films. A decade plus of a couple who are possession experts. Shaky cam found footage.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

There are times I’ll drop a reference that I know is on point but will only be understood by one, maybe two people. Thank you for recognizing it and taking the time to say so. Trump is going to leave the world stage leaving us paying off his debt and taking care of his son, named Cool.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That’s the true reaction, right? The one we’ve settled into? “Oh fucking Christ Donald what now?” Like he’s Tom Hulce in Parenthood and we are all Jason Robards walking into the garage and suddenly wondering where our classic car went, but we know. We *know*. And yet here he comes, excuses out.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“Everything in the ballroom will be eatible, I mean edible. I mean, you can eat everything. The raspberries taste like raspberries! The snozberries taste like snozberries!”

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I fundamentally trust Heather and she makes a great point about the Tampa Bay Orioles. We disagree about the need for a lockout. I can deeply respect someone and think they are wrong. And I deeply respect her.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“Justin Tucker? The chicken store guy?”

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

In this tribute to Dolly with video of her singing “I Will Always Love You,” why didn’t they have Whitney sing this oh wait I see.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Matches your profile pic. 🤣🤣

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

We cannot have level baseball when rich teams are able to defer 1/3rd billion dollar or half billion dollar deals for 30 years or whatever. It’s insanity. It has to stop. The Dodgers winning makes the pressure to do so more obvious. I am willing to burn this village to save it.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Birdland: Now that the Orioles are out, who ya got for the playoffs? Who are you rooting for. Don’t say, “good baseball,” gimme a team or teams. For me, Cleveland or the White Sox in the AL. And for the good of the game, Los Angeles to win it all. Here me out: A lockout is needed. Caps needed.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Do NOT give Loop a RoFo advertising deal. Bad juju.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I love all of this. O line is a hot mess, but I love all of this.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Dallas fan at the local: “1:30 left, lotta time! Let’s go big D!” Minutes later, as he’s cheering: Me: “seven seconds left. Lot of time for Lamarr.” Him: “Yeah, right!” A minute later he put cash on the bar to cheers around him and slunk out. Huge win. Huge. Massive.

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