Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 14/10/2026No Amount Of Training Could Have Prepared Cat For First Experience Seeing Mouse In Real Life theonion.com/no-amount-of-training-… 132068187
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 07/10/2026DNC Releases Preemptive Autopsy Into Why They Lost Midterms 421401179
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 06/10/2026DNC Releases Preemptive Autopsy Into Why They Lost Midterms theonion.com/dnc-releases-preemptiv… 782542331
Reposted by Sweet N LowOregon Zoo @oregonzoo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Why did the endangered turtle cross the road? It didn't! That would be very dangerous! Defend the Roadless Rule: Make your voice heard before the public comment deadline on Oct. 6. www.oregonzoo.org/news/protect... 330164
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 30/09/2026Study Finds Deer Only Mammal Besides Humans That Totally Suck theonion.com/study-finds-deer-only-… 441528230
Sweet N Low @sweetnl0w.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Resident Evil worked. It was a great dissection of video games. It tells a complete story and stays on the theme throughout. No surprise the director of Weapons made another banger 001
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026“I remember seeing him on TV and thinking, ‘No, that can’t be Kash,’ but sure enough, there he was, addressing the nation about a missing person case.” — Daisy, local golden retriever theonion.comDog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBIWASHINGTON—Reflecting on the past fling and remarking how time had flown by, local golden retriever Daisy told reporters Thursday that she could not believe the guy she hooked up with 10 years ago was... 282467369
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 21/09/2026Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer theonion.com/steak-n-shake-employee… 171249169
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 19/09/2026God Horrified To Find Humans Eating Sacred, Omniscient Potatoes theonion.comGod Horrified To Find Humans Eating Sacred, Omniscient PotatoesTHE HEAVENS—Shaking His head in disbelief as the color drained from His face, God, Our Heavenly Father, was reportedly horrified Monday to learn that humans had been consuming the sacred, omniscient p... 231148103
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026“I do hope you’ve been enjoying those steaks and that they’ve been prepared to your satisfaction—but now comes the delightful surprise.” — Emile Berniertheonion.comHorrified Guests Begin Gagging As Dinner Host Reveals They’ve Been Eating USDA BeefRICHMOND, VA—Feeling the half-chewed contents of their stomachs roil as they retched into their napkins, guests at a local dinner party began gagging Tuesday as their host revealed that they had been ... 14109291
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 07/09/2026Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face 91036164
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026Amazon MGM Narrows List Of James Bond Candidates To 6 Actors, 1 Extremely Suave Ferret theonion.com/amazon-mgm-narrows-lis… 411964370
Reposted by Sweet N LowJamie Dupree @jamiedupree.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Next week on the House floor - nothing about affordability, grocery prices, or gas prices. But there will be a vote on a GOP resolution condemning Democratic Socialists and socialism in general (H. Res. 1490). The House already passed a resolution condemning socialism on Nov. 21, 2025. 51911
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 27/08/2026Fed-Up Rockstar Cancels ‘GTA VI’ theonion.com/fed-up-rockstar-cancel… 321598303
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 23/08/2026Democratic Socialism: Myth Vs. Fact theonion.com/democratic-socialism-m… 171643217
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 22/08/2026“If you go back and look at his presidential portrait, he’s always had two dots as eyes and a big Sharpie smile right on his cantaloupe head” — Capt. Sean Barbabella theonion.comWhite House Doctor Claims President Has Always Been Face Drawn Onto CantaloupeWASHINGTON—Dismissing public concern about the president’s health as baseless speculation, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, announced at a press conference Friday t... 201322134
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 21/08/2026Taco Bell Unveils New Taco With Shell Made From Doritos Bags 401326132
Reposted by Sweet N LowJenna Stoeber @thejenna.bsky.social · 20/08/2026FromSoftware: FINE, we'll make a female character that's not design around being fuckable, but we'll have to use our excess jiggle physics budget to give the frog tits 5581
Reposted by Sweet N LowJenna Stoeber @thejenna.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Awe she just learned how to invade, it's over you fools 1902
Reposted by Sweet N LowOregon Zoo @oregonzoo.bsky.social · 12/08/2026From caring for orphaned calves to creating wildlife corridors in Borneo, we’re proud to partner with organizations that are making a difference for Asian elephants around the world. Happy World Elephant Day! #AsianElephantAwarenessMonth 232977
Sweet N Low @sweetnl0w.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Watched the Odyssey again. Even on the smaller screen it looks amazing. 000
Sweet N Low @sweetnl0w.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Spiderman didn't feel brand new. Lots of CGI in random shots that was just bad. All three acts were carried by the cameo actors. So at least the crossovers will continue. It was enjoyable despite being another marvel movie however. 000
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 07/08/2026Antichrist Rolls Eyes Throughout Peter Thiel Lecture theonion.com/antichrist-rolls-eyes-… 202328359
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 02/08/2026Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race 415101538
Reposted by Sweet N LowOregon Zoo @oregonzoo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026We have great newts to share! Twenty tiny Mazama newts have hatched in our lab — the very first babies of their kind ever in human care. 211212214
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 28/07/2026Help keep quality journalism limping along. store.theonion.com/products/kitten-… 860751
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2026“Despite our security team’s best efforts, a loincloth-wearing invader with the handle TwinkPunisher was able to gain access to the shoot through the use of a Festering Bloody Finger, disrupting production for the foreseeable future,” said a spokesperson for the studiotheonion.comA24’s ‘Elden Ring’ Film Stalled After Red Phantom Named TwinkPunisher Invades SetBLÁSKÓGABYGGÐ, ICELAND—Expressing regret that the interruption would delay the highly anticipated video game adaptation, the producers of A24’s upcoming Elden Ring film announced Tuesday that the proj... 191532334
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 20/07/2026Trump Insists Frequent Naps Necessary To Protect U.S. Interests In Dreamland theonion.com/trump-insists-frequent… 422397315
Reposted by Sweet N LowNPR @npr.org · 18/07/2026Dr. Zeke Emanuel, a renowned U.S. health policy physician, takes on the wellness industry with a back-to-basics approach to optimizing good health.n.prEat your ice cream for a long, healthy life? This doctor says soDr. Zeke Emanuel, a renowned U.S. health policy physician, takes on the wellness industry with a back-to-basics approach to optimizing good health. 916631
Reposted by Sweet N LowNPR @npr.org · 13/07/2026Dr. Zeke Emanuel, a renowned U.S. health policy physician, takes on the wellness industry with a back-to-basics approach to optimizing good health. n.pr/4vnoVPFn.prEat your ice cream for a long, healthy life? This doctor says soDr. Zeke Emanuel, a renowned U.S. health policy physician, takes on the wellness industry with a back-to-basics approach to optimizing good health. 1021544
Reposted by Sweet N LowForbes @forbes.com · 09/07/2026Smelling dark chocolate was found to be the most helpful in boosting weightlifting performance and helping curb appetite. forbes.comSniffing Chocolate Before A Workout Could Add 18 Extra Reps, Study SuggestsSmelling dark chocolate was found to be the most helpful in boosting weightlifting performance and helping curb appetite. 3925154
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 07/07/2026What To Know About ‘Elle’ theonion.com/what-to-know-about-elle 877746
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 05/07/2026Scientists Teach Father To Communicate Emotions Using Rudimentary Hand Gestures 161145136
Reposted by Sweet N LowJohn Scalzi @scalzi.com · 03/07/2026Well, shit www.dispatch.com/story/news/2...dispatch.comNumber of cases of parasite infection causing diarrhea explode in OhioCases of cyclosporiasis have exploded in Ohio as part of a national outbreak. See the latest numbers from the Ohio Department of Health 9064282
Reposted by Sweet N LowInfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Fill your garage with Hogwater. 1224528672
Sweet N Low @sweetnl0w.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Supergirl is a James production. Good music nice side characters. Too much CGI. Even the dog looked out of mesh in a few scenes. The movie plot was pretty safe, so I doubt I remember it in a few months. 010
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 26/06/2026“This game glamorizes life in Florida to such an outrageous extent that it’s easy to see how young minds could be fooled into thinking that relocating to the Sunshine State wouldn’t be the worst decision they ever made,” said activist Marcie Escobedo theonion.comCritics Warn ‘GTA VI’ Could Inspire Impressionable Teens To Live In FloridaWASHINGTON—In an effort to alert parents to the potentially dangerous consequences of playing the highly anticipated game, critics warned Thursday that Grand Theft Auto VI could inspire impressionable... 302445597
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 25/06/2026“Holy shit, what the fuck am I doing?” said the 55-year-old Knoxville, who was seen in the footage shrugging at the camera before taking a few shaky steps and then losing his balance as the rest of the cast laughed hysterically in the background. theonion.comNew ‘Jackass' Trailer Shows Aging Johnny Knoxville Trying To Climb Staircase Without HandrailLOS ANGELES—Enticing fans with the promise of the franchise’s most dangerous stunt yet, a new trailer for Jackass: Best And Last released Wednesday showed an aging Johnny Knoxville trying to climb a s... 251821173
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 23/06/2026Ticks: Myth Vs. Fact theonion.com/ticks-myth-vs-fact 1170557
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 13/06/2026Mom Casually Mentions Her Bunco Group Threw Molotov Cocktails At ICE Last Week theonion.comMom Casually Mentions Her Bunco Group Threw Molotov Cocktails At ICE Last WeekMINNEAPOLIS—Nonchalantly bringing up the act of violent resistance while discussing a fun evening she had with her friends, local mom Rebecca Peters casually mentioned Wednesday to her son Miles that ... 171423155
Sweet N Low @sweetnl0w.bsky.social · 13/06/2026Watched disclosure day. It's good. Its message was simple and straight forward. Which is why I expect you need to be a certain age to enjoy it. 000
Reposted by Sweet N LowAl Yankovic @alyankovic.bsky.social · 12/06/2026Batman/Superman/Weird Al: World’s Weirdest #1 arrives Sept. 2. 532199440
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 10/06/2026Mom Casually Mentions Her Bunco Group Threw Molotov Cocktails At ICE Last Week theonion.com/mom-casually-mentions-… 515635727
Sweet N Low @sweetnl0w.bsky.social · 07/06/2026Masters of the Universe is good. Not great though. It's tone balances back an forth between comedy and drama. Oh well, something something Saturday cartoons. 100
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 06/06/2026Woman Adopts Second Cat For First One To Terrorize While She At Work theonion.com/woman-adopts-second-ca… 182188233
Reposted by Sweet N LowThe Onion @theonion.com · 06/06/2026“Yes, that was indeed the King of Gods that observant viewers spotted on the battlefield in the latest trailer,” said Christopher Nolan theonion.comZeus Lands Cameo Role As Trojan Soldier In ‘The Odyssey’LOS ANGELES—Sending fans of Greek mythology into a frenzy on social media, The Odyssey director Christopher Nolan confirmed Friday that god of sky and thunder Zeus had landed a cameo role in the film ... 1870248
