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James Sutherland

@sutherland.pw
348 followers 262 following 1.1K posts

Researcher (medical imaging now, previously computer security and forensics). 🇬🇧 in 🇺🇸, divorced father of a two year old. DMs and followers welcome if fully dressed.

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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 18/09/2025
@amandaknox.com I wonder if they have your books in the DS9 library...
Captain Pike, Captain Picard and Chief O'Brian - both captains recalling their positive experiences with condensed time memories, O'Brian.... not.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 11/08/2025
Banner: Spelling Bee
Caption: “I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. Release the bees.”
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 01/06/2025
Want to outwit Skynet? A spelling test should suffice:
Facebook AI claiming that "one thousand" does not contain the letter N. Oops.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 04/05/2025
Towel rail.
Homer Simpson weighing himself. Weight lower than expected, because his belly is resting on the towel rail.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 04/05/2025
I had a "99" (vanilla soft serve cone with a Cadbury's Flake in) last month, first time in ages - I've missed that.
Jared Pechacek
@vandroidhelsing
*deep breath* VANILLA IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPLEX FLAVORS KNOWN TO MAN AND IT'S ONLY OVERUSE THAT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE THE BORING, SAFE CHOICE THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED SCREAM
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 04/05/2025
May the 4th be with you.
@BabyYodaFanz
Before you go to bed on May 3, don't forget to put out choccy milk and chickie nuggies so Baby Yoda will visit on May the Fourth

(picture of Baby Yoda here there is)
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 03/05/2025
Even Duolingo is working on escape plans from the rogue nation between Canada and Mexico now:
Duolingo message: Canadian English isn't just American but nicer (Canadian flag) It's a unique dialect!
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 30/04/2025
Can confirm Occam's Cat first hand. Also a fan of Murphy's Razor.
Gun, Cat, Razor, Law:

Checkov's:
If a gun is introduced in the first act, it must be fired by the third.
If a box is introduced in the first act, a cat must sit in it by the third
The simplest way to fire a gun is to pull the trigger
Every gun in a play will be fired

Schrodinger's:
You can't know if a gun is loaded, or not, until the trigger is pulled
An unopened box may contain a dead cat, or an alive one, and you won't know until you open it
An unopened box may contain the solution to your problems
You can't know that things will go wrong, until they do

Occam's:
The simplest way to kill off a character is to shoot them
If you hear a strange noise at night, it's probably a cat
The simplest explanation is probably the correct one
Everything that can be explained, will be explained

Murphy's:
Any gun that can go off, will go off
Any box that can contain a cat, will contain a cat
Anything that can be simple, will be simple
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 27/04/2025
The Measure of a Man?
Imperial Stormtrooper: 5'11"
Metric Stormtrooper: 180cm
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 23/04/2025
Shared elsewhere by a friend.
The Rise of a Woman
I wish I could see all the versions of myself that I once was, lined up against the wall. I would walk over to every single one of them and thank them for not giving up when I knew they wanted to.
-your weakness is your strength
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 21/04/2025
Happy Easter to all, especially those "fighting and scheming" to give *suspected* murderers etc the due process everyone should get before being shipped to Donald's overseas gulag. "Worst and most incompetent President"? That would be the incumbent. Even the autopen could do better...
Donald J. Trump & @realDonaldTrump
Happy Easter to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting and scheming so hard to bring Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, the Mentally Insane, and well known MS-13 Gang Members and Wife Beaters, back into our Country.
Happy Easter also to the WEAK and INEFFECTIVE Judges and Law Enforcement Officials who are allowing this sinister attack on our Nation to continue, an attack so violent that it will never be forgotten! Sleepy Joe Biden purposefully allowed Millions of CRIMINALS to enter our Country, totally unvetted and unchecked, through an Open Borders Policy that will go down in history as the single most calamitous act ever perpetrated upon America. He was, by far, our WORST and most Incompetent President, a man who had absolutely no idea what he was doing -- But to him, and to the person that ran and manipulated the Auto Pen (perhaps our REAL President!), and to all of the people who CHEATED in the 2020 Presidential Election in order to get this highly destructive Moron Elected, I wish you, with great love, sincerity, and affection, a very Happy Easter!!!
1.16k ReTruths 5.29k Likes
Apr 20, 2025 at 7:46 AM
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 19/04/2025
Caturday throwback picture
Black cat relaxing in the bathroom sink
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 18/04/2025
Trump's tariffs proving very effective, pushing shoppers to avoid imported goods... In America's biggest export market. Genius.
Sign in Canada helping people avoid goods impacted by Trump's tariff tinkering
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 17/04/2025
Back in Toronto for a few days - it's been too long! It is a lovely country.
CANADA
SOME SAY WERE EVERYONE'S FAVORITE COUNTRY. WE PREFER FAVOURITE.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 15/04/2025
I think I just found my next teapot!
A TARDIS style teapot being filled, captioned "I've been pouring in this damn thing for 45 minutes"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 14/04/2025
@amandaknox.com funny hotel gift in Dublin I thought you’d like - poetry reading every evening, with a printed copy to keep!
Words to the poem “Lament for Thomas Mac Donagh” by Francis Ledwidge
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 13/04/2025
Resqueak with your favourite Bond (wrong answers only)
Blond: James BlondBlunt. James Blunt.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 12/04/2025
The Kindle one is looking better at least, and I've flagged the hardback as miscagegorised, hopefully that gets fixed now. Some of us always knew the tabloids were full of it even before Piers Morgan getting fired for making stuff up!
Kindle rankings for FREE: 10th Personal Transformation eBooks, 11th Motivational Self-help, 15th Biographies & Memoirs of Women.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 11/04/2025
Dessert island creatures.
"Triceramisù"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 10/04/2025
Apparently you can buy almost anything on Amazon now. Even stuff you really, really don't want.
Search results showing Amazon offering "low priced trauma bond"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 01/04/2025
New product launch: single malt water. 0 alcohol, 0 calories. Small batch, expected to sell out by noon today (April 1st). Tasting notes: Refreshing nothingness, combined with a cool but intense blandness A long, refreshing finish with absolutely no spice, smoke, sweetness or any flavour
Product image: Holy Burn 0 alcohol 0 calorie "single malt water".
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 31/03/2025
Person in silhouette, captioned “Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another
person or event to control your emotions.”
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 30/03/2025
Well deserved! I wasn't expecting this extent of tie-in merch though:
Ad image - Buffalo Wild Wings "month of Free"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 28/03/2025
Thanks - luggage arrived after an hour, now making up for missed time with family. Apparently the airport staff feel the same way about LH baggage handling!
Rubbish bin, wrapped in Lufthansa “checked baggage” tape
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 26/03/2025
The food wars can always escalate further if you work hard enough.
Instagram post from @scenic_depictions: Homer Simpson bathing, labeled "Italians finally accepting the fact that some people like pineapple on their pizza", about to be hit with a chair by Bart, labelled "pasta with strawberries - Polish people"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 23/03/2025
Still upholding their fine tradition of journalistic accuracy I see. Maybe they should borrow a toddler to help them count to 3, too...
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 19/03/2025
My preorder from IKEA arrived already! Just needs a little assembly...
"Book from IKEA" above a set of Scrabble letters
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 18/03/2025
Interesting background to T2’s choice of a cop as bad guy:
Article excerpt about T2’s choice of a cop as the villain, saying it was deliberate because the real message is not about machines, but about humans losing touch with humanity and becoming “killing machines” - as cops sometimes do now.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 13/03/2025
AI marketing genius at Amazon: since I already preordered this book months ago... maybe they hope I forgot and will order another copy? They think I want to start a collection...?
Amazon "coming soon": Free, by Amanda Knox. Which I already preordered *from them* months ago.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 12/03/2025
It's important to obey all official signs.
Street sign: properly dispose of dog waste - place it in the nearest Cybertruck
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 09/03/2025
Skeletor, holding a glass of red liquid and a TV remote, captioned: MASTERING BEING DETACHED FROM EVERYTHING YET BEING CONNECTED TO EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME...
THIS IS THE SECRET TO LIFE.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 25/02/2025
A calzone is just an Italian quesadilla
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 23/02/2025
Then of course The Onion have ideas of their own which could bring it a whole new... Something.
The Onion parody headline announcing Wallace Shawn as the next James Bond
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 20/02/2025
Milkshake options are getting really weird these days.
Push notification announcing "try our new Chili Mac and Banana Pudding Shake today and earn 2x coins"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 20/02/2025
Chief O'Brien in Starfleet uniform, captioned "inside you there are two wolves. Sorry about the transporter malfunction."
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 12/02/2025
The very end of the road less travelled
Snow, more snow, and possibly some traces of road.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 12/02/2025
NOW I finally find it - the other Superb Owl I meant to share at the weekend. Bah.
Truly Superb Owl: Banff the Eagle Owl swooping in to catch something tasty.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 09/02/2025
For purists: actual superb owls.
Another superb owl, resting.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 26/01/2025
A tasty theory, but the sauce is a little thin and watery for me.
Earth is a dense molten core encased in a layer of solids and therefore technically a ravioli
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 26/01/2025
They're locking up the pre-shredded cheese: "make America grate again"?
Stalin, captioned "dark humor is like food: not everyone gets it"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 23/01/2025
i.pinimg.com/originals/34...
"I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, "Do you have a criminal record?"
I said, "No. Is that still required?"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 21/01/2025
The whole felidae family make fantastic apex predators. Even the tiny cuddly ones.
Cat: "grumpy because I'm the perfect killing machine, but only weigh a few pounds and can easily be picked up and cuddled"
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 21/01/2025
Oh I love those "no matching parts left in the cat factory" chimeras! Friendly just moved himself in to my mother's house a few years ago, along with his friend Stripey Jr who died last November. (Stripey SR died on election day 2016!)
Stripey Jr, the striped cat
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 21/01/2025
Friendly, the large black cat, sitting on a windowsill
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 20/01/2025
It's pretty addictive isn't it? I was doing Dutch until a week ago (started because my Ukrainian Spanish classmate lived in the Netherlands, and I chickened out of Cyrillic!) - trying Italian now. My niece is doing Ukrainian now, for similar reasons without the move to NL.
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 19/01/2025
Quinn on the USS Voyager, captioned in German for unknown reasons
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 16/01/2025
The war has escalated!
A pizza, with slices of kiwi fruit. Caption: pineapple and non-pineapple eaters, we have a common enemy now
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 05/01/2025
"Amanda Knox did absolutely nothing wrong, and got four years in prison for it" is a really tough pill to swallow, because of the implications. "You mean, it really could happen to me too?" "So... there are actually innocent people in jail right now?" Easier to pretend everyone in jail did it...
Cartoon: People opting for comforting lies rather than unpleasant truths, titled "people don't really want the truth, they just want constant reassurance that what they believe is the truth".
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 31/12/2024
Quote repost with just eyes:
Eyes! (Blue, two of.)
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James Sutherland @sutherland.pw · 26/12/2024
Secret US plan: hope that if enough Chinese intruders attack at once, they all jam each other?
Simpsons frame grab: multiple germs all jammed in a doorway at once
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