iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

blenderman is the guy that ruined my lesbian career because that's where he goes for doing that to me /r

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

beyond grateful for being able to come there even on my days off saying hey i'm here to eat some ramen and salami and it's all fine

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

i might be forbidden from eating at home but it's ok because my job and blenderman kindly feed me

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

the coffee shops chain i started working at is actually quite fun AND seems to be incredibly nice towards their employees AND i get to eat there. i feel like i won a lottery

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

WAY TOO MUCH IS GOINGGG OOOONNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAUUGHUHUHUHUUUUUU anyways some sketches from a week or ??two???? three? ago? i only have the time to focus on my barista training and ace attorney i never had this much happening eve.r i am utterly lost in time

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

i would rather risk everything i have left, push myself beyond exhaustion and face my worst fears just to give myself the smallest chance to be free, happy, heal and recover, than allow myself to keep rotting and vanish at the hands of my family. i'm not done yet. i know i'm so much more than this

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

i know it's probably supposed to be concerning, but i personally find it really funny how i had a whole plan set in place and doing last preparations before suddenly deciding to go in an entirely different and frightening direction for myself. guess we doin circles now ahh brain

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

tw suicide, self-harm nine inch nails sketches that i like from an episode i had in july

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Reposted by orin 🌼🌱

Car @garn47.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

just realized i can actually post this here because its short enough

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

gen losing my shit .the single thing keeping me sane is mindlessly clicking away at pokémon on pokéfarm

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

can i maybe please be hired already i'm going crazy

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

THANK YIU SO MUCH GDFHJSH i'm too lazy to set up my tablet these days so i just scribble scribble with what i got

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

thank you so very much!!!!!! 🥹💚💚💚 thank you for all your support and enjoying my work no matter what it is, it makes me so happy and i'm beyond grateful <3 💚

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

thank you so so much 🥹🥹💚💚💚💚💚💚

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

that whole year truly was the quiet before the storm. stay tuned because i know it's going to be chaotic, horrifying and epic as i'm figuring stuff out and doing everything needed to move out all by myself

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

going through a horrid episode just to immediately set on risking to completely change my life in true orin fashion

uh.... i need a job that i can actually handle and pays enough, rent some cheap apartment and move out. even if that means i'll be the brokest person around and barely eating. i don't care, i need to do something. god i don't know if i can do this alone, but i can try. i'm so scared

i desperately need something to radically change because this really isn't helping me recover in the slightest. i need to escape this place, to leave and never see my family ever again, to break free from my mother, but i can't do that. it will take too long. and worst of all, i can barely work now

everything seems fine to outsiders, it seems fine to her, while i am being actively gaslighted and forced into silence. a happy child living with their happy mother, so loved, so carefree. and if i dare break this fantasy, it'll go back to how it always was

i don't think i realized before how this year long silence, "peace", isn't the end of abuse but an extension of it. it's all my mother's illusion that makes her feel like everything was always fine, that she never did anything wrong. nothing ever happened

i can't live, but i don't want to die, i just want peace and care. but i can't get that because i have no one to help me. i'm in hell!

i have nowhere to go, i have no one to ask for help, i don't know what to do. i can't live this way anymore, i'm getting more and more dysfunctional without mental help or support, and being dysfunctional means my mother starting to abuse me like she did before. but i can't do anything to stop it

i can't even get the urgent help i need to survive because she still doesn't believe i need it, she forced me out of my psych meds recently for that exact reason. she'll put me through hell just for making her feel an ounce of guilt, and barely insinuating that i need help will do just that

i love (/s) being a victim of emotional incest to my extremely abusive and overly controlling mother. i love having cameras in our apartment, constantly in her sight whether i'm at home or not. i love having 0 autonomy and ability to make a single choice of mine myself

"what have i ever done wrong to you" is exactly why i'm unable to get even voluntarily hospitalized right now. i need it badly, i'm so scared and close to becoming a danger to myself but i can't do anything because it has to come through her. and i just can't deal with this right now

had the sudden fortune of reconnecting with a great irl friend recently and of course once i get to audibly laugh and smile with someone again, my mother is, again, "jealous" and mad at me to the point of lashing out. i am in genuine despair and on the brink as it is

it's even sort of funny because if i do hit my final limit and die after all, i don't want any of my "family" to hold a funeral for me. if i fail, i don't want any of them to see me. and both are impossible. i really have no power in my life, neither alive nor dead. i'm not a person and never was

some mouse sketches from the last few weeks

i can't do this while living with my abuser who i can't escape, i can't do this without help, i can't do this on my own. it's just sad, like everything else in my cruel joke of a life

i hate that i want to live because it's disheartening in such an agonizing way. there's no way for me to get out of this, no matter how i wish or try to. i can try to be optimistic, i can try healing, but eventually i am always hit with reality -

i'm an adult and no one is coming to help me, i have to do everything entirely on my own and if i can't, then, well. that sure sucks! how unfortunate that you never had the fortune to find a single person near you who would truly care about you, and build that relationship while you still could

i was ruined to the point of being unable to hold anything without falling apart. just few months ago i had some power in me to at least try have some friendships, and even that is taken away from me. i need to be gently guided in everything until i can move on my own, but that's not happening

i can barely do anything in my state, and to recover i need something, someone by my side, which i never had to begin with. having relationships is stressful, working is stressful, living with my mother is stressful, everything around me is stressful and no one is going to babysit me

and not a single time someone even sympathized with me, no matter how openly i begged them because i didn't want to die. there's literally no one on my side, no one to rely on, and now that all my resources are dissipated yet i need to go on like a healthy adult, i am at loss for what to even do

and to be fully aware of the impossibility of it. i can't do this alone anymore, i have been through living hell and that's where all my energy went, yet i have no one to even ask for help. years, years ago i begged my father, my sister, grandmother, anyone at all to save me, time and time again

coping with stress, moving forward, getting education, having a job, talking with people. how can i possibly do that? even worse, how can i possibly do that alone? it hurts more than anything ever did, to finally realize how desperately i need help right now, at least a bit of support, care

that ever happened. and things have been happening always, endlessly, from all possible sides. hopefully, i am past the major parts of it, for over a year now at least. yet things are still happening, while i am not over a single event i ever went through. i'm expected to be an adult human being,

ever since i had to quit my job, my mother's been getting progressively more aggressive with making me feel like a carefree parasite. it's really weird to live with someone who psychologically tortured you daily for two decades, just for them to suddenly be "normal" and not acknowledge anything

orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

tw flashing lights, abuse, suicide, self-harm a little something i made in attempts to externalize the weird headspace i've been stuck in lately. really like how it came out emotionally

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when you do something extremely embarassing just imagine the exact same thing happening to your favorite character

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

forensic psychology... wait for me. i'll be there in auh decade maybe

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orin 🌼🌱 @sunfloww6r.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

like it's so beautiful that i have the ability to actually discover who i am and how the world works and feel and explore it all to the fullest are you kidding me it's like i am having a field day every day