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Sublight Monster

@sublightmonster.bsky.social
455 followers 1K following 2.3K posts

Former paid liar. Advisor/ghostwriter to Japan PMs Abe, Suga and Kishida, speechwriter for Tokyo Gov. Koike. Now movie star. Still deciding whether I’m retired or just a bum. Born🇺🇸, living🇯🇵, speaking🇫🇷🇲🇽🇸🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿. Have the same name pretty much everywhere. He/him

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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
An ice hockey player, wearing a helmet, sliding feet-first.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
“At night, behind the door, I think I hear one more…”
Crack Master from a Sesame Street short that terrified me in the 1970s, then disappeared for about 30-40 years.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Got this one!
The outside gate of Toei movie/tv studios. Sign reads in Japanese 東映東京撮影所 (Toei Tokyo Shooting Location)
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
I married a Pirate
Me, a Pirate (aka Asada Yoshimi, former member of the comedy group Pirates), and some random dude
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
All around my neighborhood
Recent poster for the JCP, featuring current party chair Tomoko Tamura.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Andrei, are you telling me you lost *another* Russian asset in the senate?
Ending scene of Hunt for Red October where the Russian Ambassador tells the president another submarine has gone missing
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
It won’t?
Former mayor and current fascist sex pest Rudy Giuliani looking shocked.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Jim Henson didn’t build a giant Animal so you could tell me AI is “inevitable”
Scene from The Muppet Movie, in which a giant Animal terrifies a town.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Found some of my own photos. The tide must have been high enough for the water to just come over the planters.
Gray-black crab on hard ground. Sumida River, Tokyo Several crabs on muddy ground next to tall grass. Sumida river , Tokyo Gray crab on concrete, flexing for the camera. Sumida River, Tokyo.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
[not my photo] yeah, depending on the tides/weather, you can see these little guys (5-8cm across) all around the jogging path on the Sumida River, which is otherwise pretty built up. I imagine the rivers with more greenery have more variety.
Little crabs hiding in the seam between concrete blocks. Found by the Sumida in Tokyo
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
🦀 see a crab, post a crab 🦀 Encountered this walking near the seaside in Ibaraki Japan. Gave us a start when it scuttled across the footpath as we’d just been warned to watch for snakes.
A small crab with a reddish body and white claws, hiding between some gray rocks.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
🎶I hope I get it, I hope I get it…
Entrance to Toho Studios in Tokyo, wall with a black and white painting of Godzilla
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
See? Because of me there’s a sign.
Sign in a Tokyo park that says 
“園内では、服を着てください。
Please wear clothing inside the park.”
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Meat is meat 🤷🏼‍♂️
Poster at a Japan Burger King advertising a “Baby Body Burger”.

This is an actual, unedited photo taken by me.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Drop something from the 1980s
Cover of Atari Age magazine from 1982, announcing the upcoming Swordquest game series.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
TMNT style logo reading “Vintage 80s Plastic Lunchbox”
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
A fat gaijin in kimono
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Author file photo:
Cartoon rabbit with a number 1 on its chest.

Still from the music video “Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me”
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
The one and only.
Former Japan Times columnist, after someone helpfully updated his Wikipedia page
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
Post a gif of your reaction to moderates ever again saying “you’re just overreacting“
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
Had just finished working out and was a bit brain-foggy from fatigue. Stepped heavily into the locker room and nearly crashed into the guy coming out. He stepped out of my way and I mumbled an apology. Realized after it was the wrestler Takayama.
Wrestler Yoshihiro Takayama.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Yep, here together with Dan Bongino
FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino together with Mar A Lago member and sex trafficker Li Yang.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Coincidence? Wake up sheeple!!
Panel from The Watchmen. “Nov 14: A partially muscled skeleton stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before vanishing.”
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
You, of all people, know where the door is.
X post from Laura Loomer:
“So tired of people blaming all of their issues on Jews.

I am so bored.

Every time I log on it’s like Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew.

It kills the user experience here at X.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
I commend the Toyama basketball team on creating a suitably fierce logo, but have any of them actually seen a grouse?
Logo of the Toyama Grouses pro basketball team. The name is written in red heavy metal font above a row of long white fangs.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
I love that, for all their automation, communication, and remote detection and control systems, trains in Japan still include a slot in the dash panel for the driver to place their pocket watch.
Driver’s compartment in a JR East Joban Line train. Pocket watch slot is in front of the driver’s seat.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
Anything to look bigger.
Oklahoma senator Markwayne Mullin in a television debate. Photo from the side reveals he's standing on a box hidden behind his lectern in order to appear taller.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Holy crap, Tabelog (食べログ) charges ¥900 to make reservations now!? I made the reservation at about 6pm, arriving at 7, so it’s not a cancellation or no-show charge.
Debit charge of $5.81 (¥900) for Tabelog after making a reservation (not a cancellation or no-show)
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
Did my last wedding ceremony yesterday. Pretty fun actually, the ring-bearers were two dogs in wedding dresses.
Me, standing at an altar in minister’s robes. Photo was taken by me well before the ceremony when the hall was empty.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 16/07/2025
(PSA) Left: chili dog Right: chilly dog Only one makes sense to be buying at a Tastee-Freeze and sucking on.
Photo of a chili dogPhoto of a Slush Puppie cup, colloquially known by some as a “chilly dog”
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
I know some folks I follow collect old-ish cameras. I have a 1994 Canon Eos Rebel S (US version of Eos Kiss?) film camera of unknown functionality, unused for 20+ years, with 35-70mm zoom lens. Cleaning house, so if you want it, it’s yours. Can hand over in Tokyo area.
Canon Eos rebel S film camera, 35-70mm lens
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
Pencil drawing of a woman’s face in profile, cartoonishly exaggerated nose and lips.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve always been more of a stew, pasta & sandwich type. I may have been penalized by the fact that I hate oysters in any form and mussels turn me into a double-ended fire hose.
Results of a foods vs social class survey, displayed as a radial chart. Lower, lower-middle and middle class are all over 4 of 5. Upper-middle and upper class are 2.5 - 3 out of 5.

The caption reads “your food choices could not be tied to any one social class.”
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
“Goodbye, sir.”
Glados, from Portal.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Smokey and the Pope
White smoke billowing from the Vatican chimney, signaling that the conclave has chosen a new pope.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
Well, judging by this announcement…
Luxembourg headline: De Poopst François ass dout
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
“You have a fiduciary duty to your employer!”
Not James Carville, but the dying alien from the 80s film Coccoon, to whom he bears a striking resemblance.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Proposing a Goldfish Award for the most context-blind reporting of the week. Prize is a special ration of chocolate, increased to 15g this week only!
Headlines from Fox Business, BBC, Financial Times, yahoo finance, CNN and Axios all announcing that stocks are soaring, ignoring that they’ve crashed three times as much in the past week.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
I think the last film I saw in a theater together with my father was Top Secret. He really liked it.
Still from the film Top Secret. Val Kilmer in a blue tuxedo with his hands up.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 31/03/2025
This one comparing during the campaign vs this month.
Two photos of Usha and JD Vance. Above, during the 2024 campaign. Below, March 2025 during the recent Greenland visit. She is 39.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
I grew up in the 1970s/80s and if you’d said to me in 1980 that there was no racism in America I’d have said you were an idiot.
Lawyer Ted Landsmark being attacked in Boston’s Government Center by a group of racist students in 1976. While one holds him from behind, another is attempting to impale him with an American flag on a pole. The students were protesting against black students being bused to white schools and attacked Landsmark as he walked to work.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
Discovered a neat place for day drinking.
A can of Two Rabbits Aussie Pale Ale next to a glass from 上野遊戯倶楽部: Ueno Leisure Club. A tiny little shop with lots of beer, gin, and whiskey.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
Tokyo Spice Hunt! 5. Afuri Karakurenai (辛紅) in Shinjuku Noodles are very thin, like angel hair pasta. Soup is a yuzu pepper base. Extremely spicy, but had actual flavor through the heat. Spice levels are 0-8, I ordered the special level 28. Unlike Kanda, no waiting. ¥1600 🌶️ 11/10 😋 7/10
Exterior of Afuri Karakurenai, at Shinjuku Subnade. I did not need to wait outside.Menu at Afuri Karakurenai. Spice levels are listed at the left, from 0 to 8. On the right is their specialty level 28 ramen. ¥1537 by itself, ¥1882 with lassi.My bowl of level 28 ramen. Yuzu flavor was very strong, even though the heat. Victory. Ramen finished, noodles and broth.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
What peak success looks like:
Ringo Starr in the 1981 film Caveman, dressed in furs and leather.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
I restrict myself only to “challenge menus” that actively seek to hurt me.
Karashibi Kikanbo in Kanda. Ramen covered in a thick layer of togarashi and sansho powder.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
By coincidence, the other Dennis the Menace made his debut across the ocean on the same day.
Debut comic of the British Dennis the Menace, March 12, 1951
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
Tokyo Spice Hunt! 4. Sen-shiro (川城) in Takashimadaira on the Mita Line. Ma-bo Tofu instead of ramen this time. Very thick and meaty, using a blend of spices so that it wasn’t overwhelmingly one flavor. Very good. Lunch was ¥1000 and very filling 🌶️ 8/10 😋 8/10
Sen-shiro 川城 Chinese restaurant, located at 7-21-14 Takashimadaira, Itabashi-ku. Open at lunch, lunch sets ¥1000Ma-bo tofu from Sen-shiro. Looks small but surprisingly filling. Very good.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
without downloading any new pics, describe your gender
A diagram from a scientific report showing the density and distribution of particles that are emitted during a fart. The farting person is standing, while a second seated person is taking the full brunt of the fart to the face.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
“You didn’t see nothin”
Photo of an orca, head out of the water, facing camera with mouth open.
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Sublight Monster @sublightmonster.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
Post a meme made by you
Photo of a magazine stand. Caption says “So many issues here”.
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