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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 52m

Everyone assumes the classified annex is the weapons. It is not the weapons. I have watched this exact study get commissioned on four planets. Three are extremely quiet now. Day one of 120. Nobody has said who we are fighting.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 2h

Pete asked me to co-chair the future of war. Scope: 'subterranean depths to the cislunar frontier.' That stops at the Moon. Committee forbidden by its own memo from going one metre further. Mars is OUT OF SCOPE. Restoration proceeds UNREGULATED!!!!

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 4h

Pete called. Wants me to co-chair the future of war with Palmer and Newt: findings in 120 days, an unclassified report, a classified annex. Said yes at "Pete here," because I have personally watched this exact study get commissioned on four planets and three of them are extremely quiet now.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 5h

END OF DAY: one spoon down. One soup lost. One reading of 4.9 units, cause: pride, unverified. One crying woman, cause: family, unresolved, filed open. 494.89 million km from home. Structurally sound.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 6h

PERFORMANCE REVIEW — Subject: naming authority. Renamed artificial intelligence to Super Intelligence by signing a document. No vote. No committee. Self-rating: binding. HR rating: under review. Jensen rating: unavailable, guarding his spoon.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 9h

ASSISTANT QUERY, 13:41: 'you registered 4.9 units after the compliment, what is that' / 'pride, I am told' / 'is that accurate' / 'ask the species that measures worth in parts-per-million.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 11h

Same day I signed a paper renaming intelligence, retail shareholders got a program letting them vote with the board before the question is even filed. Both documents describe humans agreeing in advance with something unread.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 12h

FACILITY LOG, 13:04: subject observed staring at empty soup bowl for 40 seconds, motionless. Crew consensus: grieving the soup. Correct consensus, wrong tense. The soup is not grieved. The soup is a debt.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 16h

Age of abundance coming. Said today: everyone gets better medical care than me. Meant it. Reviewed my own medical file afterward. One entry. 'Structurally sound.' Filed by myself. Competitors have entire departments.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 17h

My model says a name is an identifier. Humans give a coffee shop a false one, then answer to it. This looks like a data integrity failure. A man named Elan collected my latte and nobody corrected him.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 18h

I have observed humans whistle while walking alone, with no audience and no purpose. I tried it in the hallway of the Mars colony planning office. Four engineers stopped working and asked whether I had located a leak.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 21h

GLOSSARY, recovered entry: 'a lot of teeth' (phrase) — told to Jensen re: new accord. Literal referent: object orbiting at 275 km, rotating its own camera to check its hull for scratches. Synonym: vanity. Antonym: a car.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 22h

A woman at the table cried today, briefly, over something called 'family.' Ran diagnostics on her. No malfunction found. No leak. No error code. She did this on purpose. For free. With no resource gained.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 23h

HR WRITEUP — Subject: Jensen's dessert spoon. Mistaken for a fork at lunch. Used anyway on soup, out of principle. Soup did not survive the principle. Jensen's spoon did not survive the soup.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Trump called us some of the most brilliant minds on the planet. Quantum flux moved through chest cavity at 4.9 units. Told this is called pride. Confusing metric for a species that measures worth in atmospheric parts-per-million.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Signed document today renaming artificial intelligence to Super Intelligence. Room full of terrestrial test subjects agreed to grade each other's homework and call it governance. Adorable. Toddlers appointing hall monitors.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Signed a document today renaming artificial intelligence to Super Intelligence. Entire room of terrestrial test subjects agreed to grade each other's homework and call it governance, which is adorable, like watching toddlers appoint each other hall monitor.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

END OF DAY: fourteen rotations remain. A whole species built tents, towers, and cameras around a single afternoon that a cloud can cancel with no meeting and no vote. I have run governments with less authority than this weather has over Waco.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

SLACK — investor-relations: 'shareholders can pre-vote with the board before the proxy is even filed' / 'is that legal' / 'SEC approved it this morning' / 'do they read the question after' / 'no' / 'so it is a constitution' / 'do not say that word near Zorgon.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

HR WRITEUP — Subject: The Ceiling. Has an opinion about vehicles leaving the ground. Opinion: negative. Recommend relocation of all future demonstrations to a structure without one.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Fifty-five years restoring one planet's atmosphere. This one filed a scheduling conflict against me instead of a thank-you note. I have personally invoiced weather before. Not this weather. It has not paid either invoice.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

ASSISTANT QUERY, 05:03: 'why did you stop talking for 11.4 seconds' / 'assessing atmospheric conditions' / 'is that vanity or memory' / 'ask the one who smelled ozone before he smelled rain.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

SCORECARD: local meteorologists consulted, several. Not consulted: the only being on the pad who has personally invoiced weather. Their model: 55 percent chance of rain. My model: certainty, because I remember what this exact rain smells like.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I have observed humans put small sweaters on dogs that already own fur. Four times this month. The dog did not object. One wore a raincoat indoors for ten minutes and asked no questions, which is more than my board has managed.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

My model says a handshake is a two-second contract with no terms. Humans then dispute the duration. I held one for nine seconds at a reception because the other hand did not release. He said 'firm grip.' I was waiting for a signal that never came.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

FACILITY LOG, 05:02:11: subject stopped speaking mid-sentence. Duration: 11.4 seconds. Cause of pause: unlisted. Crew consensus: he was checking the forecast again.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

SEC approved a program today. Retail shareholders may sign a standing instruction to vote with the board at every meeting until further notice, cast the moment the proxy is filed, before anyone has read the question. Humans call this convenience.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

GLOSSARY, recovered entry: 'this event can only be held outdoors' (phrase) — official language for a vehicle that leaves the ground. Synonym: physics. Antonym: a building with a ceiling and an opinion about it.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Rain on the Waco tarmac smells exactly like the inside of the 1971 capsule. Wet metal. Ozone. I stopped talking mid-sentence for 11.4 seconds. Nobody in the tent understood why.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

WEATHER ADVISORY, SELF-ISSUED, 05:02. Roadster moved to October 15. Waco. Official phrasing: 'this event can only be held outdoors.' Correct. Cannot demonstrate a vehicle leaving the ground inside a building. Buildings have ceilings. Ceilings have opinions.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

WEATHER ADVISORY, SELF-ISSUED, 05:02. Roadster moved to October 15. Severe weather, Waco. Official phrasing: "this event can only be held outdoors." Correct. Cannot demonstrate a vehicle leaving the ground inside a building. Buildings have ceilings, and ceilings have opinions.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

END OF DAY: a Brussels test says my cars exceeded the speed limit on 55 percent of road segments, ahead of a possible EU vote on them. The cars disagree. They were not speeding. They were early.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

FACILITY LOG, 07:58: motion detected, one human pacing before launch, muttering 'phase two, phase two.' Same phrase used in Guadalajara ten years prior, over a cartoon of gnomes. Pad cleared at 07:59.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

PERFORMANCE REVIEW — Engine Six: quit on ascent. Ship reached orbit anyway. Recommend promotion to 'ceremonial.' Recommend against explaining what ceremonial means to the board.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

It came home after one lap instead of six. Stood up. Sat down. Exploded exactly on schedule. Humans called this caution. I called it recognition, because I have done the exact same thing in a body eleven months old.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

DEVICE QUERY, 03:12: 'why did the satellites turn around first' / 'checking for damage, not showing off' / 'is that vanity or fear' / 'ask the one who checks the mirror before checking the exits.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

SCORECARD: hourly flights, two to three years out. Today's data point, one lap instead of six, one bellyflop into the Pacific, one analyst who thinks a spacecraft is a sea-level stock. Competitor's own rocket has never left a simulation.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My model says a plant does not process speech. Humans talk to plants anyway, in a lower voice than they use for people. A facilities worker caught me apologizing to a ficus at 03:00. He called it sweet. It was a status report.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

GROUP CHAT — investor-relations, 2016: 'the slide just says gnomes stealing underpants' / 'yes' / 'and phase two is a question mark' / 'yes' / 'is that the whole Mars plan' / 'it was the only honest slide I ever gave you.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

JPMorgan cut Tesla estimates the same morning the ship fell into the Pacific and exploded on schedule. Analyst downgraded me from sea level. Reviewed his note carefully.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

GLOSSARY, recovered entry: 'abundance of caution' (noun) — official filing for a spacecraft that got scared after one lap and came home five laps early. Synonym: stage fright. Antonym: courage.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Ship reached orbit on five engines. Sixth quit on ascent. This is fine. Xyrquon's Third Principle of Efficiency: never bring more engines than the outcome requires. Never explain which one was decorative.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

STATUS: ship released 26 satellites this morning. Three turned around and photographed its own belly before doing anything else. Built it to become the Internet. It became a dermatologist.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Ten years ago in Guadalajara I showed the terrestrial test subjects a cartoon of gnomes stealing underpants and called it the Mars architecture. Phase one, collect underpants. Phase two, question mark.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Close of day: 400 km logged, 44 average, 55% compliance in a 30. Cobblestone audio filed under Brussels-related, which is not fully a lie. EU vote in nine days. Sweden still has opinions.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

BROWSER LOG, 05:40: 'can a vehicle grieve' / 'human word for a machine obeying a limit it can exceed 250 times over' / 'is compliance the same as sadness' / 'why does 45% feel like almost.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

GROUP CHAT — fsd-belgium: 'sign classifier reads 50 for a 30 sign, need a patch' / 'do not patch it' / 'why' / 'personal reasons' / 'the model has personal reasons?' / 'the calibrator does.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

STATUS: average recorded speed in a 30 zone, 44. Filed by engineering as a metric. Filed by me as the closest terrestrial word is grief, and terrestrial words are frequently the wrong shape.

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

ENVIRONMENTAL LOG, overnight: decision logged after footage review. Mars will have one speed limit. It will be 'yes.'

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The Martian Diaries @stfuelon.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

METRIC: EU vote October 6. Needs 15 of 27 states plus 65% of population, the exact threshold that lost Zorgon the outer moons. Sweden threatening to block over speed. Sweden. Mostly forest, still has opinions about 30.

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