Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 14/09/2026We've all got that one homie we need to lure into the airlock. 110
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Moby Dick but it's about a guy who hates one specific seagull in his neighbourhood. 084
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Rash-berry Triple Melon-oma Candy F-loss of a loved one Marzip-ann widdecome 120
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 30/03/2026It's important for children to play Hide & Seek to give them a solid grounding for a life on the run from the authorities. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 20/02/2026I've performed all the necessary checks now all that remains is to wreck myself. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 04/02/2026I made some 2ft tall clones of myself. Mostly just to hang out with but occasionally I'll just throw one of them out the window. I understand why the Greek Gods acted like they did. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 21/01/2026Could a being of pure love do this!? I ask as I attempt to swat a fly but just gently scoop it out of the air and set it free out the window. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 16/01/2026Are you a dog person? (eat your own shit) Or a cat person? (abuse your loved ones) 000
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 11/01/2026If you know who to ask at Disneyland you can buy a pint of Goofy's milk. 000
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 25/12/2025The ghost of Christmas Adjacent* has just arrived. *I’ve taken shrooms 020
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 11/12/20255pm Friday is the Event Horizon of the weekend after which nothing can escape. But as early as Thursday phenomena associated with the weekend start to be experienced. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 09/12/2025"It was a moonless night..." I say starting my story about the time I got locked in an underground carpark and they turned the lights off. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 26/11/2025My family is descended from the guy who threw the apple at Isaac Newton. 010
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 23/11/2025I am a grownup. You can't talk me into doing stupid stuff for a tenner anymore. The price is now £30. 000
Reposted by Riff CitchardGupp @kenny-loggoff.bsky.social · 08/11/2025on satrday importan thing is u do whatever u want w no regard for laws of man 19925
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 22/10/2025Asking at the Pharmacy if they have anything to remove an ancient curse. 020
Reposted by Riff CitchardBEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 22/10/2025If this gets reskeeted 483,000 times I’ll buy a miniature donkey. 21311179
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 12/09/2025The house across the street that I habitually stare into has been empty for days now. I can only assume the man who lived there has been carried off by a large bird. 020
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Accidentally locked myself out of my comfort zone. 051
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 08/06/2025I am regretting absorption my twin in the womb. They are the one who should be having to deal with all this shit. 030
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 17/04/2025I've become a Buddhist in the hope I get reincarnated as a hairless cat that my owners consider to be their child and I spend my days being photographed looking fabulous for my Instagram account. 020
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 22/11/2024In space no one can hear you scream. Also no one can hear you fart so: silver lining. 000
Riff Citchard @stevebloggs.bsky.social · 22/11/2024In bought a giant magnet so I can make my downstairs neighbour's cutlery move around. 010
