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Stefan Sommer

@stefansommer.bsky.social
1.7K followers 283 following 5.6K posts

"Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man." - Jack Handy

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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 22h
Colby giving Gable a hard time for running out of the cage and not staying for the ref to raise the other guy's hand is next level hypocrisy. Jon not reminding him of this is next level stupidity. No wonder these two idiots were roommates.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
One of my best mates was on Property Brothers and I spent a year screenshotting and clipping all the personally negative reviews that everyone had to say about him. Every time he said something that annoyed me in the chat group, I'd post another one. It goes on to this day. So satisfying 🤣
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
In 2006 my idiot friend broke my rib while we were rolling at Jiu Jitsu. If I hadn't gone home early, I'd have met Michael Bisping when he came in later that evening. I would have convinced him to quit fighting and remain a DJ and he'd have a better life and 20/20 vision had I not broken that rib.
static.klipy.com
Ufc Michael Bisping
ALT: Ufc Michael Bisping
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
My Dad is from there and I almost bailed on Canada after 9/11 and university. Part of me will always regret not leaving but I've made a killer life in Toronto. If only Placebo toured here more often.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
🙌🏼🇨🇿🇨🇦🙌🏼
static.klipy.com
Thor from Avengers: I Knew It
ALT: Thor from Avengers: I Knew It
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Probably for partyin so fukn hard, man. Good for you.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I often ask myself how my life would have turned out if I'd moved to Prague in 2003 as I'd been intending. If nothing else, I would have gotten to see Placebo play so many more live shows. Probably would have been worth it.
youtu.be
Placebo - Helen Keller - Lyric Video
YouTube video by PLACEBO
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Kobe thing is what gets me the most. Kobe was in Utah the night before with Gianna to watch LeBron pass him on the scoring list and then flew on that fateful helicopter trip the next morning, leaving from LA to go elsewhere.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
There is no such thing as an ethical billionaire. You cannot make that kind of money without severe exploitation.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Meanwhile Giannis owns a stake in Kalshi and LeBron is a whore for Polymarket. Big ups to the future face of the NBA. Wemby knows the score.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Alcoholics and serial sex abusers only. That's the new rule. Hoo-rah.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Just serial sex abusers, alcoholics, the mentally and morally deficient, the unqualified and of course, those already compromised by foreign intelligence actors. Quite the dream team you've assembled, Kegsbreath. Bravo 👏🏼👏🏼
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Donald Glover's 'Good' Meme Moment
ALT: Donald Glover's 'Good' Meme Moment
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
My buddy was the guy who shot himself in the weed commercial from the first one and he still gets cheques every year for like $0.30 in royalties from H&K. Shit makes me laugh every time.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
We recently had to deal with a credit union on Vancouver Island and it was a nightmare. Literally years of bullshit. My aunt would have been so angry if she knew what was happening.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I am, in fact, not wealthy. I would also like it if we didn't willingly let the planet burn.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
"bUt WhAt aBoUt ouR EConoMyyyy?!?"
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
"AI nonsense gets exposed " Fixed that for you. FYI there are so many talented humans that this isn't even slightly necessary. You should be angry at the notion that they expected otherwise from this headline.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Mac Miller should be illegal to listen to after 8pm. I would definitely have more money and fewer previously broken bones if so. IYKYN
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Literally the #1 song I've never seen played live that I can't die without experiencing. I've seen everyone else, and I truly mean EVERYONE. If they're not coming to me (Melbourne to Toronto), I'll come to them (Toronto to Melbourne). 🤘🏼
youtu.be
Press Club - Late Teens
YouTube video by PRESS CLUB
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
HE LIVES! *arf* *arf*
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
GIVE HER TWO MORE ONE FROM ME AND ONE FROM MURPHY
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I'm constantly blown away by how blessed my life has been with incredible people and boundless opportunities to make the most of their company and our willingness to enjoy it. My life is STUPID fun. It doesn't even make sense. Working class living shouldn't be so rewarding, but here I am... 🤘🏼
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
What a killer Friday you've enabled. Have the most fun! Give your sassy girl a frozen treat for me, please! Hal Jordan would want you to. You'll see.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I'm sure the MAGA community who see this will respond with the grace and dignity for which they're famously known 😏
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Socialism is apparently fine so long as you blow up children with it. Do I have that right?
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I wish people would stop pointing it out. The best thing for Canada, especially right now, is for PP to continue being weak and ineffective.
static.klipy.com
Chris Pratt's Iconic Shhh Gesture
ALT: Chris Pratt's Iconic Shhh Gesture
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
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Bugs Bunny Counting His Money
ALT: Bugs Bunny Counting His Money
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Agreed. Also, look to the problems with the 407 to see where this road leads.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Aw, buddy. That is so fucking unfair. I'm so sorry. 😭
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
You monster
static.klipy.com
Hannibal Lector Cruelty
ALT: Hannibal Lector Cruelty
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
*Known Domestic Abuser Dana White It's impossible not to feel some sympathy for Tom in this scenario. Other than choosing a life as an MMA fighter, he did nothing wrong. Dana White continues to be the most garbage person in a sport filled with garbage people AND nazis. He's a bald, deaf loser.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
When Dana loses, we all win.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Hearing DC yell about somebody not using enough high kicks when that chubby Bunny himself couldn't kick above his own waist 🙄
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I side with the fat and sassy. Always.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Oh, sorry. She assumed that moral support counted as help. I'm not sure she's wrong. (She's not wrong)
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
A reminder to all teachers, parents, school employees and anyone concerned with the education system in Ontario: THIS is the Minister of Education. A man who has lied and screwed over his own family members. Don't believe a word he says as he postures up as the victim against the big, bad unions.
ottawacitizen.com
Paul Calandra court documents point to family dispute over money, assets
Before he was elected in 2008, the prime minister’s parliamentary secretary, Paul Calandra, was embroiled in an ugly family dispute in which he was accused of takin…
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I can see Lake Ontario about 100m from my window. One day, there will be a swarm of drones piloted by Palantir employees coming over the waters from Rochester and I'll have to spend the rest of my life hassling conscripted US soldiers by calling them hosers and goofs as they attempt to hold Toronto😭
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
If all they did was clap, that's far less offensive than when those OTHER immigrants were eating the cats and eating the dogs. Sam, how in the name of high holy fuck did any of that WORK?!? It boggles the mind.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
When Mamdani shows up to the 9/11 memorial, his words will be dissected and used against him by countless media outlets. Nothing he says will be considered harmless. He will spend weeks defending himself for honouring victims and first responders. And no one will question Trump's delusional rant 🙄
static.klipy.com
Racist Racism
ALT: Racist Racism
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Come get your grandpa. He's buggin out again.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This New World Order is even dumber and less sensible than the one in the 90s. I blame every single American who ever watched The Apprentice for this.
static.klipy.com
NWO Hulk Hogan
ALT: NWO Hulk Hogan
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Isn't this guy like the Michael Jordan of committing fraud by victimizing the poor? What a messed up country, man.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Why do some backpacks in America have bulletproof linings? Oh yeah. That.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
The memes are also a symptom of the fact that Charlie Kirk seemed to almost be a *fan* of school shootings. Certainly, he wasn't terribly upset by them, given his multiple reactions of "they're a part of society now and God bless the 2nd amendment" type of bullshit. I've paraphrased, there.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
As of right now, all education workers in Ontario are working under an expired contract and the provincial government here is hell bent on blowing up the very bargaining format before they even agree to negotiate a deal. This is all to benefit private schools owned by their donors.
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Stefan Sommer @stefansommer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This is my 23rd year working in the TDSB and I have never seen things as dire as they are today. The cutting and slashing by the Ministry of Education will ensure a difficult and needlessly painful school year for staff and students. Make no mistake, they are trying to break the TDSB permanently.
cp24.com
TDSB budget cuts loom large for parents as kids head back to school
School bells are ringing throughout Toronto, but advocates are sounding alarms about the impacts certain cuts could have on children’s education.
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