iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

speedwagon is my witness to this abuse that no one else sees. he's my guardian angel... the protector of my peace of mind. :'( ❤

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

i will confess too that i get this weird, deeply unsettled & uncomfortable feeling now whenever i so much as *see* an AMAB person ... i guess having a demon as a "paternal unit" while AFAB will do that to ya</3

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

it is officially #roberteospeedwagon month everypony. let's do this thing 🙏🎩💗 (praying that it goes well 🤞)

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

maybe i really am as bad as they say. maybe i am deeply childish, cruel, lazy and selfish. maybe i do deserve what i've suffered through, and more. because in all this petty resentment i've finally allowed myself to feel, i agree with them now.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

my last request to anyone who finds this after i'm murdered is to PLEASE refer to me as i have vocally wished for so long: by my preferred name, pronouns, and gender identity. which are all MASCULINE. thank you.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

the only thing i have to protect myself in this world is my (surprisingly to many) excellent education and my (mostly) self-taught creative skills i was somehow blessed with. that is it. i'm screwed

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

still scared out of my goddamn mind but what can i *really* realistically do in this situation. i'm needed; no, REQUIRED by a child and more than one furry friend ("pet")..... i can't get out

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

also i HATE having to miss speedwagon's birthday season over this kind of shit aGAIN like i'm just going to cry like i did last year and the year before that I JUST WANT TO CREATE IN PEACE 💔💔💔💔

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

mud hut vs. moldly bug-infested basement w/ paint chipping off the walls from multiple floods

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

i have suffered (+ still am) from severe, disabling (while ALREADY disabled) psychological damage afflicted by my own folks. the *LEAST* you could do is not be a dick to me. thanks</3

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

maybe the reason i'm so fucked up in the head & have thoughts of violently destroying myself daily is because ww3 is coming within the next decade & some higher power out there knows i'm not going to be able to withstand this all at its worst so it's just going "yep, take him out the easiest way"...

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

i deserve to be recognized as robert e. o. speedwagon's biggest fan (of ALL TIME) because i talk back to tyrants & never let my spirit die. irl.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

i self-ship with speedwagon to cope with all this crazy shit so please please PLEASE don't take him away from me (half /silly half /srs)

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

yeah, *I'M* the "stupid r-worded bitch"- even though i'm the only adult in this household that's 100% sober (always has been) AND i'm the one with hard-earned talents who actually graduated high school with a physical diploma (+ managed to get some college credit) despite everything. UNLIKE YOU!!!

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

he hates me. he wants me dead. they ALL do. it's very clear to me...

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/02/2026

"A coward dies a thousand deaths/A soldier dies but once" [ "If I Die 2nite" ] - 2Pac (1995)

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i'm strong. in fact, i'm stronger than you.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

actually i think he *is* in his 50s now. huh. crazy.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

i have suffered (+ still am) from severe, disabling (while ALREADY disabled) psychological damage afflicted by my own folks. the *LEAST* you could do is not be a dick to me. thanks</3

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

that morning i had faced my "father" again for the first time in half a decade which almost broke me entirely recently felt like my joan of arc moment. like i had finally unlocked my very own "enchantix" fairy powers due to the sheer fear + stress of surviving the event ...... i feel UNSTOPPABLE.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

the irony of a nearly 50-year-old military man of the cis male sex yelling at me about having no right to complain -- all while flexing his natural-born privilege of being able to comfortably stand before me **shirtless** with nothing else on other than his underwear.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

happy first day of fall, y'all. the best time of all~ 🍂🕸🍎💟

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

REO SPW: city boy w/ country grit x BIZARRE STARRE ☆: country boy w/ city charm

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

my own parents call me the "bitch" word so often over the smallest bit of urgency and/or concern in my autistically monotone voice. bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch also the fucking "r-word". which yes i reclaim -- around them *ONLY* because actually what the FUCK. IS WRONG WITH THEM MENTALLY????!^#@

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 09/12/2025

you may be "socially anxious", might have even contemplated/planned suicide like i have -- but if you're still in contact with at least ***one*** other person who actually values you + have any semblance of true independence (physically, mentally, financially; etc.) then... yeah. we're not the same.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 09/12/2025

yes, i have struggled **this** much my whole life and my family has decidedly done nothing (+ even abused me over these traits instead, pretending i was that way on purpose, & thinking that would make them magically disappear/i would grow out of them???) shit hurts man... i have no life to live.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

PTSD is fucking stupid btw. my recommendation is to *never* have it- (obviously fucking /lh /j about one of my own goddamn conditions)

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

just had another one last night. MUCH WORSE. can't even go into detail it was so bad; but just know it involved a police raid on my home. (went back to sleep just to end up having yEt ***ANOTHER*** nightmare about him back-to-back, but this time more tame -- i guess)

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

the spiders craft my dress the centipedes become my horses the mold becomes my carriage and the roaches become my drivers

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

if you wanna know just how fucking scary it is to be me w/ my brain, look no further than the night terrors i get regularly: the one i had today wasn't the *worst* (though i did have to see a snapped bone + blood just before i woke up in tremors) -- but i have CRIED before. no wonder i can't sleep.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

"how are you able to experience ptsd without being in the military????" oh... you don't know that i actually ***am*** a war vet -- i fought in the battle of my bedroom. =_=

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

he hates me. he wants me dead. they ALL do. it's very clear to me...

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i'm going to finally do it and then he'll be "happy" everyone will. including me

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

if i die then speedwagon's most notable fan in the whole wide world will be gone just think about it

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

every gang has got 1. THE BOSS 2. THE "BIG GUNS" 3. THE NEURODIVERGENT CLUTCH 4. THE POET(-waitwhat)

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

there is no transSEXual out there that can MAKE ME medically and/or legally transition for their comfort -- nor will ever again convince me that i am not, HAVE not (for over a fucking DECADE including my CHILDHOOD) done "enough" to prove my identity or be taken more seriously by the rest of society!

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

if **i** need to try "actually transitioning" first, then ***you*** need to try actually using your brain for once (to figure out why someone like me might not want to anymore and/or CAN'T) first!

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

By then you'll already be mine. ♡☀️♡🌙♡🌟♡

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

He, to you, is the Sun; distracting in how much he initially lit up your world. But I -- **I** am your guiding star in the night, though small as I may be. When all is dark and only the moon in the sky can be seen.

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starre 💫💗🎩 || The OTHER "Mr. Speedwagon" <3 @starreduste.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

yeah my dad was right about one thing. no one cares about me, not really. so that's why i'll be continuing to isolate myself. forever and ever and ever.

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