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little star girl consumed by a world

@starleafcreation.bsky.social
53 followers 185 following 26 posts

Survival as an artistically compelled soul.

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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
...fireworks seem too ironic for today... Hypocrisy on full display.
A public fireworks display above the Arkansas River. It is a bit out of season for Little Rock, Arkansas...but not out of character.
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
...the things I didn't say.... my heart is too heavy to be able to fight anything
{I love you too, thank you for helping. 

I do not know what "they" want to hear. 

I was never trained to lie on an application or my resume. 

I was told to prove it. 
I was told to get a degree. The more the better.

I was told to work hard.... work HARDER.

I was trained to do as I was told, Shut The Fuck Up, and deal with the consequences. Apparently I do not work hard enough or efficiently enough to merit employment or a better place in society. 

Arkansas doesn't want me - even when I'm silent and shoved in a corner to be punished by society. 

America does not care what tolls on a human it takes to be a professional artist - people just want the art immediately in front of them exactly how it lives in their own heads. I am a shit artist. 

I cannot agree to "hanging up the lasso of truth" just to get a job in a place that categorically has never wanted me to stay. 

I do not want to be employed in Arkansas because Arkansas does not care about me, my life, or how I can survive in the hellscape the subculture has crafted here in theSouth.

I'm not here to set up roots.
I want to escape this hell. I've been trying to escape this hell, silently, since I was twelve. 

I HAVE DREAMED OF ESCAPING THIS HELL FOR SWENTY SEVEN YEARS. Now I'm trapped worse than ever.

Wonder Woman and her myths were a sanctuary for me when I was extremely young. She was also a reason I was bullied here as an slightly older child... "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" coded Wonder Woman advice feels too similar to a backhanded compliment at this point... }

But these are the things I should not speak aloud.
I am cruel, unkind, and overbearing...
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
So many memories in such a simple object... I don't know if this one was used for comics, illustrations, or animation... But this pencil has been well loved and it's nice to have found it again. I hope I can create something great with it again. #SurvivingArtist
Closeup shot of a colored pencil labeled PC919 Non-Photo Blue lying on top of a nondescript sketch. 

The sketch underneath does not have blue in it. Only bright pink and bright yellow...
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 11/01/2025
A musing out of context but still relevant.
A cropped and out of focus image of a journal page. A hand drawn box highlights the text "The fires rage on as Insurance Companies strategize hypocrisy."
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
Winter has arrived. Mother Nature's wrath is terrifying... as friend's lives burn away, I hunker down with the household, hoping we have prepped enough for the frozen storm slushing over us.
Black and white photograph, with an odd colored lens flare, showing a gentle blanket of snow hushing over a nondescript backyard nestled away somewhere in theSouth; the occupants keenly aware of how severe life would be if they were on the other side of the basement wall...
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
A lot has happened. I've lost and gained. Tomorrow is a new year. Let's see what life brings... #ThoughtsBeforeTheStars
Black and white self portrait, fem face cropped out the upper left corner. Short wavy hair. Backlit with a window over the shoulder. 

My hair used to be down to my lower back/butt... things happen and now the silver highlights bear the record of my life instead of the length of my hair.
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
I met my spouse while training. I watched him give over a decade of his life to this style, raising other people's children and supporting all growth. But when he needed help, the community abandoned him. So much needs to heal from that style - physically and emotionally. Cuong Nhu is not safe.
Group of teenage martial arts students receiving a gift from their sensei after they had accomplished the goal of attaining black belt.

One male figure is in a blue gi top with black pants, others are in white gis, one nonbinary figure is in a black gi top and white gi pants.
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
I wish this was a different skyline. I see the beauty but I am only reminded of the places that felt like home and how this place seems to mock my desire for stability.
View of the Arkansas River at sunset. 
Land and tree are silhouetted against a muted-colored sky of sunset. A small ripple appears in the left lower half of a boat snaking upriver towards the camera.
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
Yes, I'm religious. I believe in the holy trinity:
"the Arts, Maths, and Sciences" hand written in purple paint on chipboard.
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
What do you do when society taught you burning yourself was the only way to earn your place in life?
Cross-stitched quote "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
I want to redo art, but it is trapped behind walls I cannot scale.
A golden splash of painted light with a small white orb sketched into the upper left quadrant.
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little star girl consumed by a world @starleafcreation.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
What would you do if a wish came to you?
Fingers gently holding a dandelion seed, which had gently flown in through the window and landed on my collarbone.
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