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Standard Tom

@standardtom.bsky.social
1.1K followers 1.5K following 380 posts

Your weird but lovable uncle if he were a raccoon, except with more technology. Nerdy. Tragically uncool music. ADHD. ✨Now with Autism for extra shine!✨ NSFW. Other acronyms may apply. See terms & conditions. Husband of Phil! 👬 Dad of cats! 😺😺

PostsRepliesMedia
Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Bly Manor, Hill House, and Midnight Mass all three kill me. Just amazing.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Wow, nice one though!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Naps AND loads.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Insanely hot.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Carrie Out
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I’m a sucker for a beefy guy in jorts. 😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A year late, but you betcha!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
You’re damn fine, mister. 😍😈🍆
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Wow, really hairy balls.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Yummy webs!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Those balls and that curve. ❤️
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Yes - It Can Happen (90125)
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Mmmm crunchy.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
YES PLEASE.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I’m five months late, but RAWR! 😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
All three please!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
It’s really fucking perfect.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
It’s pretty amazing.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Awwww hi kitty! 😻
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Same. I was just out in the backyard wearing just shorts and shoes, and it was dark and cool, and there was a breeze. The leaves were rustling in the branches of the trees. It just felt amazing.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Great legs!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
That’s something that’s totally allowed to cry about. Along with anything else that makes you want to cry. *hugs*
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
A little late, but… Creedence Clearwater Apotheosis The Police State U^2 Jefferson Star Destroyer Bananaramifications Everything But the Girls Gone Wild Tears for Night Terrors The Grateful Liches
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
…can I put my head in there? 😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
And you sure could do ‘em to me.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Flashback to a few hours ago, when this thing was determined to not let me sleep until I paid it some attention.
In a darkened room, an intrepid man lies in bed, bravely battling his hard fireplug penis.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
You betcha. Any and every day.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
EXCELLENT 😈
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I’m about a week late, but maybe you’ve got another one for me now? 🐷😈
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Wow, now that’s my kinda guy! 😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Two years late, but yes please!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Almost two years late, but I’ll gladly take the place of the mirror.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Ummmm WOW 😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
WOW
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
It’s Friday y’all.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Still great legs. 😊
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Damn, you have a great back and balls.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Shower beer used to be a thing. Do ya think I could pull off launching “Shower Zero Sugar Mountain Dew Baja Cabo Citrus?” Really rolls off the tongue, right? RIGHT?!?
A goofy silver-bearded dad type holding a can of soda in the shower.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Ehhh?
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
This is pretty fucking inspirational.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Damn dude. 😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Want!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Late to the party, but Drumsticks, thighs and mummies… I’m so there.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
😍😍😍
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Kinda woke up with a boner. I’ve got stuff to do today, and I won’t be able to concentrate unless I unload first. Would love a bearded mouth for that, but I’ll probably squirt it in one of yesterday’s socks.
A man lying in bed, holding his hard stubby dick.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
I love my Krakatoa trunks! Wearing a pair right now.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
I dig that suit!
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Would love a shower buddy.
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Standard Tom @standardtom.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
I’m about to jerk off into my belly hair, but first, let’s post my dick for #fcf.
A man lying on a bed, post-nap, holding his stiff penis. He’s about to jerk off.
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