michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 7hbro Sponge Kevin is having a fucking rave at 1 in the morning what the fuck 100
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 13hHi Bluesky!!! I have a rare disease that requires me to chug 3 cups of Chipotle Aioli every night or "Things Get Real Bad" #Follow4Follow 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 13hBRB im pouring milk into the crock pot and just letting it simmer 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 14hi'm making a delicious stew in my Epstain Schandal pot if you want any 2135
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Adulthood is when you realize the joker is the bad guy 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Why cant a beloved small market football team move to utah so i can have them instead of their fans 100
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 08/09/2026tried to smack some sense into Sponge Kevin yesterday and he just looked at me like this 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 06/09/2026The cock is expired and nobody has touched the balls. This is rediculous 100
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 04/09/2026if you say "who's this clown?" about someone it implies both a) that they're a clown and b) that you don't keep up with the day-to-day goings-on in the clown business. reflects pretty poorly on you imo 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 23/08/2026my family isn't allowed back in bucees after the Brisket Incident 010
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 23/08/2026[me plastered while the cops try to haul me away] i dont Particularly, um, Fucking care? what you, a bigot agianst People who Piss on vending machines/? You should be ashamd, bro. fucking Dumbass idiot 100
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 22/08/2026[sneering at the 17 IRS agents surrounding my domicile] Oh Yeah, well, Superman doesnt pay taxes. Probably. 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Sponge Kevin just ran into my house and then it grew legs and ran away. i swear to god i am going to pop a cap in his sponge ass TODAY 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 18/08/2026we're going back in time to the first 9/11 to take the twin towers off the menu 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 18/08/2026guy with weird glasses and a USB port on his forehead (?) just threatened to trap me in the "Gay Matrix." what should my next move be 010
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 17/08/2026dude Sponge Kevin just knocked my Daisy Cruiser cruse tickets into the garbage disposal (was in my house uninvited!!! btw) 100
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 16/08/2026got a 6% discount at kroger because the cashier threw a glass bottle at my head at full speed 010
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Sponge Kevin just shot a firework at my house and when i confronted him he just laughed like a maniac 010
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 15/08/2026told the burger king drive thru that id gladly pay them tuesday and they slashed my tires 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 15/08/2026wife and i got into a fight because she now wants our beautiful son to be called Bathroom 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 14/08/2026As a lawyer, I only cheat on my wife with my own clients, so that it would be illegal to admit the truth to her, due to "Attorney-Client Privilege" 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 13/08/2026YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! youtube.com/shorts/4OrxL...youtube.comSMASH HOT HONEY CHICKEN FRIES from Buns n Shakes in New Brunswick, NJ! 🔥🔥🔥 #DEVOURPOWERYouTube video by Devour Power TV 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 11/08/2026had to quit my doordash job because people kept tipping me negative amounts of money and i was running at a loss 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 02/08/2026tfw you use personality A with friend group A but youre not funny 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 25/07/2026another beautiful day in orem. i think i'll post on r/SipsTea 000
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 25/07/2026setting my vpn to western sahara and ordering doordash 100
michael @squidfeld.bsky.social · 23/07/2026HELLO 911 I JUST SAW A PURPLE SMURF BITE A REGULAR SMURF AND THEN THAT ONE TURNED PURPLE TOO. SEND NATIONAL GUARD IMMEDIATELY 000
